- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
So, I know I’ve posted about my wedding planning frustration before the wedding monster has reared its ugly head again…
The newest battle between my mother and I is in regards to flowers. I’ll give you a little recap…my sister is getting married as well this year and her future MIL (we will call her S) owns a bridal business. She does bridal gowns, bridesmaid dresses, tuxes, cakes, invitations, flowers, and various decorations. To make a long story short she lives two hours from my fiancé and I and honestly I don’t really like a lot of her stuff. It just doesn’t fit our style.
So back to my story…my fiancé and I have been looking around at various florists for our big day. We met with one woman who we just loved. We felt like she totally “got us” and our style. I didn’t have to tell her a single flower type as I’m just not a flower person and I don’t have any requirements for a specific flower to be in the bouquets or arrangements. The florist is younger and much more in touch with today’s trends and styles than S . Anyways we left our initial meeting feeling really good about the possibility of booking her. After my Mom found out she insisted we consult S for pricing. I reluctantly agreed to ask her for pricing for everything we believe we will need for the big day. I finally got back her pricing about 2.5 weeks after asking and she ended up being only $150.00 cheaper than the florist we feel in love with. After some discussion my fiancé, we decided to go and book the florist that we originally fell in love with before someone else booked her. Another deciding factor was that if we went with S we would have to guide her on what flowers we want on our wedding day which we have no desire to do. My mom was like well you could go to the wholesale florist with S and pick out what you want. I basically told her I’m not a florist and I don’t have a vision of what looks good together.
Now to the fun…I told my mom calmly over the phone that we made a decision regarding flowers and that we are going to go with the florist that we like. She instantly got really nasty on the phone (even though she isn’t paying a single cent for the flowers) and said that we are being immature and if we want to go ahead and waste our money than that’s fine. She also snottily threw in there “well I hope your happy with your flowers.” She also told me that I’m going to offend S. I don’t understand why I would offend S…I have every right to shop around and do what I want. She also said my fiancé and I are being immature and just spending all this money to prove some point.
My father has gotten in on the negativity train too…we had our engagement photos taken over the weekend and we stopped and saw my parents when we were all done. My mom asked how many photos our photographer took and I said “I don’t know. He took so many that he filled up one of the SD cards in his one camera.” My dad then said “Well you don’t know how big his card was.” Seriously!? If you don’t have anything nice to say then just don’t say anything. Also, a few weeks ago we were talking and he randomly goes “How many people do you think will actually come to the wedding?” I replied probably around 200 (which is the number we said when we first got engaged 9 months ago). And he goes “Well I just think that’s a bit much.”
Ugh…it seems that every time my fiancé and I get excited about any aspect of our wedding and the planning they find some way to just suck the joy and excitement out the day.
Is anyone else having this kind of trouble with their parents (especially over things that they aren’t even paying for)? Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with parental drama?