Post # 1
I have a good friend that I have know for about 15ish years. She is getting married next month. I got a reception only invite (which I was expecting because of a less than tactful phone call from her). The way she has brushed me off since meeting this guy has been upsetting me for a while. She didn’t even come to my 30th birthday party because he didn’t wanna come. I have met the guy once at another mutual friends’ birthday dinner. I used to talk with her ALL the time. We attended the same church up until a few months ago. We have worked together. She watched my kids for me for a whole summer. We had a good friendship … until now.
The issue now is that my FH doesn’t want to go. He won’t request for the time off or a morning shift and he only gets 1 Saturday off a month. I haven’t emailed my RSVP because I don’t know what to do. There will be other people there that I know, but I think it will still be odd to go without him.
Should I go or do I let her know that we won’t be able to make it and express my feelings about how her recent actions have hurt me?
Post # 3
I think you should go. I understand that you are hurt, but this is her wedding day and you don’t want to give her added grief or aggrevation. If you wanted to discuss how hurt you felt, I’d suggest waiting until after the wedding.
I get that you may not want to go b/c of your husband (which is what she did to you), but I think you care enough to want to be the bigger person in this case.
Besides – think about how she may react to you not wanting to attend her wedding b/c of your husband not going..she may be more hurt than you are by her. And if you decide not to go, would you, honestly, regret not going in the future?
Post # 4
I would suggest that you do whatever you’re comfortable with. If you think you’ll feel uncomfortable without your FI there, I would say it’s OK not to go. If you want to go, though, and are just worried about what other people will think, I say go for it!
It also kind of depends on how you feel about the friendship at this point. If you want to reconcile with your friend, attending the wedding (solo or not) wouldn’t hurt. Hopefully after the wedding is over and the dust settles, she’ll come around.
I’m sorry this isn’t more helpful, but I think the best thing is to go with your gut. Good luck!
Post # 5
I think you need to ask yourself if you truly want to be there to celebrate her marriage with her. Set aside the way she has been acting when making your decision. If the answer is yes then I think you should go even without your FH. I don’t think you’ll regret going but image how you would feel if sometime down the road you two really revived your relationship and you didn’t go to her wedding.
Good luck with your decision.
Post # 6
Reception only???? Such a breach in ettiquett…(unless it’s a no-gift wedding)…but I’m off topic…
I think you should go and enjoy yourself and try to catch up with her. Her FH may not be the reason she’s acting wierd, it could just be her. If you’re truly friends, you can get over that, especially since sometimes we (women) disappear when we finally find THE ONE. Give her a chance!
Post # 7
I agree with everything Ms. Tofu siad.
If you really don’t care for her anymore, that would be one thing. But I doubt you’ve written the last chapter in that book. When both of your weddings blow over, maybe you’ll be able to reconnect. By then both will be married, and if/when you have children, that will be another way to bond.
As for not going to your b-day party, because he didn’t want to go, try to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he’s shy. Maybe he was sick. Maybe he was trying to get back at her because they had a fight.
Post # 8
I had to do a reception only invite list. Our wedding site would only hold so many people, period, but we wanted to share the day with everyone, so thus we invited many people to the reception only. We didn’t invite them to receive more gifts, we invited them because we wanted to boogie down with them! I don’t see a problem with reception only invitations.
I would think it’s more taboo to invite people to the ceremony only, instead of the reception.
Post # 9
Definetely go! Take this opportunity to start the mending of your friendship with her. There are lots of events that I want to go to that my husband does not, especially weddings. The only wedding he has ever wanted to go to was our own! At first felt insecure that I would attend something alone, but I got over it and learned to enjoy it, and it makes me appreciate it more when we do other things together.
Post # 10
Don’t get me started on ettiquite and her wedding. Let’s just say that I JUST got the invite 3 weeks after the initial phone call for a March 14th wedding. In the invite was a registery card that said they were not registering but there would be a money box at the reception, or get a gift card from store X or Y. My FH name and my children’s names were not on the outer envelope, and there was no inner envelope or belly band with guest names.
She has pushed me away so much the last few months that it feels like I got a sympathy invite, not that she really wants me to come. Whenever I think about the whole situation I get all teary eyed. I honestly don’t know what to do. If I go without FH I don’t think I will have a good time because I will feel self conscious that he is not there. I hate the Where is FH? questions.