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Yes! Well, let me ask you this...why did she decide to push it back again?
Well I found out today she sent a picture message to my phone of a dress and when I asked what's the ocassion. She responded bridesmaid dress the date is set for Nov I'll be there for yours and you'll be there for mine.
I know it means a lot to her for me to be in her wedding, she sees me like an older sister, plus my FI said he wouldn't go if it was a week before ours. (Yeah he was tough on her).
Do I extend the offer to find dresses or do I ask now if she wants to be a guest or in the wedding party? She's super sensitive and takes things personally even if not intended to be???? What to do???????
Oh I'm so glad to hear that! That was a completely unfair and awful situation you were going to be put in. As for MoH.... hmmm. Tricky. How has she reacted to changing her date? Has she made it explicit that she did it for your benefit? Has she apologized for almost picking your date in the first place? I'd say if her attitude is good and she is apologetic and really sincerely understands that she was in the wrong, then yes keep her as MoH. If, on the other hand, she's acting like she's doing you some huge favor and is carrying a grudge or giving you some attitude about it, then forget it. If she's got a bad attitude or resentment, it might carry over into her shirking MoH responsibilities and just generally not being there for you when you need her to be. You want your MoH to be someone who is 100% there for you and supportive of you.
why is there still an issue! you got lucky! :) she changed her date, don't ruin your relationship. Maybe she was just blind to certain things before and has no realized her mistake. Don't make it a big deal... keep her in your wedding as your MOH and be in hers and support each other!
Congrats!
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OK, I just read your last post. It sounds like she's sorry and is excited for both of your weddings. From what you've said it seems the two of you are close and if she considers you a sister and would be hurt if you didn't, I say forgive her. Family is family, and sometimes we have to forgive and forget. I think ultimately you will both be happy being there for each other and sharing in each other's day.
Yay, I'm glad everything worked out for you! I'd say if you still wish her to be a bridesmaid, there's certainly no harm! If you'd rather not though, it might be better to not ask her rather than strain your relationship.
If it were up to me sounds like she wants to stay close to you and you have your wedding and she have her wedding; take the peace offering like it was intended, she's your family, how can you not be there for each other? It's sweet that she want to be at your wedding and wants you to be at hers; just be prepared you won't have her full concentration as she is planning her own
aw I love families who love each other and try to make it work
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Yay! I'm so glad this was resolved.
I would definitely keep her as BM because the conflict has been resolved. She had a change of heart & realized how awful it would be if you had your weddings back to back (or on the same day). She's trying to repair the damage she has done-- so let her know you're good & start planning your weddings :)
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If it were me, I'd agree to be in her wedding & her to be a bridesmaid in mine. But I don't think you should give her back the MOH position. It's a HUGE responsibility and the main part of being a MOH is being there for the bride (which she failed miserably at the first time).
Gently tell her that, after the wedding date "confusion" (I choose that word to be nice), you asked someone else to fill the role & they would be hurt if you took it away. It's a "move your feet, loose your seat" situtation.
Good luck & I'm glad it worked out this way. Isn't it funny that, after having a huge freak-out about something, it always ends up working out in the end?
I am so happy for you! If it will make you happy, be in hers and keep her as your MOH.
She made a concession to avoid hurting your friendship. You should definitely keep her in your WP to return the gesture of friendship. If you already asked her to be MOH, then she stays MOH. (You can always have two, if necessary). If not, you can have her be a regular BM.
Yeah! So happy that worked out for you! If you forgive her, then definately be in her wedding. Would she even want to be MOH though? Or would she be happier being a BM instead because of her wedding?
I know it's tempting to say, "Oh, when you said you were getting married on the same day, I went ahead and picked a replacement MOH -- so sorry!"...but I would advise keeping that in the realm of fantasy. It sounds as though she temporarily lost her mind and has now (with some assistance) regained her sanity. Put it another way -- she's acting the way you want her to. When people act the way I want them to, I try to reward them. I think this is a situation that calls for a reward.
That having been said, I think you're well within your rights to sit her down, tell her that you're going to be expecting some significant help from her (nothing outrageous, mind you), and while you will totally understand if she wants to drop down to "wedding guest" and focus on her own wedding, if she decides to go ahead as MOH, she's going to need to be committed to the role. No last-minute cancellations of dress-shopping appointments for anything less than a medical or other emergency, no dragging her feet on helping to plan the bachelorette party...you get the idea. You could couch it as this being the perfect way for her to learn what to do and what not to do for her own wedding, and offer to compare notes with her after your wedding in preparation for the role switch at her wedding, but this will not be a situation where she just shows up at your wedding in a matchy dress. You don't want to get in a situation where she commits to being your MOH and then starts flaking out because planning for her own wedding is overwhelming her life. If she's smart, she will go about being a kick-ass MOH and thus totally mend her relationship with you, OR she'll back out if she feels she's not up to the job.
(Note: One of my MOHs is pretty much just showing up in a matchy dress on my wedding day, but she's also been a stalwart friend who was a wonderful bride back in her day, plus she lives thousands of miles away. When you have to deal with MOH-related drama, I think you should be able to count on a certain level of help if you decide to keep the MOH around. YMMV.)
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After thinking What a B!@#% for picking the same wedding date...she has changed her wedding date back to Nov 2010...question is do I let her be MOH still?