- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
You just have to take the leap. Book the appointment and just go. Unfortunatly it isn't easy but just take a deep breathe and say "GO!" lol :)
I would agree with the previous poster that sometimes you just have to book the appointment and go for it! You can do it! That being said, when buying a home from a (future) family member, I would make sure that you follow all of the usual procedures for buying a home. Buying a home is complicated no matter what and it helps to follow the normal requirements. As for a permanent thing like a tattoo, I can understand your hesitation and urge you to follow your heart for that decision.
I had the same issue with an IUD. I just made the appointment when I had a split second of courage and made myself not cancel it.
Stuff like getting your car fixed, maybe just get yourself in an energetic mood so that when you go you've got energy up and it's easier to assert yourself. I find music really helps me change my moods!
I tend to flip flop on whether or not I'm strong, but I have a ton of female friends who are some of teh strongest people (male or female) that I've ever met. Doing even little things on my own helps boost me, as well as learning new things. I can change the oil on any car on my own (learned before I was 10 - thanks, dad!). I will say maybe I'm more independent than strong, which leads to its own set of issues.
I do agree with PP that sometimes you just gotta jump in - head first. So if that means just booking that appt, then do so.
[1] Change can be scary! Plus buying a house is a huge financial investment. When I bought my old house, it was invigorating plus terrifying. Really terrifying. Even the down payment was more money than I'd ever spent. Plus I was tying myself to it... for life. But I also thought of how much I was spending on rent, and had nothing to show for it. I will say don't buy the house unless you are ready. Also, my mom and I were co-executors of my grandmother's estate (noteworthy: my mom has two siblings), and inherited her local house. It needed a LOT of work. LOT. My mom opted to keep it instead of trying to sell it (she now rents it). She and her husband (a retired union carpenter) re-did that house. Instead of just fixing the problems, they really put their heart and souls into that house and re-did it all. Even though he's retired it took a LOT of time and was not easy at all. For them, it made them closer and teh house means more to them b/c they did so much of the work themselves (I helped w/ portions and damn, that stuff is HARD). Make sure that you have the time and money to put into fixing the house. You may need to do portions at a time - if so, are you okay with that?
[2] I have a Mirena, and I had my first cavity a little over 2 years ago. However, I also have some health issues and honestly, I haev a really good pain threshold. I can deal with a fair amount of pain. I will say that a lot of my friends have IUDs and their level of pain with insertion varied wildly. I had no clue what amount of pain to expect. Take plenty of ibprofun ahead of time, and see if your doctor will not only be okay with prescribing medication to help dialate your cervix (can make insertion easier and potentially less painful - again, this can vary!) as well as numbing your cervix. I had neither and regret not asking. On the plus side, the pain is QUICK. The sounding (measuring of your uterus) was the worst part and... well, not the worst pain ever (that'd be kidney stones), but damn. It wasn't bad enough that I would never get an IUD again. I would. It was quick (but sharp). My doctor was also very quick. In between sounding and insertion I needed a break (about a minute). I really pondered getting up and leaving (mostly b/c I was afraid insertion would be worst and take more time). But I did it. For me, I made my appt for only a few days after I called. I was afraid if I waited longer I wouldn't go or I'd switch it. I did take the rest of the day off and had some major love for my heating pad. But, it was much better as the week went on.
[3] there's nothng wrong with waiting! I say if you have any reservations, wait! See how the pain w/ the IUD goes, then think about it. My partner has three tattoos (you really wouldn't guess from looking at him) and he said it's all about WHERE they are and how good your artist is.
Anyway, find things that empower you and make you feel more badass. That can vary from person to person. For me, recently flying into another state and driving my rental car from NYC to Jersey made me feel like a badass. That may be dumb to some people, but it made major sense to me and made me feel amazing and strong.
1..... is this the house YOU want? or is it just easy because it is your MILs??? I would suggest buying a house you both WANT... that way it is just exciting..
2. i did the same thing about the IUD. I even called to make and appointment. the day that i made the appointment we heard a story that my fiance asked me to cancel it.... so nuvaring it is!
3. make an appointment for your tattoo for the week after your wedding! just do it, if you want it, and make sure its in a place you wont have to worry or regret for work and issues that can prevent future decisions.
@Stace126: I might not be a lot of help but here are my suggestions :D
#1: Buying a house is super scary! We are n the process of buying our second home (second mortgage..renting out one) and it is super scary. The only thing that eases me is that DH is so cool and in control. He is smart and knows what we can afford, do, what is realistic, etc. Think of this...What is the worst thing that could happen? DH and I bought our first home and moved 300 miles away that same year! Yup, we didnt even live there a year. But, so far that has worked in our favor. We make money on the renters (a little) are able to pay our mortgage and have been so successful in our move that we know have enough money to put a large downpayment on a new home in our new location! So, look at the worst case scenerio and realistic it is. What are you scared of?
#2: I would actually NOT doing something like this. However, if you have all the knowledge needed to make this type of decision and the benefits outway the risks than you shoudl just "woman up" and do it. Just schedule the apt and go. Take a meditation or gentle yoga class before you go and a few days leading up to it. Meditation is amazing!
#3: I think this fear is rational. I honestly dont think you should do it. Why do you want a tattoo? I made a few awful tattoo mistakes and am now going through tremendous pain and spending a lot of $$$ to get them removed. I highly discourage tattoo's unless you are 100% sure and than I would wait another year and see if yo uare still 100% sure.
Good luck to you!! :D
I can't really help out much with the first two things you mentioned but I have 2 tattoos and I was terified to get BOTH of them. I have never liked needles but my DH managed to get us both a tattoo from a friend and we watched him tattoo his wife before actually getting one done so we could see his work. I just jumped in and got one and my DH followed. To be compleatly honest, it tickled. The first few seconds hurt but once it numbed from the vibration it just tickled me. THe guy had to keep telling me to stop laughing so he wouldn't mess up. The second one I was a little scared for too but I told myself there was nothing to worry about and got it.
Here is a pic of my first one
Here is my DH's
The only thing you have to think about is where you get it. Mine is on my shoulder/back and his is on his spine. Mine tickled and he cried. I would suggest not getting one on a bone because it hurts more where as on muscle it numbs pretty fast.
ETA: Here is a pic of mine to show how big it really is
It sounds like you suffer from panic attacks, so I think that's something you need to deal with more than these individual problems. Buying a house, getting a medical procedure, getting a tattoo; these are all normal things to be nervous about. But hyperventilation, panic and trying to physically 'run' from these things is not typical.
You may want to seek treatment for anxiety, but in the meantime here's some advice from a fellow panic junkie: try to work on your breathing. When you start to feel the panic rise, you probably feel some tightness in your chest and your breath begins to get shorter. This is the beginning of your panic spiral that ends up with you crying and trying to escape from the 'threat' through sleep/locking out the world in your room. So when you feel that just beginning, drop your line of thought and just focus on your breath. Keep your mind blank and inhale and exhale deeply and slowly until your breath returns to normal naturally. (Yoga is great for learning how to stop thinking and just breathe if you need help with the 'mind blank' part.)
Sometimes it helps me to think, once my breath is returning to normal, "what was it that frightened me so badly?" Think this without judgment of yourself and without 'reopening' the subject and beginning the panic spiral again. Try to isolate something like 'the idea that I have no choices for my birth control except this IUD' or whatever the source of your fear is. Once you acknowledge that you can develop some self soothing techniques revolving around that fear - maybe saying to yourself 'we're doing just fine with our current birth control, and i don't need to swtich right now' or whatever applies to your situation. After a while I have found this becomes a bit more instinctive and the subject begins to lose its power over you. That doesn't mean you never worry about it, but it becomes less of a pressing/all-consuming horror and panic that drives you to a panic attack, allowing you to think over your options and even take some action without bringing on an attack.
It's perfectly natural to fear the unknown, I actually don't blame you a bit!
I can't help you with the buying of the house bit, Danny and I live in an apt ourselves, so I don't have any experience in that aspect...
As for the BC, if it's non-hormonal I'm assuming you're talking about Paragard? I'm unable to take hormonal birth control due to a serious migraine disorder I have and Paragard was what was suggested to me. I made the appt, and I did actually go and have my uterus measured (at the point I was measured I was unsure whether my insurance would cover the IUD and if I was forced to pay for it they didn't want to order one in not knowing if it'd even fit me) it was nasty, but not too bad. Like a big huge cramp. It hurt for a few minutes afterwards, again, like menstrual cramps, but it wasn't anything too serious. However, after doing my OWN research and hearing what other people had to say about it I decided it wasn't for me. I have nasty NASTY periods and Paragard tends to worsen these. I couldn't imagine my periods being any worse, so I opted out of it. But really, these ladies are right, if you're certain you want it, just make an appt and stick to it! Maybe bring your FI for support (at least he can support you in the waiting room! Lol!) also, if you can, get it placed when you have your period. This is when many gynos normally place these because your cervix is widened and the pain is less severe.
With the tattoo thing...I can tell you, 8 years ago (holy s***, really?!) when I got my first tattoo I was SCARED OUT OF MY MIND. But, as you can probably tell from my profile pic, it ended up not being a big deal. It hurts, but it's not the end of the world. Have you ever had sunburn and then scratched it? It's kind of like that. I do want to say, however, that if you're someone who doesn't want to commit to the "lifestyle" of being a "tattooed lady" and your job has certain restrictions on them or you're planning on pursuing a job that does, etc, PLEASE CHOOSE YOUR PLACEMENT WISELY. And also...BE SURE YOU'RE GETTING EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT TO GET. If you're flip flopping and you're not sure what you want, don't get anything at all. Don't get one just to get one, get one that you really want. At this point it doesn't seem like you're exactly sure of what you want yet, so I would wait...and it's ok if you NEVER get one, they're not for everybody. ^_^
I hope that helped at least a little. <3
I can't speak to the home-buying or birth control questions, but I know about being afraid of getting a tattoo even if you want one. I wanted a tattoo for yearrrrsss and I told myself I was gonna do it like 293 times since the day I turned 18. I finally got one when I was 20, and ended up going back three months later to get another one! And I was just researching ideas for my next tattoo! What worked for me to finally have the courage to do it? I went with my best friend. She was getting her second, and she asked me to go with her, so I did, and she made me an appointment right along with hers. I think going with a friend makes it soooo much easier. I was way more at ease with her there. I also started small. Don't go gigantic for your first tattoo. I don't think that's ever a good idea. My first tattoo is a ~1 square inch star on my hand that took about five minutes to complete. I was SO SCARED watching the artist prep and get the inks ready, clean up, wipe my skin down, but seriously that part was worse than the actual tattoo. The anticipation was agony, but the pain of the actual tattoo wasn't nearly as bad as I expected. The first thing I said when he started was "Oh, that's not so bad." Yes, it hurts, it's a needle piercing your skin over and over...there's no way that's not going to hurt, but it doesn't hurt as much as you'd think. At least that was my experience. And going back a few months later for my second tattoo was a breeze compared to the severe anxiety I felt over getting the first one. And the second one was right on my shin bone!
So yeah, sorry for the mega long response, but I know just how you feel. I hope that was somehow helpful! :)
Here's my first tattoo:
Here's my second:
Edit: Oh yes, about being scared of getting an infection: visit different shops! They should look spotless and smell clean as soon as you walk in the door. And ask questions of the artists before you commit to anything. If you go to a good shop, they'll be more than happy to answer your questions and ease your fears. If you have even a smidge of a doubt, don't get a tattoo there. I'm NOT someone who looks like they'd fit in at a tattoo shop, but the place I've gone for both of my tattoos (and plan on returning to) is amazing. I've never felt like I'm not in the tattooed cool kids club or whatever. Everyone there is super duper nice and treats you like a friend, not just a client. If you go to a tattoo shop and you feel like there's some kind of exclusive club that you're not a part of, leave. I was soooo scared that it would be like that, but it doesn't have to be. Also, when the tattoo process starts, the artist will (or should) explain to you all the steps they are taking to sterlize and clean EVERYTHING that will touch you. They should show you that the needles are sterile, single-use, that they're using single-use wells for the inks, etc. That definitely makes you feel better. Shop around! :) You'll be glad you did.
@Stace126: I completely understand where you're coming from! lol.
1.] Have faith that you and your FI can do it. Pray to God that he will send you the answer. If it happens then it happens and it was God's will. (sorry if this is a lil churchy for ya. lol. not tryin to offend, just my opinon.)
2.] I could never do the IUD thing.. nope. not happening. I was on Yaz and I loved it. But if the pill thing isn't for you try the patch or shot even. Can't be that bad. (: I have horrible teeth, due to genes. I know what it's like to have a cavity, multiple cavities and I couldn't bear the thought of getting the IUD. Just saying. lol.
3.] I also want a tattoo, but scared of needles so I can't really help you there. But I know that your risk of getting an ifection is low if you go to a clean place. Most places generally sterlize everything once they're done and right before they start... at least the places i've been to.
Hope this helps! BTW, just 'going for it' isn't always the answer. Sometimes you need a higher power's thoughts. ;]]
@imageeksowhat: Just looking at your avatar, I'd LOVE to see larger pictures of your tattoos!
Ok op.... Take a deep breath. Now another other. Tell your so your fears and issues.... Then when you start to have doubts have himfocus on the positives of what ever it is. sit down and make a list of all the things that scare you. All if them even if you think they are silly. Then write down why you want thisstring. Start makingsmall all chnges. Like I m terrified of spiders... But when I see one I mke my self look at it for 10 - so seconds before I frek out... It helps ll
Sorydig there is Ny misspellings or odd words... I am commenting from my iphone
My point of view would be to look at both sides of the fence what are the pro's and con's for jumping the gun and doing something or not doing it. For me I tend to think what I will gain from my decision. I guess I am what you would consider tough. I have a backbone and I have no qualms about going after anything I want, as long as it makes sense to do so. The most important thing is to think logically and not to do something just because you can. For example I have thought about getting a tattoo before but I see no benefit in it for me so I decided not to get one. On the other hand I decided to go skydiving and it was one of the most amazing moments of my life. It's not fear that holds me back from things it depends on if it is a logical decision depending what I will gain from it.
Other than the IUD issue, none of the other things have anything to do with being a strong woman, as men do the same things and many times without thinking them through.
Home buying is a scary process, but maybe if you see the financial parts of it on paper you'll feel better and less afraid. If you make a list of your income and liabilities/debts and there's plenty of money left over even after savings, it sounds to me like it would be a good thing to do. If you have to borrow money just to be able to do the down payment, it might be better to wait awhile. Another opportunity will always come along, and maybe this just isn't the right time for you. Weigh the pros and cons carefully, and don't be talked in to anything that makes you uncomfortable.
I can't speak about the tatoos, as its something I never wanted to do.
IUD's are no big deal either. Some cramping and spotting and maybe even a little more bleeding than that, but it is short-lived and the easiest birth control I've ever used.
@smyley: I agree.
I think you are stronger than you think you are. All the life-changes you are facing would bring out the unsure little girl in any of us!
I thought I was strong, until I had to face so many harsh comments and people just not wanting the best for me, but wanted me to feel my worst.
Anxiety may be an issue, as it is for me, too. :/ BUT, I would encourage you to do an exercise my therapist used once. I thought it was stupid but going back and doing it later in life really helped. Any time you feel weak or vulnerable in a bad way write your feelings down on one side of a sheet of paper. Then next to these words, write descriptions of the person you are NOW or would like to become. example: fearful- I am brave. Weak- I am strong
Replacing negative thoughts about yourself with positive ones can go a long way in reinforcing a confident person that makes good decisions every day and enjoys their life!
@CarolinaCola: I can't post ALL of my tattoos because I have over 30, and over 14 very large pieces (my lower legs are almost completely tattooed) I feel like it'd take up too much space! Lol. I'll post the large pieces that are always visable, though...
Here you can clearly see the my half sleeve on my right arm by Davie Mac of Niagara Falls NY...photo by mfotography (https://www.facebook.com/MfotographyBuffalo) 
Then here's my neck tattoo, also by Davie Mac of Niagara Falls NY...photo by MacKayImages
Then the last one I'll post is my chest piece by Jon Miro of HOD in Buffalo NY. Photo by MacKayImages
There are SO MANY MORE but I don't want to take over the whole board! Lol!
Life is a rollercoaster of emotions, especially if you had the honor of being born a female. Ha ha
We all get like this from time to time. Anxiety is very common. If you feel it's really starting to overrun your life, though, you can seek therapy. Otherwise, just make the leap, like others have said. If you really want a tattoo, just do your research. Find one (or design one) that really speaks to you & get it! There are several places it could go that, even if you grew to regret it, it wouldn't be that big a deal. There are areas, too, that are likely to hurt more than others, but most aren't that bad in general.
As far as the house goes, make sure you set up all the paperwork correctly (a lawyer would come in handy here). People often think they can bypass things when they're doing business w/a relative, but that's not always the case. You wouldn't want her trying to take the house back in the event of a fallout. Just get all your ducks in a row, so to speak. I think fixing the house up could be fun. Watch some DIY shows on HGTV & get some inspiration! You can really make it your own (and save some money) if you guys do the work.
Just breeeathe. That's all you can do, really. When you're convinced things will always turn out bad, you're going to be pleasantly surprised A LOT. Try to remember that. :-)
HUGS. It's ok--strong women get scared too, I promise. The difference is just like what they say in the movies and books--being brave isn't about not being afraid--it's about doing what you have to do in spite of your fear. So many times I just take a deep breath, do something scary and then when I am done, I'll shake so hard my teeth chatter. But I *did* it.
1) My dude works as a realtor trainer so I have a good perspective on this. I cannot stress to you enough--DO NOT BUY A HOUSE YOU DON'T ABSOLUTELY, 100% WANT. Don't buy a house as a favor, don't hire a realtor as a favor. This is likely to be one of the biggest purchases you will make in your entire life. Get a realtor who is awesome and who does their due diligence, don't become emotionally invested in a house before it's been inspected and make the choice that is best for you. Consider schools your future kids will go to, the neighborhood you live in, convenience to things you need to be around. Remember that paint, landscaping, floors, kitchen and even the house layout can all be changed. Instead of thinking about it as this giant scary investment, think about it as a really cool adventure that you and your dude can do together.
2) Non hormonal IUDs definitely smart to get put in. My advice is to go get a bikini wax. Take 2 advil before you go but go get your ladyparts waxed. Just book an appointment, take a deep breath and just do it. Getting an IUD hurts less and for shorter than the wax so it shouldn't be a big deal after that. ;) You've done your research on this, you know it's going to be fine.
3) Think long and hard about your tattoo. For a first tattoo I advise getting one where you don't have to see it every day and if it's inappropriate for you to have a tattoo showing, you shouldn't be wearing clothes that show that area. Lower back, hips, butt are all good places for a first tattoo. Get something small and don't get something to represent a person unless that person is already dead. If it's small and not too crazy you'll end up just paying the shop minimum which is usually around $50. The other thing is to research your shop and artist as much as you can. Find a good place that requires an appointment in advance--those places are going to be very clean, professional and give you good follow up care instructions. If you go to a place and it seems too dirty then you need to leave. If the words "We're supposed to do this but we don't really like to" leave their mouths--leave. Ask them to show you the autoclave, make sure they wear gloves and are obnoxiously concerned about being sterile. If they are good people, they will understand your concerns and be more than happy to put your fears to rest. If they don't, leave. As for the pain, you can't take anything for it before you get tattooed. Drinking and analgesics will make you bleed more which is not good for your tattoo. Getting a tattoo definitely hurts but it's more of a low grade burning sensation--hot enough to be uncomfortable but not hot enough to feel like it's on fire. Think of a moderate to severe sunburn for the process and a shallowly scraped knee for a few days after. Follow the follow up care instructions they give you (usually A&D ointment for a few days and then Lubriderm lotion for a few weeks) and it should be fine. Bring a friend with you to keep you company--pick someone who will keep you engaged in conversation so when you're getting your ink, you won't be sitting there, focusing on the pain.
When I start to have more 'fear' about something than I feel I should - I try to figure out what I'm really scared about. That helps me process why I'm having trouble with it. Often times, my fear will be rooted in something that needs to be addressed OR I realize that it's not as bad as I think.
I also sometimes think along the lines of "What's the worst thing that can happen"... and, that helps me realize if I should take the risk or not.
If you think about it, life is all about making decisions. You could say yes or no to doing 'x', and either way you go, you are still making a decision. You decide to either remain as you are, or take a chance and go for 'x'. Often times, you can't calculate every 'what if' situation and have to make a well-informed decision and see what happens.
Thanks so much for all of the advice and support. It helps to know I'm not alone.
I DO struggle with anxiety -- I have my entire life. It runs in my family. I am on meds and I do see a therapist but I think, with so many things going on in my life, I might need to increase those things. And I REALLY want to take yoga, but haven't had the time/money recently. Hopefully sometime soon though. I do use breathing techniques, which help, but sometimes I freak out and forget. oops. 
As far as the house thing goes, I go back and forth on what I want to do. But my fiance is so thrilled about it. And the improvements have already begun, so I am starting to see the potential and feel better about the whole thing. And I do intend to talk to my parents/a lawyer as far as money and paperwork is concerned. I don't want to get screwed. I guess it doesn't help that I ... really ... cannot STAND my FMIL. Ugh. Don't even get me started. And we aren't planning on staying there long term -- maybe 5-7 years, so that we have something to sell and move on to bigger and better things. And honestly I would probably be freaking out about an apartment/townhouse or whatever no matter what. I cried when I bought my first car. It's just what I do. (the car thing worked out great though so it's not like I make dumb decisions when it comes to big stuff).
The IUD thing -- because of other health issues/family history/personal beliefs, hormonal BC is NOT right for me. I feel really good about the non-hormonal IUD except for the pain part. I just don't understand women who kinda shrug and go, "OK, put soandso in my body. Whatever!"
I guess I've been "lucky" that I haven't had any serious medical problems. I didn't even have blood drawn til I was 20!!! But my mom, who has kidney disease and is on dialysis, has been through SO MUCH medical crap and surgeries and tests and procedures it's incredible. I know she's had some wicked pain and recoveries but she never complains. She's so tough. I wish I could be like that. I try and think about her when it comes to these issues but I guess maybe I'm afraid that I won't be as tough as her??? I don't know.
For the tattoo, I want a teeny, tiny (half dollar sized) black heart with a music note in the middle. Music changed/saved my life when I was a teenager and I feel like it's a part of my heart and soul and I want to commemorate that with a symbol on my body. There is a very popular/reputable tattoo shop here in Pittsburgh that my fiance went to for his tattoo (I went with him) and it was an awesome experience. They are very clean and professional and the guy was super nice, very talented, and very helpful. When I asked him about the tattoo I wanted, he said it'd probably take him longer to set up his equipment than to actually complete the art. lol. So I'd def want him to do it but ... like I said, the worse part is the unknown.
So I'm afraid of the unknown. That's it. I guess the only way to get past that is to make it become known ...
I agree with others who say you just need to take the leap. I guess when I'm scared I think -- whats the worst thats going to happen. Like for the IUD--- you are not going to die. Seriously. The absolute worst case scenario is it hurts briefly then its done. For like 5-10 years. Even if it DOES hurt, wouldn't that be worth it to be protected for 5-10 years? And I think that doing things that scares you, and surviving them (maybe even with some measure of confidence and dignity), gives you confidence to do more and bigger scary things. But you have to just jump in at some point. You need to decide what kind of person you want to be. A weak scared person? Or a rational strong person.
From the sounds of it,the tattoo you want really represents and means somehting to you-this is good!and you have already seen the environment which is clean,open and friendly. If your still unsure about the pain, ask if you can sit and watch a few people be tattood,that way you get to see different peoples pain threshold. Also ask your tattoist what options they have for numbing cream,here in the UK we have a few creams available,one which takes off the edge and one which will pretty much numb you 90%.Some tattoists hate clients using this,but if they are good,they will have a NO problem and wont judge you for it. Take your time with it, ask as many questions as you need to,but as soon as you are 110% sure you are happy with your design/placement,book it in!
The worst part of tattoos for me is waiting for them to setup. That 5 minutes seems like a lifetime!Best advice;keep yourself busy,bring a bookmagazine or listen to some music,it helps to distract you from getting yourself too wound up!
@imageeksowhat:Wow! I love that top picture. You wear them so well!!
@Stace126: For my star tattoo, the artist said the same thing about it taking longer to set up than to actually do the tattoo. And he was right! It took all of about 5 minutes and it was over. And it felt SO GOOD when it was done. Not physically, obviously, but just finally getting a tattoo that I'd wanted for years (it actually has meaning, even though it definitely looks like a dumb, impulsive tattoo) and knowing that it wasn't that bad and that I could do it again.
@imageeksowhat: Haha. Well I'm sure they still look just as beautiful!
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| ellisrobertson | 24 |
| fishbone | 19 |
| MsPanda | 14 |
| aduarte3201 | 14 |
| ladyartichoke | 12 |
| mypinkshoes | 12 |
| pengoala | 11 |
 sylvia.riggle |
11 |
| ShellVee | 10 |
| ndreighton | 10 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| sylvia.riggle |
5 |
| peachacid | 4 |
| smcs28 | 3 |
| Zouave | 3 |
| armychica06 | 2 |
| imageeksowhat | 2 |
| HollyCJ | 2 |
| BellaDee | 2 |
| Snoopadoop | 2 |
| zippylef | 1 |
....I need advice on how to become tough. Well, brave actually.
I'd like to think I'm a lot tougher emotionally than I have been in the past, but I have a lot of serious fears about some pretty important stuff and I really need advice on how to face these fears. The most obvious answer is to "just do it" but recently I've gotten so freaked out about some of this stuff that I just refuse to even talk about it. I just get all panicky and hyperventilate and lock myself in my room and cry or take a nap or read until I stop thinking about it ... until the subject comes up again.
I want to be able to just "woman up" and face the following:
1) Buying a house. My fiance & I are pretty sure we're going to buy his mom's house b/c she wants to move into an apartment. But it needs a lot of work and there's the whole MIL issue plus it's a huge financial investment and I've never done anything like this and it PETRIFIES me ... other times it really makes me excited but ... then I let the fear get in the way of my excitement.
2) Fiance & I have been talking about a non-hormonal IUD as birth control for, like, a year. This would prob be the best option for us for multiple reasons, but honestly I am so terrified of getting one put in I can barely think about it. I've talked to dozens of people (even professionals) so I know the risks, the process, and that there's some pain involved, but I'm so afraid of how MUCH it's going to hurt that I can bring myself to commit to it. I'm terrified I'm going to be screaming and crying like a baby and they won't be able to insert it. (you're talking to a girl who's never even had a cavity, so I really have no clue about pain or what my threshold is).
3) I have wanted a tattoo for YEARS, but I am SO afraid to get one. I'm afraid of the pain, spending the money, what if I get an infection, what if I regret it, etc, etc, etc.
UGH. I know I need to "just do it" to face these fears but ... HOW do I do that???