Post # 1
My fiance would like to have an auf ruf, but I’ve never seen one before. For those who have had them or are in the process of planning one, can you share your experiences? Was it a Friday night or a Saturday morning? Same weekend as the wedding or the weekend before? Were you called for an aliyah or was it more of a rabbi calling you up to bless you or something different? Did you have a kiddush after? Did any of you have an auf ruf in a non-synagogue location?
Post # 3
We had one at DH’s Synagogue and his family is moderate Orthodox (of there is such a thing). We had it on a Saturday morning a few weekends before the wedding, which was when both families were available. My DH, the males in his family and mine were called for Aliyahs. We were never called for a blessing on the Bimah, but the Rabbi talked about us in his sermon and the congregation did a group blessing. We had a kiddush brunch at the Shul which was sponsored by our grandparents after.
My brother had his aur ruf in our Reform Temple on a Friday night. It is a large congregation and services are fairly structured and there are no aliyahs. He and my SIL along with two other couples were called to the Bimah near the end of the service and they were blessed by the Rabbis. We went out to dinner as a family afterwards.
I’m fairly certain that most aur rufs take place during Shabbat services, so I don’t think they are done in non-synagogue locations.
That’s the extent of my knowledge on the subject 🙂
Post # 4
We’re planning on having ours 2 weekends before our wedding, but our rabbi said it could be earlier or later than that. We’re conservative, so ours will be a little different than PP’s experience. Both FI and I will be called up for an Aliyah. The rabbi said I can choose to say it too or just stand next to FI while he says it (and he only said this when I expressed nervousness, not because I’m female). It’ll be a Saturday morning at the synagogue during services. That’s all I really know, other than people throw candy at you, so be prepared for that, hehe.
Our synagogue’s website has how-to videos for an Aliyah. I don’t know if that would help, depending on how your rabbi does things, but feel free to PM me if you’d like the link.
Good luck 🙂
Post # 5
We had one the Friday night before our Sunday wedding. It was nice, our families went to dinner before and then everybody went to services. Rabbi just called us up for a blessing, we didn’t have to say or do anything but stand up there for a few minutes.
Post # 6
Thanks for sharing your experiences! I think FI had only ever seen a Saturday one with aliyah, but the synagogue we’re working with said that it would be a Friday night – so it’s great to hear from you about it and how it went.
Post # 7
I’ve seen them at my parents’ synagogue and they are lovely. Theirs is reform. The couple goes up and gets a special blessing and a flower for the groom and a little thing (mezuzah? candle holder? i don’t remember!) for the bride.
Then everyone sings. It’s sweet, but *very* short.