FI and I have been engaged for months, however we didnt announce it til yesterday due to so many people on his side and my side getting engaged, getting married and going through divorces.So after months of waiting so we dont steal anyones thunder we announced to the rest of the family and our friends our engagement on FB. We are a military family and with most of our friends spread out over the country and deployed we thought it was a good way to get in touch with everyone. Of course his parents knew as did my mother and siblings.
FI's niece married just two weeks ago, his cousin two weeks before that, my sister a month ago, and our friends wedding was in between all that. So we held our tongues so that we wouldnt step on anyones toes.
.NOW THE CRAPPY PART.
My 55 year old aunt who just last week called me a muslim loving socialist announced her engagement the same day. SHE ISNT EVEN DATING ANYONE!!!! I asked her daughter whats with that, and she said her mother doesnt like anyone to have any attention and she is still mad at me cause I hid her feed on FB because of all the political comments she made and what she said to me.
So she decided to get engaged to herself and even went out last night and bought a ring and posted a pic of it on facebook. She lives in another state so the family doesnt see her that often or know if she is dating or not, but now she is being congratulated along with me on our engagements. Everyone keeps mentioning that its sso wonderful that we share an actual engagement date.
Its crap. I know it sounds selfish but I have never shared anything major in my life and this one time, she has to do this out of spite.
I know its not rational but its childish for her to do this and because everyone keeps mentioning two brides, it bothers me.
Sorry for the rant.
@TexasSpringBride: Your aunt sounds crazy. I'd just ignore someone like that. I'm sure she's not stealing your thunder aside from people worrying about her mental health.
I don't really believe in waiting to get engaged/annouce engagements because of other people... but if she really invented a relationship just to steal your thunder, that's ridiculous and I'm sorry you're dealing with it. Ultimately, it's kinda funny and REALLY pathetic, though... don't you just feel sorry for her that she's that damn lonely and crazy? She'll be the one who looks odd in the end, when there's no wedding, and one has ever met or even seen the guy. Its unfortunte that family would do this, but just feel sorry for her, ignore her, and enjoy your engagement.
She got engaged to herself? And people are taking that seriously? What? Huh?
So many questions. Congratulations on your REAL engagement. Your aunt's nonsense will fade away.
haha she got engaged to herself. she sounds insane. try to ignore her
Congrats on your engagement!!!
I'm sorry to say it like that, but your aunt sound like she has some emotional/mental issues. If people are taking her seriously, oh well. You know she is "crazy". How sad that she is so immature, attention-seeking, and bratty at her age.
Try your best not to get wrapped up in her drama.
How does she know you hid her news feed? Facebook doesn't "tell" those kind of changes.... so the only way she would know is if you told her, or posted that you made an update. You can unfriend someone, or block them.... and facebook doesn't announce that kind of thing......
I'm not really sure why you are still friends with her on FB anyway, as you indicate she has called you names. Why stay FB friends at all with someone who creates drama?
You know I wanted to announce my engagement months ago, but I kept reading the boards about being considerate of others. For the last 3 months we have been to a wedding almost every week amongst our close friends and family. Then last week my cousin announced her engagement and this will be her third wedding. So FI said you know we have waited on everyone else.
Lets just get it out there because soon we need to start sending save the dates to people, especially if we are trying to marry in the spring. Luckily not a huge affair so not much planning to do.
I was just trying to be considerate of everyone and now the one time I should be happy, Im angry that she is being so childish.
Yeah. She just sounds crazy, literally, and I feel sorry for her. People will realize she's not actually engaged sooner rather than later. Carry on & do your best to ignore her... she sounds like a troubled person.
Wow... she's craaaazy.
They'll see through it, relax. Start posting public messages on her wall asking when her wedding date is (since you don't want to plan yours too close), what colors she's using (since you don't want to copy!), what sort of flowers and invitations she's considering. I wonder if she'll plan a whole fake wedding?!
I mean, really...
In any case, congratulations!! Just keep your plans to yourself. Check with your close family members when you set a date, and keep it to yourself until you send save-the-dates or invitations.
@3xaCharm: Her daughter told her that I hid it because she was being offensive.I would love to block her completely but she is my mothers only living sister. Her other sister passed away last year along with two of my mothers brothers.
My mother says to just ignore her. Any other time I can, but considering that her own daughter said she did this out of spite, really hurts me.
She didn't steal the engagement date because she's not engaged. I'd be super sweet to her.
"OMG I'm so excited for you! Did anyone take a pic of the proposal? Where's a picture of the mystery man???"
"Ooooh where did he get the ring from? How long have you guys been dating? I wanna see a picture of you two together! How did he propose? I'm just so excited for you!"
Why is it that everyone has a crazy aunt?!
Everyone is already doing that because this is a shock to them. Nothing from her. She just keeps posting pics of the ring and saying she is engaged. One of her friends commented she didnt even know she was dating someone let alone serious enough to get engaged.
Im thinking she is gonna say she is engaged to Jacque,,,her dog.
wow I came into this expecting another post of someone who thinks no one should get engaged during their engagement year....but WOW. OP that is awful! She sounds like a bitter miserable woman if she can't allow you some time to be happy without stealing the thunder for no reason at all! She sounds absolutely toxic. Try to pay her no mind. Congrats on your engagement, and I hope you can still enjoy this exciting time in your life despite this witch!
Wow. She sounds like a crazy person. Kuddos to you for being so considerate of others. I don't think I would be able to hold in such happy news for so long. I would ignore your aunt and just keep planning your wedding.
Time to delete wacky aunt from FB...and don't tell anyone! You know you can make your friend list private so that no one knows how many and who you are friends with on FB, right?
I don't think "crazy" covers it... Not sure if you're a Glee fan or not, but that definitely sounds like a Sue Sylvester move (the show's "villan")!
I'm sorry she's trying to ruin your special moment, but I think you should focus on how happy you and your FI are sharing this time together; because clearly this woman is so miserable she thinks it's ok to try and drag people down to her level of unhappiness. The best thing you could do is to be happy in spite of all her efforts. She's not worth the energy of getting upset. Let her enjoy her own little miserable world, and don't give her the satisfaction of disrupting yours.
FI and I have tried to be so considerate of everyone else. We waited til all engagements, wedding and divorces were out of the way. We shared only with our parents and our siblings because we didnt want to steal anyone elses thunder.
I just cant believe she is acting so freakin crazy all because I didnt vote the way she thought I should vote in the election.
Just wait until she ifnally has to break the news that she isn't. It won't affect your engagement at all, but it will shut her up. Sorry your aunt is so crazy. :(
@TexasSpringBride: OMG OMG OMG take that and go with it. Jokingly say "Hmmm I see rings, but no man. Did Jacques propose? What a sweet puppy!"
Wow, do we have the same family? AKA batshit crazy? They live in Texas, and they are a herd of drama llamas. And you know how flat Texas is...you can see them roaming from 50 miles away, bleating:
"DRAMA?! DRAMA?! DRAAAAMMMAAA??!!"
Ditto everyone else. She sounds delusional. I actually laughed when I read your post. Just go with it :)
@Torrid: LOL...I live in Texas...she lives in Florida. Yeah it seems like there is always drama out of her. She got ticked off because people in the family didnt vote the way she did. My grandmother isnt even speaking to her and she made her own daughter so miserable that her daughter is actually moving out of Florida next month to get away from her.
Your aunt is a nutter. I think you should just ignore her, and also get past the whole concept of "stealing thunder" because with even a small family, there will always be something going on. You get engaged, your cousin graduates, your nephew gets deployed, your friend has a baby. That's just how life goes. It's absolutely possible for someone to be happy for your engagement at the same time that they're happy for another friend's new baby or anxious for someone's deployment, and you should give your friends and family more credit than to worry that you won't get your share of attention. Plan your life to your own schedule and don't worry about conflicting with someone else's; be a gracious person when the spotlight is on you, and be gracious when the spotlight moves to someone else.
And tell your whackjob aunt to get some tinfoil for her hat.
@TexasSpringBride: As soon as people figure out that there IS no mystery man, they are all gonna think she's mental. I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of people figure out that she did it to grab attention from you. It is so desperate. Just pity her. But have a good laugh first .
My cousin just texted me. Now my aunt has a picture of a wedding dress on her facebook page. She still isnt answering questions about who the lucky guy is but now she is posting pics of a wedding dress.
Your aunt sounds crazy.
When I announced my engagement, my sister had announced her divorce a month or so before and my other sister had recently been having marital trouble herself. I almost waited to tell anyone, but finally decided it might be nice to have something positive to focus on, so I told them. When we all got together for a celebratory dinner the next day, all anyone could do was talk about the divorce. When my sister got up to excuse herself for a minute, I thought "Finally, we can talk about the wedding without anyone thinking they will make Sister feel bad!"
After she was out of the room, my grandma looks over at me and my new FI and says "Did you know they were so unhappy? I had no idea..."
So though it sucks, families can be really weird about engagements. I am hoping it makes you feel better to know you're not alone; that there's at least one other person who had her big news kind of pooped on. People usually come to their senses eventually, and surely your family knows how she is. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but if she really isnt even dating anyone, then it'll come out in the wash when you're the only one who ends up with a husband. She may be trying to ruin your day, but the thought that you win this one by default even if you never say a word should make you feel better. She will be found out soon enough.
@TexasSpringBride: Man, that's some skill when you can make your own daughter want to get away from you! Well, I'm truly sorry your aunt sucks. I hope she realizes how much of a troll she is when she's left all alone.
I know the feeling of sucky aunts that don't like you! One of my aunts hit me in the face once when I was a kid because she was jealous of the time I was spending with my grandmother! Needless to say, that relationship went to shit. BEWARE OF DALLAS/KEMP, TX. D:
@TexasSpringBride: Wow, can I FB friend her just to look at the wacky posts and pics? :-p
@fishbone: You are right but I had heard so many stories on the bee of people getting engaged to have others get engaged just so they could have some attention. FI and I didnt want that. His niece married and then my sister and then cousins and friends and then there were deployments and so we waited. Then last week my cousin announced her engagement. This is her sixth engagement and her third marriage and FI said if we keep waiting then we will never get it announced.
So we thought it being Veterans Day, and I am a veteran and he is currently in the army would be a good time to slip it in there,.
I have to agree with the others who are saying to just ignore her. If your aunt wants to act this ridiculous and crazy, don't feed into her attention-seeking behavior--just say "congratulations" and then leave the whole thing alone. Focus on your own (real) wedding and everyone will eventually realize that your aunt was only making hers up, and then she will have to deal with the consequences (such as public embarrassment) for her lies while you get to enjoy your wedding. I wouldn't make fun of her or join in on the shaming that's going to happen because I wouldn't want any hand in anything that could possibly make her worse than she already is.
You know that the woman MUST have something seriously wrong with her for her to do what she's doing. You mentioned that she's lost all her siblings besides your mother. Perhaps that caused her to snap. My mother-in-law also lost all four of her brothers (not to mention her daughter and grandson as well), and believe me, it's HARD on a person. She doesn't behave like your aunt (thankfully) but she has also never dealt with the loss of her family in a healthy way and I can see how it affects her. I'm in no way defending what your aunt is doing, I'm just saying that there might be mental health issues at work here. Quite frankly, I feel sorry for the both of you--sorry for you for having to put up with her and sorry for her because what she's doing is just so incredibly pathetic... lying is one thing, but actually going to the extreme of buying herself a ring? There's something wrong with this poor woman for sure.
By the way, I do have a mentally ill aunt myself, and while she's never done anything like what your aunt is doing, she's extreme in other ways (ie. she calls my grandmother every day threatening to commit suicide). Sure, there are times when I'd like to get mad at her, especially for the way she upsets my poor grandmother, but it's a mental health issue and it's not going to change, so I can't change her behavior, I can only change my reaction to it. I don't let her upset me and I just continue treating her the same way I always did.
Girl, just laugh it off. She is obviously a sad, bitter old woman who needs mental help. Like @LadyBunnylot said, once people realize that she's not actually engaged/dating anyone/bought a ring for herself/bought a dress...they're going to think she's fucking crazy.
@EffieTrinket: You are so right. You cant control everything. I just get upset because now the family is congratulating us both on her page and my page.
My uncle who is a minister said we could have a double wedding. As if????? I cant stand to have her on facebook let alone be in the same room with her.
Holy shit, she's cray-cray.
Sorry this happened and you feel like you lost some of the spotlight, but dang, this makes for some good entertainment, yes? I'd want to delete and block her for her low move, but I'd be tempted to keep her on just to see what other shenanigans she comes up with! A ring, and now a dress?! And no man. Crazy.
Just enjoy your special time. Everyone will know you're the glowing bride and your aunt is off her rocker!
@vorpalette: once people realize that she's not actually engaged/dating anyone/bought a ring for herself/bought a dress...they're going to think she's fucking crazy.
And family or not, I'd delete her. She's obviously a toxic person. Who needs that in their lives?
@peachacid: lol There really is one in every family!
@MoonlightRose: She didnt lose all her siblings. My mother is the oldest of 8. They lost their baby sister to a car accident, and two brothers to cancer. There are still three other siblings left besides her and my mom.
She actually blamed her baby sister for getting killed and wouldnt even come to the funeral because she didnt get to pick the outfit my aunt wore in the casket. Of course we all thought this was grief talking.
She really was upset about losing her two brothers. My uncles were really nice guys and she was their favorites. I just dont understand acting this childish at 55. She isnt mentally unstable she just doesnt give a damn who she runs over.
I am sorry, but I think you should find this hysterical. She is beyond crazy! You have a loving relationship and are engaged to an ACTUAL person!
She is so bat$hit crazy that she has to BUY HERSELF a ring and makeup a relationship because of you!
What she MIGHT do is invite people to her "wedding" on the same day as you.... so I would try to figure out how to avoid that. You should just tell the family (or have her daughter tell them) what is going on.
And DO NOT invite her to your wedding!
Congrats on being engaged to a real person! I hope you have an AMAZING time planning your real wedding! ;)
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