My aunt is upset that we're not attending cousin's wedding!!

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

My brother had a similar issue happen during his wedding. My SIL’s parent were paying for their wedding and didn’t give my mother much say in who was invited. So my father’s brother and his wife did not get an invitation but other members of the family did. Their reason behind this was because my uncle does not come to any family events and my SIL had never met them (which is true). But because they did not get an invite the rest of my father’s side did not come. They took offense to it and rightfully so. There was definitely some drama about it all but since my SIL’s parents were paying for the entire wedding my mom did not get much say.

Now that I am getting married and my mom is in charge, we have every intention of inviting all family and guests of theirs. We don’t want to deal with the drama like before. So let your aunt deal with the drama, don’t go if you feel it isn’t right what they are doing. And when it comes to your big day, just learn from their mistakes and don’t limit your family and the people you love from your guests list no matter what.

Post # 3
Member
2275 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

It wouldn’t be the end of the world if it was just your SO that wasn’t invited because after all, they probably don’t know him that well & would rather use his spot for somebody closer (not that I agree with this thinking, but I could probably get passed this), but the fact that certain FAMILY members aren’t even invited really rubs me the wrong way.

Post # 4
Member
6000 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

I just find it very odd that only the woman are invited. She tried to use the “didn’t think guys would want to come anyways” excuse, but we all know that’s bullshit. It’s just so weird that even your grandfather who is blood related to the bride isn’t invited. I’m sure he feels super loved right about now.

If you really want to go, just go. However, if it were me I wouldn’t want to attend. Not because I can’t attend a wedding without my husband, but because I find it very rude to not allow someone’s husband or fiance to go but someone’s boyfriend is invited. Sounds like the bride doesn’t really care about you, your grandmother (who I’m guessing is her great grandmother?), or your mother and is playing favorites with her other cousins.

Post # 5
Member
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

It is total bullshit and I wouldn’t go either if my fi, father or grandfather were not invited. Your aunt said about hating seeing broken family… We’ll they caused it.

Post # 6
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

countrygirl91: ugh. I feel for you. My cousin did something similar at her wedding and it’s affected our relationship. She had said that it was family and close friends only but invited some 2nd cousin’s boyfriend. 

Decide what you want to do, but FB invites and not having grandpa is just strange. 

Post # 8
Member
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Its odd that having a vagina is the ticket into your cousin’s wedding.

Post # 9
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

The whole affair sounds rather haphazardly organised to put it mildly. Who sends Facebook invitations for starters? Also, it is ridiculous to say that the men wouldn’t want to go anyway! I’m not a stickler for outdated etiquette and sure, there are occasions when +1s are not issued. However, that’s not the same as simply ruling out the whole male gender from one side of the family regardless of their relationship to the invited women!

What I would say, OP, is that if you do attend this wedding you don’t compound their rudeness by handing out a “bitchy response” to anyone unfortunate enough to ask where your SO is. That just stoops to their level. Personally, I’d stay well clear of the whole thing. It has the makings of an episode of Jeremy Kyle (or for US readers, Jerry Stringer).

Post # 10
Member
4025 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

countrygirl91:  This sounds horribly put together. I wouldn’t attend either if my DH wasn’t invited, but especially wouldn’t attend if family members were left out. That’s just plain rude and there is no excuse for that level of rudeness. If you do decide to go, don’t stoop to their level. Doing so will reflect negatively on you. Let them take the spotlight for their rudeness. I’m not even sure what I’d suggest you say if someone asked where your fiance was…hmmm.

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