Post # 1
My aunt got divorced a year or so ago, started dating a new guy the end of July and will probably be engaged before I do! She and her bf looked at rings the other day and are pretty serious sounding. I’ve been with my bf since march and I was hoping I’d be engaged before her so this is really bumming me out. I know I should be happy for her but I’m worried about her “stealing my thunder” advice bees?
Post # 3
@S_loves_C: When you say March. You mean March 2013?
Post # 4
@KingsDaughter: +1…you’ve only been together for a few months? If so it seems unlikely that you’ll be engaged soon (of course, I don’t know your particular circumstance, just regular statistics).
In any case, it’s not a competition between you and your aunt and I’m sure there is plenty of “thunder” to go around. On the bright side, it’ll give you someone to talk about wedding stuff with!
Post # 5
@S_loves_C: It sounds like you are both rushing, neither of you have been with your boyfriends more than 6 months. It is not a race.
Post # 6
@S_loves_C: I agree, it isn’t a race. But when you’re waiting it can definitely be hard to watch other people get engaged and married before you.
I met my now husband in September, and started dating officially in December. We were engaged the next December and married in May (which is fast for many, but fairly slow for our community). My aunt (also divorced) met her now husband in January (after my husband and I started dating, we introduced them to the family at the same gathering, ugh) and immediately began dating, they were engaged in February and Married in April. I knew we weren’t getting engaged that soon, but I still felt like them being engaged and barely knowing each other (in my petty opinion), was raining on my relationship seriousness. It was lame while it was happened, but now that it’s passed I realize that I was wasting energy I could have spent on something construtive being grumpy about something I couldn’t control.
Don’t worry, it’ll all be ok. You and your bf will have your special time and other people having special times doesn’t take away from yours. I hope you feel better soon!
Post # 7
This sounds petty to me and it sounds like you’re jealous. No one is stealing anyone’s Thunder, have you two even discussed marriage, looked at rings etc yet?
Post # 8
@MsCarabiner: you understand exactly how I feell! My aunt barely dating this guy for two months and being that serious definately makes it seem like me and my guy should be ahead after 6 months of knowing we are the one for each other. thanks for the insight! 🙂
@asianbarbie: ummm I thought the whole point if the waiting boards were to vent about this kind of thing and encourage each other?? I already have a ring I’ve loved for years since my dads a jeweler so we haven’t gone together but he’s asked to see the ring.
We’ve also been talking about getting married since only a month in, we just knew.Ladies it’s hard when Im thinking we will be the first wedding in my family in 10 years and the holiday season engagement to have this come out of the blue. :/
Post # 9
@S_loves_C: Relax. When it comes to older people and 2nd marriages, it’s often a lot quicker. There is lots of happiness to go around, and no thunder to steal. If you do happen to get engaged close together, people will be happy for both of you.
Post # 10
@S_loves_C: I agree with others who’ve said that it isn’t a race, but I also know that when you’re waiting, it can be tough to see other people get engaged. I never really waited for an engagement, but FH and I have been engaged for nearly 3 years. In that time I’ve watched, and been jealous of, people who got engaged after us got married before us. I know that would happen because of how long our engagement was, and I know it was petty, but that’s just emotions and they happen. I also agree that sometimes second marriages among older people tend to move a little quicker.
If you both end up engaged around the same time, people are going to be happy for you too and your aunt won’t steal your thunder.
Post # 11
Your right, after six months your guy has not jumped on it. I am sorry, it does not seem that he is interested in marriage at this time. You should cut your losses now and move on with someone who wants to marry you.
Post # 12
S_loves_C to vent yes encouragement yes, but there are situations like this one where honesty is better lying to a bee. Like other’s and I have said relax. no one is stealing anyone’s thunder, there are lots of people who get married, you don’t own your wedding day, or the day you get engaged, thinking otherwise show’s jealousy.
Post # 13
sorry to hear you’re feeling blue. it’s really hard to see others around you getting engaged when it’s what you want. my SO and I have been together over 3 years and my dad comes along and is engaged after being with his GF 6 months. remember the older you are the less time you wait. 6months is really not very long so try to relax and enjoy the relationship for the now, the first year is fun! 🙂
Post # 14
The longer you are with someone the happier everyone around you will be when you actually do get engaged.
Don’t sweat it, just use her wedding to see what you should and shouldn’t do.
Plus, she is your aunt, and it is her 2nd wedding, so it is pretty common for it to happen before yours.
Post # 15
Thanks for the positive responses, I feel better after venting 🙂 youre right, she’s in her 30s and I’m in my young 20s, things do happen faster when you’ve been married before and really know what you want I’m sure. I didn’t really think of it that way before, I was just shocked at the news haha.
@SouthernGirl:What’s weird is I honestly don’t mind if she gets Married first as I do want a longish engagement (hoping to be married summer 2015) I was just so set in my mind that I’d be the next in the family engaged (brothers in hs, so are cousins, other aunts are married, this aunt just getting in a relationship..)
Post # 16
Yeah, never read about the enagement race before either! Yoú’ve been together since march this year, so that’s half a year? In my opinion it’s a bit early for an engagement.
Do not compare yourself with your aunt. She’s divorced and from a different generation. When getting older, people make these decisions a bit earlier. Don’t know how to explain this in a few lines but life and the world looks different when you’re over 40 compared to your earlies 20’s