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This morning on the radio they were talking about what the average cost of being a bridesmaid is. They were saying that the average that they'd read in an article (I have no idea which one) was $1700 dollars!
I know it depends a lot on whether they have to travel for the wedding or not, etc. but that seemed high to me! There were some people calling in who said that they spent closer to $3k being a bridesmaid in just one wedding!
They were including costs like airfare, bachelorette, bridal shower, dress, grooming (hair, nails, makeup, spray tan, etc.), shoes....
If you've been a bridesmaid before did you find that you paid close to that number? How much do you think your bridesmaids are spending/spent to be in your wedding?
I spent around $1500 for the wedding I was in last year. My dress alone was $500 with alterations plus I had to buy a speciality bra for it, plus shoes, hair, makeup, wedding gift, shower gift, contrbuition for the shower and car rental to get there. It was crazy.
I hope my girls didn't get near that number for mine, I worked really hard to keep costs down, found great deals on the dresses (most expensive was $120) and had the shower at a family member's house so they didn't need to rent a venue.
5-6 hundred and a piece of my soul for one that was 3 hours away.
and 3-4 hundred (i got to keep my soul for that one :P) for one that was closer to wear I live.
I would NEVER pay over 1,000 to be in a wedding. That is ridiculous, for where I live anyway.
It always depends on where you live, where it is, how much people can afford.
I spent about $2k to be in my cousin's wedding. I wasn't very happy about it and felt that there were definitely ways she could have kept costs down, but I just smiled and went along with everything.
WHHHHAAAAATTTT???!! no fing way! my girls would KILL me...and i would never expect them to spend that much!! Dresses were $150, shoes $40, makeup (if they dont do it themselves) $75, Pitching on bachlorette party and bridal shower $100 each, hair styling $70. everything else i am covering!
I think it is selfish to ask anyone to spend that much on a wedding is selfish!!
Yeah I definitely spent over $1000 in the last wedding I was in.
First there was the dress, plus alterations.
Then there was the shower which I helped pay for and then gave a gift for.
The bachelorette party which meant paying for the bride's drinks, plus my drinks and food all weekend, plus a small gift and the cost of splitting the hotel.
Then there was the day of the wedding, I paid for my hair, a hotel room and her wedding gift.
Add in the cost of traveling to where she lives 3 separate times for each event and it's deff over $1,000.
I just tried to calc it and my MOH spent at least that much (more like 2k)
Gift for engagement party, Flight/Gift for shower, Invites/Flight/Hotel/Favors for bachelorette, Dress/Alterations/Flight/Hotel/Hair/Make-up/Gift for wedding
Love that girl. She even flew to NYC to go dress shopping with me.
I spent about $1200 a few years ago. But this includes shower and wedding gifts too.
I was lucky, I didn't have to travel too far and the brides mom paid for a large portion of the shower. The bachelorette is what killed me.....
About 10 years ago I was a bridesmaid in a wedding and paid NOTHING. It was local so I had no travel expenses, and the bride paid for our dresses, shoes, hair, make-up, etc. We got them a wedding gift, but I don't count that because we would have done that anyway.
I am making an effort to keep my bridesmaids' expenses under $200 (except for travel for the 1 OOT girl). Anything over that I will cover for them myself.
@MrsStrawberry24: She didn't ask me to spend that much. All she asked for was the dress/alterations/hair. Everything else I paid for because I love her and wanted her to have an awesome shower/bachelorette party/wedding. :)
I think that travel makes a HUGE difference. I've never been a bridesmaid before (first of my friends to get married and oldest daughter) but I was trying to calculate what my BMs probably ended up paying…
It came out to $250 for dress including alterations, none of them spent over $50 for shoes, I provided jewelry, $70 for hair and makeup (I told them this was optional, one decided to do her own), $35 for nails (again, totally optional), I think they all spent around $50 for my shower and $150 for the bachelorette weekend. None of them had to travel far (there was probably a little gas money but not a lot). It definitely adds up with all of the little things. Obviously idk how much they spent on things like spanx, etc. The good part is that some of it is over the course of a few months, not all at once.
Breakdown for my bridesmaids:
$180-dress
?-shoes, I just said wear a pair of black shoes, some bought new, some wore what they had
$50-hair if they chose to do it, and I gave them all a girft certificate to the salon as part as their gift
$100 hotel-they split a room for two nights.
They all went it on a large gift that I believe was about $50 a person?
Approximately $1600. This includes dress, undergarments (bought a special bra), shoes, jewelry, hair, make-up, nails, travel, hotel, bachelorette party, shower gifts, wedding gifts. I feel like I'm forgetting something though.
My bridesmaids:
$150 dress
$0 shoes- they already all had shoes
$0 hotels
flights- they were already coming to my wedding
$0 bachelorette/shower- they didn't throw me one
present- they were already gifting me a present.
Hair/makeup- they're doing their own.
I've spent $2000 and I've spent $400. It really depends.
If you add in all the bells and whistles...
This is stresssing me!! I really don't want to make my girls spend that much but I guess I forgot how quickly things like shoes, hair, makup, flights etc add up. But someone made a good point that while the travel is a cost they would come to my wedding anyway even if they weren't a BM so it's hard to define....
I'm hoping to be able to let them wear their own shoes and give them the hair/makup as part of their gift to help defray costs....
I'm allowing my BMs to choose their own dress in black. Any kind of cocktail length dress, not a "bridesmaids" dress. Any type of shoes/jewelry. Hair and make-up is optional. No nail polish requirements - they can wear whatever color or no color. There is no way I'm making mine spend the kind of money I had to spend when I was a bridesmaid.
The last wedding I was in cost me about $1500, ( and 2 days off from work).
THis included the dress plus alterations, shoes, hair and makeup, nails, engagement gift, shower gift, destimation bachelorette party for the weekend in Vegas where we all split the bride's costs, wedding gift, hotel for 2 nights for the wedding, (which was about 1.5 hours away from home) and like I said, 2 days off from work.
I think (hope) my girls spent a lot less for my wedding as I really worked hard at keeping the costs down for them.
@lauramich: I'm thinking the same thing, but the costs sneak up anyways.
Most BM's will buy a new black dress, undergarments and shoes. They know they'll be in your pictures for a lifetime and they want to look their best too. Some will probably get their nails and hair done too. Plus what about shower, travel, bachelorette and gifts?
Unfortunetly...it all adds up. It's just part of being a bridesmaid.
Wow. I think my BM, exscluding my sister who lives out of state and is driving down so gas is expensive, are spending less than $500. The dresses were between $100-120. They can wear any black shoes they have, so none there, doing their own hair and make up, I bought them jewlery, two different friends hosted my showers so they didn't pay for that. The only other thing are bachalorette party/ panty party but they are doing those on the cheap. I don't know if they are getting me a shower present or not.
I cannot fathom spending thousands to be in a wedding. Can't do it. I love my friends but if I am paying that much money for dresses and such, then their present is going to be a $5 dishtowel cause I would be totally broke.
I've never been a BM, but I can promise my girls that it will not cost them that much to be a part of my special day. :)
As not a MOH (I live across country)
~$600+ on airfare
~$50 on shower gift plus 30 hours (scrap book)
~$230 on dress and alterations
~$150 on wedding present (bottles of wine for firsts)
~$40 for mani pedi
~$50 for food for shower (we did a simple one, each of the 5 women brought dishes and decorations to my moms place)
I didnt go to bachlorette or hat would easily have been another $300, not including airfare.
I didnt stay in the hotel since my parents were invited and could drive me home. or that would have been another $150
EDIT: yes and 3 days off of work.
@Running Elley: Travel really does make a big difference. One of my BMs lived in London. Short of her saying "No" or paddling to Florida it was never going to be cheap for her.
The dress was $115, I didn't specify shoes or jewelry and Hair/Make-up was $65 (and optional)
I paid about $1600 for the last wedding I was in!! That's crazy expensive! I plan to NOT do that when I get married.
My costs have ranged from $1000 - $2000, and I never travelled for any of them.
Dress + Alterations: $60-400
Shoes: $0 - 100
Makeup: always done myself
Hair: $100 (can't remember, that's probably high)
Showers: $0-400
Gifts (wedding, shower, bachelorette): $500-ish
Bachelorette Parties: $300-$500
Ways to cut costs, IMO:
*pick dresses from department stores that don't need alterations. I've found every bridesmaid dress (from a bridal shop) requires some sort of alteration and wasn't designed to be wear-ready
*let them wear their own shoes - pick a color and let it go (my favorite is when the color was black - everyone has pairs of cute black heels and it's not a hard color to find or match)
*don't demand hair or makeup to be done - although, most people want to look their best and will get it done. I think this would be an awesome bridal gift (instead of jewelry or some token they'd never use again).
My 'bridal party' saved on attire and alterations, because I didn't require them to buy anything. But the girls ended up buying new dress and shoes (I didn't ask them to)- but at least they were ones they loved and would wear again for sure. They threw me the most outrageous bridal shower - and each spent $4-500 on it... and maybe another $100 for a bachelorette dinner together...
I think that a lot of the expenses that charts and articles talk about are things you'll have to pay just to come to a wedding. Most guests will have to pay for travel and get a gift, and I know a lot of women get new dresses/shoes/etc. for a wedding even when they're not in the bridal party. If you're close to the bride, you'll very likely go to her bridal shower and bachelorette party even if you're not a bridesmaid.
My bridesmaids paid nowhere near that much.
Dress: $150, including alterations
Shoes: They could wear any black shoes they already had or buy new ones if they chose.
Hair (optional): $50
Makeup (optional): $65
I gave them jewlery as part of their gifts. So for attire/beauty, the cost could be as low as $150 or as high as $350 if they chose.
Even with shower, presents, and bachelorette, I can't see the costs being any more than $500 tops, but likely much closer to $300 total.
I tried really hard to keep costs down for my bridesmaids. I've never been a BM, but last year when my FI was a GM it cost well over 1k.
My girls are paing 100 for the dress, no alterations, 35 for hair, 0 for makeup (i am paying), and between 50-80 for shoes that they picked themselves. I bought them earrings to wear. The hotel the night of the wedding is 95, and I'm not sure how much they paid for my bachelorette. So I guess it's around $300-$400 each.
@Jeannine @ Small Chic: I love that chart!
I have to say, being a BM is definitely pricier than I originally thought! My first time will be for my good friend's wedding a few weeks before ours and with all the upcoming expenses.. I just had NO idea how much it adds up to. I'd say in the end I will be spending around $1200+.
That sounds like way too much. Then again, I've heard the average price of weddings is somewhere between $20,000 and $40,000... I'm hoping to come in around $8000-$9000... Though it totally depends on where the reception is, how many guests, how much of it is DIY, whether or not there will be an engagement party, shower, rehearsal dinner, expensive bachelorette... There are SO many factors that can totally change the cost.
I don't plan on having any pre-wedding parties (except maybe a rehearsal shindig), and I'll try to keep costs low wherever I can. I would hate to be expected to fork out over $1000 on a friend's wedding, so I would definitely not make them do it!
Wow...I cannot believe how much you guys have spent being BMs! I don't think I have *ever* spent more than $200...maybe a little more one when I was the MOH.
If someone asked me to be in her wedding and was expecting me to spend close to even $1000 (with the possible exception of travel expenses that were unavoidable,) I would simply decline, as I am not friends with people who would expect their friends to throw that much much around for "their day." But, I'm pretty sure that I'm not friends with anyone who would excpect something like that...
My girls have it easy! Their hair, makeup, shoes, and jewelry are DIY.
MOH: $490 ($130 dress, $100 shower, $260 bachelorette parties)
Bridesmaid 1: $230 ($130 dress, $100 for 1 bachelorette party)
Bridesmaid 2: $160 – ($20 for dress fabric, $90 for bachelorette parties, and $50 for the shower)
Bridesmaid #3: $90 – ($60 for the dress off ebay, $30 for one bachelorette party)
Bridesmaid #4: $30 – ($0 for the dress fabric [purchased myself], $30 for one bachelorette party)
The most I've personally spent as a bridesmaid was about $300.
@lauramich: I love your attitude about your bridesmaids. I think too much emphasis is put on everything looking "perfect" that people no longer look like themselves by the end of everything. I'm sure they appreciate your understanding.
I was my sister's MOH. Here's a breakdown:
Dress and undergarments- $250
Bachelorette party- $400
Hair and makeup-$100
Wedding gift-$50
My Bridesmaids probably paid about the same, because they all had to travel but did not pay for my bachelorette party. My sister/MOH probably paid more though because she traveled AND paid for the bach. party.
My girls spent maybe $200 to be in my wedding ad that was for the dress and if they decided to buy new shoes (which wasn't required) I didn't have a bachelorette party and they didn't have to buy anything for my bridal shower.
So far I've only been in 1 wedding, my cousins, $710:
The Break down:
$250- Dress + alterations
$50- Shoes
$50- Hair
$60- Make up
$100- Contribution to bridal shower
$200- Bachelorette Party
If I count the bridal shower present + wedding present that cost goes up to $1060!
I am in another wedding in February, and so far the costs are already $760!
$200 dress
$60 Shoes (dyed to match dress)
$400 Bachelorette party weekend
$100- Bridal Shower
Once I add alteration cost ($50) hair ($50) & make up ($60), and wedding gift ($300) it will be $1,220....eeek!
holy cow! No WAY are my two maids spending even close to this amount. If I can find it their dresses will be between 75-110 max!...the rest Im going to try and find deals on makeup, hair and jewelry as gifts, all of which Im going to be paying for and Im making sure my bridal party and their spouses have some sort of transport as well, and Im covering that.
The only thing they might have to pay to the limo guy is for parking, but then I would take care of that too! I would be shocked if someone asked me to spend 1700 dollars on being a BM!
Im also thinking of gifting them shoe clips instead of having them buy shoes they will never wear again.
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