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@JulesSchnooks: It's the cost of many of the dresses at David's which (IMO) is sort of the industry standard for reasonably priced. I don't think that's a small amount to pay for a dress, just that you need to try hard to have a palette of colors to pick from at a cheaper price. If yu need to do cheaper than a-hundred-and-something, you almost need to find a non-wedding off-the-rack dress in your color of choice.
FWIW, my BM dresses cost more than any of your choices b/c I wanted locally made and silk, but I offered to buy them since I didn't want my wedding to be a financial burden on my friends.
It's not too bad. I think it depends on where you live though. I was a bridesmaid (was "kicked out"..long story) in my friend's fall wedding this year, and she picked out bridesmaid dresses that were $300 + alternations! And we live in a small town. So needless to say, $180 to me is on the lucky side, haha. Another friend had her dresses cost about $130. I think anywhere from 100-200 (being on the higher side) is reasonable.
If she has money troubles, could you pitch in say $50 to help offset the cost?
My first question is whether your sister is going to be MOH. If so, she could wear a different dress to set her apart. Another bee on here did that and it looked aweome. (I could try to track down her post if you want.) She could maybe find a dress in her price range. Consignment store, thrift shops, and discount racks at bridal store would all be possibilities.
If she isn't going to be your MOH hmm.... I would pull her aside and really sympathize with what she is going through. Imaginary conversation: "Jill I feel so terrible about what you are going through right now. I can't even imagine how much you must be hurting. I know how much I would be hurting if I was in your place. I feel so bad about starting my life with the man of my dreams when you are going through this in your marriage. I don't want you to ever feel like I am rubbing your face in my happiness. I want us both to be deliriously happy. I wish I could fix your marriage for you. Your my sister and I love you. I don't want to put any additional stress on you right now. I know being in a wedding is very costly and stressful and if it is more than you can handle I understand. I want you and (neice) in my wedding but really I will understand if you want to decline. Of course you will still be in many of my wedding pics because you are family. *hugs*
Honestly I paid $160+ for BM dresses I have worn in the past and they were butt ugly. Last wedding I was a MOH my dress was a $400 medival costume. So no yours a pretty average.
I am just picking a color (navy) and letting my girls pick their own. This way they can find something cheaper or something they can wear again. I have seen this done and I like the look. I may choose a fabric too so they match better.
Good luck! Hope I helped.
If your dress is one of the major labels, have you checked w/ Pearl's Place? They will beat any price you give them. They gave me an incredible deal that made it a lot easier for my BMs.
@secondchances: Thanks for your advice. That's a great idea, and I may go that route.
Your post is funny to me because her name actually IS Jill-- it made me do a double take, especially since you're from the same state. :) I was scratching my head, wondering "does she know us??" That's funny!
@JulesSchnooks: That is funny! I honestly didn'y know what to say and when I started replying no one else had posted, it was late, so I felt I had to offer some encouragement. I prayed for you both and that is what popped into my head. Really really weird!
I've been a BM twice, and both times I paid around $250 for the dress and $50 for alterations, and neither dress was re-wearable or very elaborate!
For my girls we pick out lovely Jim Hjelm dresses that retailed for $240-$300, however we bought them online at halfbridal.com. Halfbridal was great to work with, and they are a licensed seller of quite a few different brands, however they can't list their prices online or in email due to restrictions with the designers, so just call and talk to them!
I have been in 10 weddings (yes pathetic I know lol finally getting my own day lol) and I paid a minimum of $200 for each (one was $500 that was crazy) so I would love to pay $180 lol but maybe dresses are cheaper in the states?
Every BM dress I have ever had to purchase was $150+ (usually closer to $200-50). I have always felt it was too much to be spent on a dress that will literally never be worn again. In general 'bridesmaids' dresses are WAY overpriced -- there are lots of dresses on the market that would work as BM dresses but aren't slated as such.
The general cost of BM dresses is the main factor why I am probably going to politely refuse to ever be a BM again. For real. It's not that I can't afford it, I just think it is a bit of a waste.
I honestly can not find one dress i like that is under 170... the dress I really wanted was 300 but I thought that was too much. and we dont come from money (nor do my bms) and I thought 170 was a great price. Luckly none of them have complained yet!
@secondchances: Oooh, nice way of putting that!
OP: I think having that conversation with your sister will smooth a lot of ruffled feathers. I would also try to think of her as being sad and acting out rather than being bitter and jealous. I'm sure you know how rough this is on her, and a little perspective shift will go a long way!
Did you discuss a price point with your girls before picking out the dress? Most of my girls aren't well off financially right now and one is planning her own wedding so I tried very hard to find good deals for them. I didn't want matching dresses, just the same designer, fabric, color and length. That helped a lot. They were able to get dresses on David's online clearance section. The most expensive was $99, the least expensive was $50. I know it's probably hard if you have your heart set on a certain dress. I'd ask your sister what she's comfortable spending and see if you can come to a compromise (maybe you pay the difference for her?)
My girls wore $70 convertible dresses from Victoria's Secret. They came within a week!
I like those victoria's secret dresses you posted-- I didn't even know they dabbled in dresses! Mine was a convertable dress from dessy, but the longer version. I wonder if just switching to the tea length will make it easier.
I did chat with the ladies before selecting a dress. It's just this one sister always has something to say about anything. I get that she's sad about her life in general, but there isn't much I can do about it. It's just something she's going to have to experience and make peace with.
not sure if you have checked out houseofbrides.com
But we went to a local bridal store, and tried on dresses that I found on that website. Once we found one in the store, we ordered them through the house of brides site. The dresses were $190 in the store and we got them for $135 and that was with no tax and free shipping.
My girls wore $200 dresses. I think that $180 is completely reasonable. If you go to Norstroms, BCBG, or even Macys to buy a special occasion dress just as a guest for a wedding, you can expect to spend that much.
What about letting her pick out something (with your approval) for her daughter? During the summer there are lots of cute party dresses at the dept stores, so she could always get something on sale at Kohls or JC Penneys, and it would be cheaper than a "traditional" flower girl dress.
I let my MOH pick the dress, and it's from DB. It's DEFINITELY one that will be worn again! At $99, it was very reasonable.
$180 isn't bad. Honestly? I paid that to be in two weddings 10 - 12 years ago! With alterations, they came in around $225 - $250. They were both full-length dresses (with sleeves, oh, the joy)
I went with David's for my maids, and they've ranged from $80 - $129 before alterations. They are short dresses.
This is why I hate bm dresses. I just don't understand why they cost so much! None of them look great off the rack either. If I pay $150 for a dress I would want it to fit perfectly...
I'm at a loss for what to choose for bm dresses.
@JulesSchnooks: I think that's about average for a dress. Mine are only under $100 because they are knee length. My sister threw a fit over the fact that the dress would cost around $90. We're not getting married until next April and she's known about the cost since last year. She's had plenty of time to save up for it, but still complains.
My dresses, because I'm going through Netbride.com, are only $129, but the cost of your dress isn't unreasonable. I think your sister is more stressed out because her marrige is falling apart. I can't offer any advice about that so {hugs}
I am picking out dresses from modcloth.com and then letting the bridesmaids pick which ones they want from there. They range from around $50 to $150 but most of the dresses I am picking are around $80. i would suggest looking at that site cause they have the cutest dresses. I like mismatched bm dresses more than matching ones so it just depends on your style.
$180 sounds pretty reasonable. My color was pink, and I assumed it would be relatively un-rewearable so I tried to go cheap. I went through David's and the dresses were $100-$120 I think.
oh man. so sorry you are going through this. I totally know how it is for someone to rain on your parade. especially when you would be sooooooo happy if it were them. My dresses cost 250. so your sister should be happy she isnt in my wedding party! I think 180 is VERY average. There is no way to diffuse the situation if she is jealous... she needs to change herself.. until then, prob would be best to keep your distance. Oh, and 1 of my BM's daughter is a FG, I am buying the FG dress.
My bridesmaids were $180 and a $20 up charge for the larger girls. The alterations are free. I think that is about the range anymore. Unless you can find $99 dresses.
I have been in 6 weddings and have never paid more than $120 for the BM dress.
mine are 180 too! which sometimes i feel bad about, because the most ive paid is 150. But then i remember that im not making them buy certain shoes or pay for their hair and so i think it kind of evens out in a way:-)
My BM's dress was $230 and I helped her with $50 of it because I wanted her to have it soooo much. It's floor length, strapless, black with rouching but the best part is..... the bottom half is detachable and she'll be able to wear it again. I can see her going to a cocktail party or a nice dinner out with a hot date and looking stunning. I'm so excited for her to wear it now only if my dress was a convertable too...lol!!!
I'm sorry your sister is going through such a hard time and I agree with secondchances. I hope it works out well.
My BM's dresses were $110+ alterations but that's because we caught them on sale, normal price was $130 I believe. I don't think your's are too expensive, that seems in the normal range for what I saw when I was looking.
Well, to sum up the scenario, I've had my older sister complain about the cost of the dress (as noted above). Shortly after, my younger sister flat out declined to be a bridesmaid.
It wasn't only because of the cost, but because of what I was asking her to do along with it. Most of her reasoning is because she didn't want to "show up early" to get ready with all of us, or have to take the time to stand around for pictures. She's 20 and very self-interested. I get that.
I've since had another bridesmaid drop out last week, a month before the wedding. With this much of a headache, I've conceded and chosen a new dress.
I don't really care what the dress looks like as much as I do having the women I want to be my bridesmaids. This is the dress I'm going with:
at #53.00, I don't think they can complain. At this point, I don't even care. I just want to get it all over with. The other dress was totally cute, but this will work. Everyone can now participate by being a bridesmaid, except my younger sister, who would rather sit in the sidelines with her boyfriend.
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Hi all, I have chosen a BM dress which will cost $180, all told. I informed my BMs of my dress selection, and my sister sent a REPLY ALL message, criticizing the cost. As irritating as that was, I'm beginning to wonder whether the price point is too high? Please let me know whether my request is unreasonable, and if so, where can I get inexpensive BM dresses quickly enough for my July 30th wedding? The ones I chose can be delivered in 7 to 10 days via mail.
This is annoying to me, mostly because my sister invited herself into my wedding party, and hinted more than once that she wanted to be the MOH. Of course a cost of *SOME* kind was going to be associated with being a BM. ::sigh:: What's a girl to do? She also assumes her daughter is going to be flower girl (which I want), but I wonder if she's going to throw a fit at having to outfit her daughter in a dress too? Any advice, bees? My sister is going through a pretty sour time, as her marriage is falling apart, and she's just jealous and bitter. I don't know how to diffuse it though.