Post # 1
Hi all, I have chosen a BM dress which will cost $180, all told. I informed my BMs of my dress selection, and my sister sent a REPLY ALL message, criticizing the cost. As irritating as that was, I’m beginning to wonder whether the price point is too high? Please let me know whether my request is unreasonable, and if so, where can I get inexpensive BM dresses quickly enough for my July 30th wedding? The ones I chose can be delivered in 7 to 10 days via mail.
This is annoying to me, mostly because my sister invited herself into my wedding party, and hinted more than once that she wanted to be the MOH. Of course a cost of *SOME* kind was going to be associated with being a BM. ::sigh:: What’s a girl to do? She also assumes her daughter is going to be flower girl (which I want), but I wonder if she’s going to throw a fit at having to outfit her daughter in a dress too? Any advice, bees? My sister is going through a pretty sour time, as her marriage is falling apart, and she’s just jealous and bitter. I don’t know how to diffuse it though.
Post # 3
Seems like a fair price to me
Post # 4
Your poll doesn’t have a choice for dresses over $250…
Post # 5
I haven’t picked my BM dresses, but I expect they will be in the $200-300 range.
Post # 6
Mine cost $265. A friend of mine that I am standing up in this fall has dresses that cost $175. As soon as you put wedding on anything the price shoots up.
Stick with your original pick. Sit your sis down and have a chat with her. Including that if she has a beef please bring it to you directly and not everyone else. Just talk about the cost of being involved in the wedding and if she really wants to be a part, her daughter too. Yeah $175 is a lot for a dress I will NEVER wear again but at least my friend will be happy.
Post # 7
We just happened to get a great deal because the J. Crew dresses we ordered were on clearance for $50; otherwise they would have been $150. i don’t think $180 is over-the-top. Unfortunately weddings are rather expensive…
Is the issue that she can’t afford the dress or just doesn’t want to pay that much? If she really can’t afford it, you may want to help her… it sounds to me like she hates to see you happy because she’s not, as unfair to you as it may be.
Post # 8
Thanks ladies, for the reassurance. No matter what I would have chosen, I think my sister would have a sour-puss complaint no matter what.
This isn’t the first issue she has had, and I don’t think it will be the last one. Even if I sit her down and discuss the dress with her (which I did, btw. I gave her an out in my email message after she “replied all” saying if it’s breaking her wallet, she can back out without hard feelings– to which she hit “reply all” again, and mocked my response as though I was acting like my wedding was the biggest occasion on the planet), I don’t think I could win.
She makes constant comments about my over all planning, my dress, the house FI and I recently moved into, FI and his family, etc. I’m trying to play nicely, but she’s making it so difficult. I don’t understand why weddings make people so mean and nasty. All I want is to marry FI in the presence of our beloved family and friends. I could really do without the ridicule and commentary. No matter how often I call her out on it, she accuses me of being too sensitive. People like that don’t change unless they want to be introspective, and repeatedly, she isn’t humble enough to know when lines are crossed, even when it’s pointed out to her.
In times like this, after I’ve said my piece to an inattentive sister, the best I can do is vent to wedding bee, and thank everyone who hands out advice and support. So thank you, ladies. I appreciate it.
Post # 9
I don’t know about BM dresses, but I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry your sister is being like that. Personally she comes off like she is jealous. I hope she comes around and starts being more supportive 🙂
Post # 10
I picked $150-$200, but I let my girls pick their own style (Just limited them to designer, fabric, color, and length) and they all picked dresses that were closer to $200.
Post # 11
@ brideatbeach: You hit the nail on the head. She’s an extremely competative person, and when it comes to me, she hates to see me upstage her in any capacity, particularly because I’m younger than she is (albeit by only 14 months).
She’s always had a verbally abusive streak to her, but she’d calmed down dramatically over the years when she started thinking about how hurtful she could be. Unfortunately now, her marriage is very rocky, and will be ending as soon as her kids reach school age. That means she has to start over, and that is a very scary, unknown road for her.
Now that FI and I have purchased our home, and have committed to a wedding of ANY kind, she’s slowly but surely going back to her old ways of verbal assault when it comes to these two topics. She had a wedding with 7 guests, and she’s wanted to buy a house for a long time, but she and her husband have functional substance abuse issues that perpetually eat up their finances. Plus the road to divorce. I know she’s feeling badly about herself, but she unhealthily projects it onto me, rather than celebrating with me.
Post # 12
My bridesmaids dresses cost $175 and they were made to order.
Post # 13
@StuporDuck: I bought two dresses for my MOH to try. One from a consignment shop a whish dress for $30. And one from Davids Bridal for $140.
She chose the Davids Bridal even though it cost her more, she thought it looked better. We are currently searching for a flowergirl dress under consignment for her daughter.
The last wedding I went to, the dresses were over $200. So.. i really don’t think your prices are out of hand. I think sis is just being sis.
Post # 14
I have told my bridesmaids in advance that the cost will likely be around $200. I haven’t chosen a dress yet but I don’t want to break their budgets so to speak on a dress they will wear once so I will try to keep it at that or below.
Post # 15
@Treejewel19: That’s reasonable, and it’s good you told them in advance. I just learned my OTHER sister wants to back out of being a bridesmaid due to cost. In her defense, she’s 20, and has a very limited income…