Post # 1
Hi all, I have chosen a BM dress which will cost $180, all told. I informed my BMs of my dress selection, and my sister sent a REPLY ALL message, criticizing the cost. As irritating as that was, I’m beginning to wonder whether the price point is too high? Please let me know whether my request is unreasonable, and if so, where can I get inexpensive BM dresses quickly enough for my July 30th wedding? The ones I chose can be delivered in 7 to 10 days via mail.
This is annoying to me, mostly because my sister invited herself into my wedding party, and hinted more than once that she wanted to be the MOH. Of course a cost of *SOME* kind was going to be associated with being a BM. ::sigh:: What’s a girl to do? She also assumes her daughter is going to be flower girl (which I want), but I wonder if she’s going to throw a fit at having to outfit her daughter in a dress too? Any advice, bees? My sister is going through a pretty sour time, as her marriage is falling apart, and she’s just jealous and bitter. I don’t know how to diffuse it though.
Post # 3
@StuporDuck: It’s the cost of many of the dresses at David’s which (IMO) is sort of the industry standard for reasonably priced. I don’t think that’s a small amount to pay for a dress, just that you need to try hard to have a palette of colors to pick from at a cheaper price. If yu need to do cheaper than a-hundred-and-something, you almost need to find a non-wedding off-the-rack dress in your color of choice.
FWIW, my BM dresses cost more than any of your choices b/c I wanted locally made and silk, but I offered to buy them since I didn’t want my wedding to be a financial burden on my friends.
Post # 4
It’s not too bad. I think it depends on where you live though. I was a bridesmaid (was “kicked out”..long story) in my friend’s fall wedding this year, and she picked out bridesmaid dresses that were $300 + alternations! And we live in a small town. So needless to say, $180 to me is on the lucky side, haha. Another friend had her dresses cost about $130. I think anywhere from 100-200 (being on the higher side) is reasonable.
If she has money troubles, could you pitch in say $50 to help offset the cost?
Post # 5
My first question is whether your sister is going to be MOH. If so, she could wear a different dress to set her apart. Another bee on here did that and it looked aweome. (I could try to track down her post if you want.) She could maybe find a dress in her price range. Consignment store, thrift shops, and discount racks at bridal store would all be possibilities.
If she isn’t going to be your MOH hmm…. I would pull her aside and really sympathize with what she is going through. Imaginary conversation: “Jill I feel so terrible about what you are going through right now. I can’t even imagine how much you must be hurting. I know how much I would be hurting if I was in your place. I feel so bad about starting my life with the man of my dreams when you are going through this in your marriage. I don’t want you to ever feel like I am rubbing your face in my happiness. I want us both to be deliriously happy. I wish I could fix your marriage for you. Your my sister and I love you. I don’t want to put any additional stress on you right now. I know being in a wedding is very costly and stressful and if it is more than you can handle I understand. I want you and (neice) in my wedding but really I will understand if you want to decline. Of course you will still be in many of my wedding pics because you are family. *hugs*
Honestly I paid $160+ for BM dresses I have worn in the past and they were butt ugly. Last wedding I was a MOH my dress was a $400 medival costume. So no yours a pretty average.
I am just picking a color (navy) and letting my girls pick their own. This way they can find something cheaper or something they can wear again. I have seen this done and I like the look. I may choose a fabric too so they match better.
Good luck! Hope I helped.
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2010 - Ocean View Villas/Jasmine Seafood Restaurant
If your dress is one of the major labels, have you checked w/ Pearl’s Place? They will beat any price you give them. They gave me an incredible deal that made it a lot easier for my BMs.
Post # 7
@secondchances: Thanks for your advice. That’s a great idea, and I may go that route.
Your post is funny to me because her name actually IS Jill– it made me do a double take, especially since you’re from the same state. 🙂 I was scratching my head, wondering “does she know us??” That’s funny!
Post # 8
@StuporDuck: That is funny! I honestly didn’y know what to say and when I started replying no one else had posted, it was late, so I felt I had to offer some encouragement. I prayed for you both and that is what popped into my head. Really really weird!
Post # 9
I’ve been a BM twice, and both times I paid around $250 for the dress and $50 for alterations, and neither dress was re-wearable or very elaborate!
For my girls we pick out lovely Jim Hjelm dresses that retailed for $240-$300, however we bought them online at halfbridal.com. Halfbridal was great to work with, and they are a licensed seller of quite a few different brands, however they can’t list their prices online or in email due to restrictions with the designers, so just call and talk to them!
Post # 10
I have been in 10 weddings (yes pathetic I know lol finally getting my own day lol) and I paid a minimum of $200 for each (one was $500 that was crazy) so I would love to pay $180 lol but maybe dresses are cheaper in the states?
Post # 11
Every BM dress I have ever had to purchase was $150+ (usually closer to $200-50). I have always felt it was too much to be spent on a dress that will literally never be worn again. In general ‘bridesmaids’ dresses are WAY overpriced — there are lots of dresses on the market that would work as BM dresses but aren’t slated as such.
The general cost of BM dresses is the main factor why I am probably going to politely refuse to ever be a BM again. For real. It’s not that I can’t afford it, I just think it is a bit of a waste.
Post # 12
I honestly can not find one dress i like that is under 170… the dress I really wanted was 300 but I thought that was too much. and we dont come from money (nor do my bms) and I thought 170 was a great price. Luckly none of them have complained yet!
Post # 13
@secondchances: Oooh, nice way of putting that!
OP: I think having that conversation with your sister will smooth a lot of ruffled feathers. I would also try to think of her as being sad and acting out rather than being bitter and jealous. I’m sure you know how rough this is on her, and a little perspective shift will go a long way!
Post # 14
Did you discuss a price point with your girls before picking out the dress? Most of my girls aren’t well off financially right now and one is planning her own wedding so I tried very hard to find good deals for them. I didn’t want matching dresses, just the same designer, fabric, color and length. That helped a lot. They were able to get dresses on David’s online clearance section. The most expensive was $99, the least expensive was $50. I know it’s probably hard if you have your heart set on a certain dress. I’d ask your sister what she’s comfortable spending and see if you can come to a compromise (maybe you pay the difference for her?)
Post # 15
My girls wore $70 convertible dresses from Victoria’s Secret. They came within a week!
Post # 16
I like those victoria’s secret dresses you posted– I didn’t even know they dabbled in dresses! Mine was a convertable dress from dessy, but the longer version. I wonder if just switching to the tea length will make it easier.
I did chat with the ladies before selecting a dress. It’s just this one sister always has something to say about anything. I get that she’s sad about her life in general, but there isn’t much I can do about it. It’s just something she’s going to have to experience and make peace with.