Post # 1
Either $$ or in gift form- how much are you expected to give to be “reasonable” for your area/social circle? I was kind of shocked to learn that (apparently) it’s good form to gift as much as you think your plate/presence cost…that would mean couples coming to our wedding would be giving us $500 worth of gifts?! That is insane. Similarly, I don’t feel comfortable gifting someone else 300-400 worth of cash or stuff for FI and I simply because I was invited to their wedding…
Am I just super cheap? Is this normal?!
Post # 3
@bkrocks13: I have heard of cover your plate, but not cover your presence. Where I live, it is normal to give between $150-$200/couple.
Post # 4
@MrsPanda99: I guess I said “presence” because not everyone has a plate (for example, our wedding doesnt have a sitdown meal but it’s coming our to about $175-250pp for food and drinks.) Expecting someone to gift that much just feels insane.
Post # 5
We generally give $100 as a couple (on top of the showers, bachelor/ette parties etc etc).
some weddings are a little more but it’s rare that we would do less than $100
Post # 6
@bkrocks13: No one knows what a wedding costs and I don’t believe they should. I figure guests are invited because the couple wants them there. I have just always felt that a safe assumption is $150-$200/couple, but I have also seen more (up to $500/couple). I have rarely seen less.
Post # 7
Where I live the common gift is $75-$100 per couple. I know this is fairly low compared to other areas.
ETA: I believe this is based on location. My family and DH’s family are in two different social circles and we received similar gifts from both sides. However, guests from out of state gave larger gifts (even though they traveled). This leads me to believe that it’s more location based versus social circle based.
Post # 8
As a couple, we normally give between $250-400, depending on how close we are to the couple. However, my parents and more established family members usually give around $500.
Post # 9
We usually give $100 – $150 for a wedding present, but I usually buy something off the couple’s registry instead of giving them cash.
Having just had our wedding in New England, I can say that the most common amount of cash we received was $100 per couple, so $50 per person. Our per person cost for them to be there was $175/person. I don’t agree with the “pay your plate” rule. I wanted my guests just to be there and celebrate with me, I didn’t care what amount of money they gave me.
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Our standard here is fairly low, like $40-100 for a couple, and people usually buy off the registry or give a non-registry tangible gift.
Post # 11
@bkrocks13: Our wedding was $180/pp and almost no one actually gave us that much. (Thank God, because I would have been really embarrassed!) Older/more established guests averaged around $100 per person (so $200 for a couple) and most of our friends who were our age gave us gifts between $40 and $100 per person, with most in the $60 range. (We’re in Brooklyn, too, btw!)
Post # 12
$150. I once went to a wedding in upstate NY and gave $300 to cover the gift of myself and my guest – they were shocked. It was nice they appreciated it so much. Everyone around where I’m from says $150 is pretty much standard
Post # 13
Standard here is $100pp…..I wouldn’t give less and for a close friend or family member would give more..
Post # 14
For my friends and family in the city, it’s about $150 a couple (or $75 a person). For my family in the rural area of Illinois, it’s about $50-75 a couple.
Post # 15
We usually give $150 as a couple. Plus shower gift of around $50-60 if invited. More if we are in the wedding party. I live near Philadelphia.
Post # 16
@bkrocks13: I dont know what the average is in my area but my average is 50-100 per person when I go to a wedding depending on the couple. FI and I gave my sister and her new husband $150 for their wedding. I wish I could have afforded more but with the plane flights, hotels, rental car, and BM dress….I was broke!