avoiding drama over sister's appearance

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Is your sister Courtney Stodden?


I think it is fair for you to give guidelines about the bridesmaid dresses since you do have someone else standing up for you and you want them to look like bridesmaids. I would find a few dresses that you really like and tell your sister that you fell in love with them or a certain style and you would love it if she would wear something like that. Since you already told her it had to go along with the formality of the wedding, I think you can give her certain styles to choose from and she ultimately gets to pick the actual dress. Good Luck!

Post # 4
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@zarla:  with fake boobs, you cannot let her wear that dress on your wedding.

I liked the first choice, tell her that it can’t be too short, skin tight, or revealing in the breast area. Hell, tell her that you dont want to be overshined (or over sexed!?) by her. You want to be the focus– I would make that clear.

Tell her youre looking for something romantic and flowy, not sexy and skin tight. You will have to be bruatally honest.

Post # 5
69 posts
Worker bee

I think you should tell her exactly that. That you are worried about her outshining you. Tell her how pretty you think she is. Won’t most the guests be family and close friends? No need to impress uncles or grandparents.

Post # 6
1925 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Honestly, I have and love that BCBG dress, so I think she can do a lot worse than it!

It is a risque for a bridesmaid dress though, especially if FI has a conservative family.  I would send her 5 dresses you really love and ask her if any of these work. Stress that FI’s family is religious & conservative, so nothing skin-tight or low cut would be appropriate.

Post # 7
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Honestly? I don’t think this is a battle worth fighting. I get what you’re saying, I think you’re right, I see where you’re coming from. But if she gives this much importance to her attire, I would just let her have it. The attention will be on you. Don’t even consider it won’t. Honestly another guest could show up in a wedding gown and the attention would still be on you.


If I were you, I’d push her to buy de edesa shirred dress before she buys something more revealing and just stay out of this one

Post # 8
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@CityBearBride:  do you happen to have a picture of you wearing it? i love it, but want to see it on a non photoshopped body

Post # 9
8677 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

TBH, I don’t see anything wrong with the dress she picked. It’s a bit steeply cut in the chest but other than that, there isn’t anything remotely “stripper” about it.

Post # 10
42101 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@zarla:  Is your wedding date correct on your profile?  If so, you still have lots of time to deal with this. I would just let it go for a while, then tell her you saw the perfect dress and you have decided that it is the dress you would like both women to wear. Tell her she can hve it altered to her taste after the wedding.

Post # 11
526 posts
Busy bee

If you love your sister as much as you say, and this is HER look, let her be.  No one will judge YOU for how she looks, and its your wedding, no one is going to pay less attention to you because of her, they’re probably used to her look and don’t pay attention anymore. and it probably means more to her to have her look (given her diagnoses), than for you to have your dream bridesmaid dress, no?  I know this feels huge right now, but there are more important things to be upset over. 


Post # 12
1887 posts
Buzzing bee

@zarla:  I don’t have any great advice except to say don’t worry about her outshining you.  I have never been to a wedding where the bride wasn’t the center of attention.  You will be the bride and thus the most beautiful person there.

Also, I want to compliment you on being such an awesome, understanding sister.  I see posts on here where the bride is jealous of her pretty bridesmaids or sisters, and I find to posts to be so mean and insecure sounding. I really respect that you aren’t like that, and that you understand your sister is actually terrified of looking ugly. You sound like a great person.

Hopefully you two can go dress shopping together and find a nice compromise.  Perhaps she could wear a conservative dress for the ceremony and then change for the reception? Or maybe she could add a cardigan or shawl to one of her picks for the ceremony? Good luck!

Post # 15
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@zarla:  i feel for you no one wants their girls wearing dresses with there boobs all out… and remind her if thats her dream wedding look this is not her wedding at hers she can wear that … 




i think these kinds of wrap dresses are wonderful for suiting someones body, i find for someone who wants to feel sexy but its a lil busty the one shoulder ones can have the back really nicely showcased and feel sexy with out being out right look at me its always slimming and lookgs good (plus i think she likes back details by the blue dress you showed) 


if you look at the 2nd link the mini dresses (dont buy the mini they are to short by they show a lovely off shoulder look on the girl wearing boots for some reason i was thinking of going with the knee legnth ones and having he busty girls do that shoulder way 


i also love the ones with the rossetes on the 1st page plus u can tell her she will have fun tieing it differnet ways after the wedding … or even compriise let he go a lil sexier after some photos are done 

Post # 16
41 posts
  • Wedding: August 2015

My opinion might be unpopular, but when I opened the link to what she labeled as “conservative option” I was expecting something like a leopard costume after how you described her.. and was surprised because that BCBG dress looks quite normal to me, and not very different from what you proposed to her. I think in life you have to choose your battles wisely.. and it doesnt seem really worth it to me to fight for something with such little difference. If you say that your wedding is mostly family they will know your sister already and maybe will be even surprised at her dress choice (because frankly, this is not a stripper costume). So if it was me I’d let this one go.. Good luck! 🙂

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