- 3 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
So, here’s the story. Any help would be appreciated!
I love my sister a lot, and I want her to be my attendent at the wedding. I’m probably just going to have her and possibly my oldest friend (and FI will have his brother and possibly an old friend). Because the bridal party is so small, I already told them her she could pick out whatever dress she wanted that was the right level of formal/casualness and went with the basic vibe of the wedding.
This was probably a mistake. I really don’t know what I was thinking. I guess I was trying too hard not to be a bridezilla…
My sister dresses very provocatively. She has VERY large breast implants and regularly gets lip injections and botox even though she is only 27. She is definitely a Pamela Anderson type. She has never had a job outside of nightlife and I’ve seen her come go to court or other family events wearing clothes that I thought were really inappropriate. One time, even, I was hanging out with her and one of her friends while she picked out something to wear to a friend’s babyshower and her– who has the same look as her and is incidentally a stripper– was like, “Ummm, don’t you think that’s a bit revealing?” and my sister was genuinely shocked. It is hard to exagerrate how over-the-top her provocative dressing is. I don’t want you to think I am making a mountain out of a molehill. She wears clothes that wear made as a stripper costumes in everyday life. I’m not kidding.
Also, it’s worth saying that she is not emotionally very stable. She has been diagnosed with bipolar and histrionic personality disorder. She really believes that she is hideously ugly unless she is dressed sexually and getting a lot of attention. She is honestly SUCH a kind a loving person, but her sense of self and attitude toward her appearance has been a problem in her life since her was a pre-teen. She has had a much harder life than me in many ways and I understand how she has these attitudes, I guess…
So, she showed me some dressed she was thinking about, and they were all really inappropriate. I sent her some that I thought would be better, and she didn’t like any of them.
For example, she is thinking this as a “conservative option”: http://www.bcbg.com/Edesa-Shirred-V-Neck-Cocktail-Dress/NYC6R194-B4G,default,pd.html
I suggested that she look at thigns that are labled “bridemaid dresses,” and she mentioned liking the strapless ones but getting them shortened and trying on to see if they “didn’t cut her off at the cleavage and make her look fat.”
She started to get really upset and sad, saying how ugly and fat and disgusting she looks in “clothes normal people can pull off” and how she’ll ruin by photos by looking so bad if she doesn’t wear something like what she picked out. She also side some annoying things like “It doesn’t matter if you (me) look good, you have a fiance and are smart.” Ahem. Whatever.
I DO NOT think she is trying to compete or look inappropriate or do anything wrong. I just think that she really does thnk she looks terrible unless she’s getting sexual attention. She doesn’t understand that a wedding is not the place where that is necessary. She said her dream wedding look for herself is Britney Spear’s wedding to K-Fed (in case you don’t recall: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jYk8AjI2FF8/Tuu4gy1VzpI/AAAAAAAAAJw/d4DJ9RaAyzY/s400/britney.jpg)
I honestly do not have a problem with her lifestyle or the way she looks. She is who she is. Honesty she’s pretty hot. But i just wish she would tone it down for my wedding. I mean, to some extent, I am a little worried about her “outshining” me (or at least diverting attention, even if people don’t find her look to be their cup of tea). I know it sounds bridezilla, but I’m just being honest. Also, FI’s family is a lot more conservative and religious than mine, and I am honestly afraid of what they will think.
Although we were rasied as sisters, we are half-sister different mothers, and I don’t think it would work to ask either my mother or hers to talk with her.
I’m not really sure what to do. I wish I had just decided on a dress and been like, “that’s what you’re wearing hope you like it!” and left it at that. But it’s a little late for that, alas.