No newer images
more by Mintara
No older images
What to do about sharing a date??
more in Family
NWR-  Praying I enjoy this beach trip! (Long).
Have you ever tried on princess wedding dress, but you looked more like the ugly
more in Boards
Please help me pick out jewelry! Need to decide this weekend!

Avoiding Family Drama

posted 10 months ago in Family
  • 1 Members Subscribed To Topic
  •  
    1.
    Member Icon
    Member
    2 posts
    Wannabee
    Mintara    August 11, 2012   Peace River, AB, Canada

    My parents are happily married, however, such is not the case with my fiance's parents.  His parents have been separated for 19 years & do not get along.  My fiance's mother & stepfather have been together for 17 years & my fiance actually calls his stepfather "Dad" & calls his father by his first name.  My fiance's father had remarried, however, recently divorced his second wife & has since started dating someone new.  To make matters even more complicated, my fiance & his father were actually not on speaking terms for several years until the passing of his grandfather this spring, and his father is also estranged from all of his other children (my fiance's younger siblings). 

    Now, these are my problems:  Where should we sit my fiance's father & his new girlfriend at the ceremony & at our reception?  We know that they will not be welcomed by any of my fiance's other family members.  And besides his siblings, we are actually not even expecting any other family members from his father's side to attend our wedding so we can't even put them with grandparents or cousins or anything like that.  Also, where should we put my fiance's former stepmother & his younger siblings at our ceremony & reception?  Neither his father & his new girlfriend, nor his former stepmother & his younger siblings, will be related to anyone there except my fiance & we will clearly not be putting his father & his girlfriend & his ex-wife & their kids all in the same row at the church or at the same table at the reception.  And I clearly don't want any of them seated with my fiance's mother & stepfather either since his mother & father don't get along either.  And we were planning on putting my parents with my grandparents & my aunt & uncle, so we can't put them with my parents either.  Help!

     
    2.
    Member
    1,708 posts
    Bumble bee
    FloretteLiz    August 18, 2012   Michigan

    According to etiquette if parents are divorced you are supposed to seat one set in the row behind the other. Does he have any close family you could use to take up the row behind his mother and put his father in the third row so that there is some extra space between them?

     
    2.
    Member
    1,708 posts
    Bumble bee
    FloretteLiz    August 18, 2012   Michigan

    Double post

     
    3.
    Member Icon
    Member
    2 posts
    Wannabee
    Mintara    August 11, 2012   Peace River, AB, Canada

    @FloretteLiz:  As explained, in my post, we are not expecting any other family on my fiance's side as they live on the other side of the country & will not be traveling here for our big day.  There will be only his mom & stepdad, his father & his new girlfriend, his former stepmother & younger siblings (who are all still either teenagers or children), & his one older sister & her husband (who we are planning on seating with my fiance's mom & stepfather).  So to answer your question, no, there is no other family to put with them.  My fiance's guest list is filled with friends & coworkers, not family.  This is why I am having such a difficult time.  I have read all the traditional advice about where to seat divorced parents.  It does not apply to this situation as we have no other family to mix in with them to keep them separated while still having full rows at the church or full tables at the reception.

     
    4.
    4,854 posts
    Honey bee
    lefeymw    April 16, 2011   CT

    Sit them with Fiances friends and their dates and your family, maybe your more distant cousins.

     
    5.
    Member
    1,708 posts
    Bumble bee
    FloretteLiz    August 18, 2012   Michigan

    Sorry I don't know how I missed that part. I like what lefeymw said about seating them near your FI's friends. 

     
    6.
    Member
    189 posts
    Blushing bee
    JaneDomani    October 6, 2012  

    Try to think of their personalities and place them with people with similar views, hobbies or interests. That way they will bond over their commonalities. It doesn't need to be someone they are related to.

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    ellisrobertson 24
    fishbone 20
    MsPanda 14
    aduarte3201 14
    ladyartichoke 12
    mypinkshoes 12
    pengoala 11
    sylvia.riggle 11
    ShellVee 10
    ndreighton 10

    Family

    User Posts Today
    smcs28 3
    PookyShoes 2
    julies1949 1
    kate02121 1
    Brielle 1
    ladyartichoke 1
    dlujan 1
    lovelymayday 1
    fishbone 1
    More