Post # 1
I am having a smallish wedding (100 people), and due to my parents’ and my future in laws’ guest lists taking up 80% of the list, my fiance and I have not been able to invite many of our friends. Now that some space is finally loosening up, he and I are trying to invite more of “our” people.
In the first round of invitations, I sent an invitation to the household where one of my friends lives. Now, I would also like to invite this friend’s parents…but I would very blatantly be sending a second-round invitation to the same address. It would be very obvious that they were not “first choice”. Making it worse, I would not be able to invite the other two siblings who live at the household, who I am also close with, even though their sister is already invited. (They are all adults living at home with their parents, to put it into context, and I have spent a lot of time with these people over the past many years.)
I know all of this would add up to be a major faux pas if I send a second invite to the parents…but I actually think they would be more hurt NOT to be invited at all. Especially when they find out at church that other people in their “category” were invited. And the other siblings’ feelings would be hurt as well.
Is there any way I can get around it, or should I just not invite the parents to avoid an invitation flub? Or, send an invite anyway and hope they get over the insult? This is my fault for not thinking it through from the beginning, but we truly didn’t think we would have room for these people at first.
Post # 3
My fiancé didn’t invite his coworker friends at first because his parents added so many people to our list. He told them he would invite them if we ended up having room, which we do. Nobody was offended and they’re happy to come. I don’t think it’s a big deal to just explain the situation to them and be honest!
Post # 4
@marie_antoinette: I think most prople understand that almost all couples have to deal with budget and venue constraints. Just send the the invitation.
Post # 5
@marie_antoinette: This really is a “know your audience” situation. It is bad form to B list people. And of course every bride here says “no one was offended” well… duh they wouldn’t tell you if they were! So you just have to know your audience. Will these people be excited to be invited? Or are they the type to judge? If you do send an invite, preface it with a call.
Post # 6
@marie_antoinette: If you’re over there all the time, I’m sure wedding talk has come up and discussion regarding limited space may have come up by now. I think if you could just have an honest and light hearted conversation with the family and explain the situation and give them an invite in person, it should smooth everything over and put a different spin on what could be an awkward situation
Post # 7
“Due to strict space restrictions, FI and I were unable to invite everyone we wanted to. We now know that much of my extended family won’t be able to travel for the wedding. We’ve had you in mind to invite if space opened up. I understand if its late notice, but we would really like to have you there.”