Post # 1
I just bought a gorgeous Vera Wang wedding gown! I purchased it from a nonprofit bridal salon whose inventory consists of dresses donated by the designer, and all the proceeds go to a charity. Best part is that all the dresses are 50-75% off the original retail price! I never thought I’d be walking down the aisle wearing the same designer that celebs do, but I am and I’m ecstatic! It’s not a used dress, I believe it may have been a sample in the designer’s boutique.
Anyway, here’s my issue – I have several nosy, gossipy and jealous types in my family. The type of people who are always trying to find a flaw in something to prevent them from getting jealous of things (“oh that mansion he lives in? I wouldn’t want to live there, I heard someone died in it”). They have been gossipping nonstop about my wedding and I find it disgusting (long story short – they are pissed that I’m having a destination wedding and are “protesting” it by not going and by trashing whatever they can).
Well, I CANNOT wait to tell them all that I will be wearing Vera down the aisle! It’s like, “gossip about THAT” hahaha. Anyway, in an attempt to find a flaw, I know there will be a flood of questions after I tell them the designer — “where did you get it?”, “is it custom?” etc. I HATE to be questioned about where I purchase my belongings, especially by these nosy people, because I feel like people are either just trying to find a flaw that they can gossip about, or they’re just trying to size me up by trying to find out how much I paid for something. Needless to say, I don’t want them to know it’s not a custom Vera Wang b/c they will use that information to put down and belittle my beautiful wedding dress. I don’t even want to tell them where I bought it b/c they will google it and see the salon doesn’t sell custom dresses.
Does anyone else dislike when someone asks you where you got your dress? Or basically any question that’s a hidden attempt to size up your wedding? How do you avoid these questions without making it sound like you’re hiding something?
I planned on just telling them “the only detail I’m giving about the dress before the wedding is that it’s Vera Wang”, but I’m really just wondering if I’m the only bride who gets annoyed when people ask questions like this. It REALLY bothers me.
Post # 3
Nope, u are not alone! – a lot of people have pressed me for details on my dress, so I just say it’s a surprise!
Post # 4
If you think these people are immature and jealous, don’t fan the flames by giving them tidbits of information to get them talking more! If someone asks, why not tell them the truth – “I got a gorgeous Vera Wang dress at a great price and supported a charity all at the same time!” Haters will hate, they will always find a way to tear things down. Rise above it and enjoy your dress and wedding, you’re probably better off that they aren’t coming if all they want to do is be negative.
Post # 5
I would not bring up the topic of the dress if you hate how much they gossip. You are thinking you are going to control the situation by only giving them information you want them to have-but if you do that, it will not work in your favor. Gossipers gossip. That is what they do. I agree with how KitKatNYC suggested you respond if they ask. If they have a snarky response, just let it roll like water off a duck’s back. Remember, hating is a form a flattery; it is a result of compliment someone has but does not want to give. Focus on your beautiful dress, your Fiance and your future together. You don’t have to prove anything to them. Good Luck!
Post # 6
I definitely would NOT tell them the designer of the dress, then it just looks like you’re giving them something to talk about… no one has really asked who the designer of my dress is, and I wouldn’t go flashing it around either, especially if I was worried about those types of people. Just say it’s a surprise and leave it at that.
Post # 7
I havent had that problem thankfully, but I hear ya and they dont need to know anything about your dress if that is the way they are going to act. As long as you feel good about your purchase and it makes you feel good that’s all that matters.
Post # 8
@nickie362: You are very insightful, thank you! You’re so right about my intentions — I’m not trying to flash it around (I haven’t told anyone else who the designer is) but I’m def attempting to control the situation by only giving them the info I choose to disclose… but you make an excellent point about it not working in my favor – I can totally picture them coming up with their own conclusions on how / where I acquired the dress and gossiping about that. Ugh. I just don’t understand the mind of a gossipper and try to keep people like that out of my life but they’re family and I don’t have that choice with them! These are all helpful posts, thank you all.
Post # 9
I just wouldn’t say anything at all, to be honest.
Post # 10
nope!! you are not alone!! I have gotten soooo many questions, rude & alike about my dress.. No one but my mom & FMIL has seen me in my dress!!! & nope its not on weddingbee either.. lol lets see… some of them have been…
- How much did it cost? — really? who asks that?
- Is it a China knock-off? — uhhh no! & if so, so what
- Can I see you in it? — uhh yeah at the wedding.. duh..
- Are you wearing white? — no, its black… come on !!
- It should be chiffon or with a lot of lace…..
- Is it short? do u have a picture of it on your phone?
Post # 11
oh.. sorry but to answer your post… I’d say “why yes.. it’s a Vera Wang!” –Proudly. lol thats all they need to know IF anything… lol
Post # 12
yes! people are so nosy! especially when they ask about the cost! it’s MY business how much I spent on my dress! And if they start grilling you for detail, just say, “it’s a secret” with a coy smile. Leave them to wonder on their own.
Post # 13
I think if you don’t want to answer questions about it, you shouldn’t bring it up. You can’t give them one detail, which you KNOW will make them want to know more, and then get upset when they try to ask you about it.
Post # 14
Lie 🙂 Oh yes, its a custom Vera, purchased at (enter salon that sells custom Vera near you). It doesn’t sound like they will be attending the fittings anyway. And since they wont be attending the wedding, gush afterwords. “Oh my crystal centerpiece? Custom made Swavroski Crystal!” Haha, or not. It’s a nosy question though. Girls will be girls, and if they are this jealous, you must be doing something right.
It doesn’t matter if it is custom. Who cares? You’re wearing VERA!
But if they care, Lie :).
Post # 15
Personally, I wouldn’t tell them what designer you’re wearing. It’s braggy and flashy, IMO. You want them to be impressed by her name (or there’d be no point saying it), but not have any other interest beyond that. It won’t happen. They won’t think you look better because they’ve been given the name of the designer, and you’re setting yourself up to have people say that it doesn’t look any better than so-and-so’s inexpensive nylon mass market dress. I’d let them be surprised and impressed by how awesome you look in it on your wedding day.
FWIW, I had a designer gown and NO ONE who was at the wedding except for my Darling Husband knows what brand it was, where I bought it, or how much I paid for it. For every person that would be impressed by the brand, there would be someone would be bothered by the supposed excess. None of that was the point. The ONLY point was to look and feel good on my wedding day.
Post # 16
Ugh yeah. I dont like people asking me where I got my dress.. Especially because I got it at the one place I didn’t think I would buy a dress but waddayaknow I found the one there. I usually change the topic or I name some random neighborhood in the city that has a bunch of bridal shops nearby and tell them I forgot the name because they all sound the same. I also feel people try to judge your wedding based on where you bought your dress.
My mom is like that too with people asking if she got her dress already, and she just tells people she got her dress custom made.