Post # 1
So I have this friend from school – I’ve known her for 3 years now, and for the first year and a half or so, we were pretty close. She’s said to me a couple times that I am her best friend. About a year and a half ago, we were working on a group project together and she totally let us down, but blamed it on another group member, and since then, she’s been getting more and more on my nerves. Overall, I think she’s a good kid, but she’s very immature and needy. We are still friends, but for the past little while I have been trying to distance myself from her a bit so she is not messaging me constantly with her drama.
Back-story done! We went out to a school function the other night and we were hanging out, just chatting, and out pops this little question:
“So, have you decided what dress you are putting us in yet?”
Oh. Em. Gee. She thinks she’s a bridesmaid. I’ve been engaged for almost a year now, and haven’t asked her to be one, but she just assumed?? I mumbled something about FI not being able to find a fourth groomsman and sticking to 3 people on each side (I’ve already asked my ladies) and quickly changed the subject, but she got pretty quiet after that.
How do you handle something like that? Has anyone else had a friend (incorrectly) assume they’d be part of your wedding party?
Post # 3
OMG!!! a total awkward turtle (google it lol) moment! I had a similar experience as soon as I announced I was engaged a friend from school volunteered herself AND anotherfriend to be bridesmaids!!! We were close but not THAT close in the end I didnt know how to get out of it and ended up making them my bridesmaids lol I hate confrontations!
Post # 4
i will explained to her that you already chose your bridesmaid and only three because you want a small wedding party!
Post # 5
Wow!!!!!! You would think after a year that she would realize that shes not a bridesmaid. Thats a little crazy. I think I would distance myself from that girl.
Post # 6
It’s crazy that people just assume they’re in your bridal party. I think if you’ve already explained to her that you’re keeping the party relatively small, that’s really all you can do. Hopefully she’ll understand! If it makes you feel any better, I was a BM in a girls wedding almost 3 years ago and have hardly spoke to her since, but ever since I got engaged, she’s been not-so-casually hinting around that she wants to be one in mine. It’s awkward, but I just try to change the subject lol. Good luck!
Post # 7
o dear that’s awkward. i wonder why she asked after you being engaged for a year. i haven’t had someone assume they’re in the wedding party but i did have someone assume they’re invited to the wedding. i managed to wiggle out of that comment without saying anything to them. i feel terrible but they’re a brother of a friend of my FI, and FI and him are not super close. blarg
Post # 8
It amazes me how many people just come up and invite themselves to your wedding….or ask if they are getting an invite. I would never do that.
Post # 9
Yeah, I’ve had that one too, actually… only once so far, luckily, and we have space constraints at our venue and FI has a big family, so I can dodge that one alright!
Post # 10
Yes, I had a friend ask me to not put her in a BM dress that had a bow on it. I brushed over the question and made some joke about a prom dress from the 80’s. Fortunately for me – we decided to ditch the wedding party all together – so, no picking – but, I think you did GREAT! It’s a situation that would definitely catch one off guard!!!
Post # 11
Eep that’s so presumptious to assume that you were going to include her. Maybe she doesn’t feel the rift between you as much as you do?
Post # 12
Yeah, it’s so weird! I had friends ask to be bridesmaids and I told them I was still planning the bridal party with FH…then after I asked some of these same people to be bridesmaids, now they complain about not enough time, too much money, ugly dresses, etc! Bizarre.
Post # 13
- Wedding: July 2010 - Mr. Turtle's Grandparents' backyard, Arroyo Grande, CA
I dealt with the same thing, except it was three girls who expected to be a part of our wedding party! I was actually with them when a random person asked if they were going to be my bridesmaids. Umm… awkwaaard. I pretty much just avoided the whole topic with them, and they found out they weren’t bridesmaids as other people found out, through our wedding web site, etc. Probably not the best way for me to deal with it, but it worked out totally fine and they’re happily coming to the wedding as guests!
Post # 14
Oh God that IS awkward! I have no idea how I would handle that…but it sounds like you played it off perfectly!
Post # 15
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
oooooh that’s uncomfortable. 🙁