Awkward bridesmaid/wedding party situation

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

It really doesn’t matter if the sides arent symmetrical. But it would greatly hurt your friends to unask them, and may permanently ruin your relationship. 

Post # 5
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Welcome to the bee!

I don’t care very much about symmetry but it would seem a bit strange to have 5 BMs and no GM. I would just call them your “girls” instead of your BMs – you guys can still have a bachelorette party and pre-wedding spa day. 

Post # 6
2302 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

i’d sit them down and explain that actually, you’ve decided to forego a bridal party, and that what you’d love to do instead is have each of them play a special part of your day. 

so ask your moh to sign as your witness, someone could do a reading, another could give the toast to the bride, someone could say grace, etc. i’d emphasize that what you really want is for them to enjoy themselves on the day, wear what they want etc and still be there for you. make this sound like ‘isn’t this better?’ rather than ‘womp, womp, you’ve been demoted’ (which of course they haven’t!)

let them know you’ll still have special photos together, can still do a bridal shower etc but that you think this will be more laid back and less stress. 

Post # 7
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Well over here in the UK it is not at all unusual to only have a best man standing up with the groom regardless of how many bridesmaids were in the bridal party. In fact, it is not at all strange to have a mismatch in numbers.

I’d also say that this is an area where you make up your own rules. If you want several bridesmaids then have them. Don’t disappoint people who would love to be in your bridal party simply because your FI doesn’t want multiple groomsmen.

Post # 8
1926 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I wouldn’t think its awkward at all.  The bridal party’s role is so minimal!  At my Catholic wedding, only the MOH and best man stood up with us, the rest of the bridal party stayed seated.  Forgo bridal party announcements at the reception, skip bridal party dance, and don’t do a head table if you want to draw less attention.  People will barely notice!

Don’t unask your girls.  You deserve to have your best friends with you, and that shouldn’t change because FI doesn’t want groomsmen.

Post # 9
1298 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I think if your FI is ok with not having groomsmen and you having 5 bridesmaids, then keep your bridal party. If he is going to feel awkward about it, then just explain the situation to your group that it’s nothing personal, you just decided not to have a bridal party, but you can still do all the fun things if you want. 

Post # 11
1106 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@kalinanoelle:  DH and I also did a full catholic mass w/ communion.

That being said, we had an even number on each side– but the bridal party only ever stood up with us at the alter during the exchanging of the vows. The remainder of the ceremony, they stayed seated in the front row.

You could easily have your girls do a procession down the aisle before you (i’ve seen this with bridal parties even with groomsmen, the groomsmen were with the groom at the alter and only the girls walked– due to uneven numbers) Then just have your girls stay in the front row. Have only the MOH and your son (or if your FI winds up chooins a BestMan) stand with you at the alter during vows — or just be up there on your own exchanging vows.

I definitely dont think you need to un-ask them!

Post # 12
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@kalinanoelle:  I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.  Just make the focal point of most of your photos you and your husband (which is what it should be anyway), and at the ceremony maybe put 3 of your girls on your side, and 2 girls and your son on his side.  That way it wouldn’t look lopsided and you still get to include your friends and your sisters.

Post # 13
1234 posts
Bumble bee

@kalinanoelle:  Why not compromise? Instead of having them stand with you, give them seats of honor and mention them in the programs and still do the pte-wedding stuff? 

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