Post # 1
So sorry if I start ramble here, but I hope my story gets some chuckles out of you ladies… I know I’m still laughing about it in my head.
Boyfriend and I spent the weekend at my parent’s house this weekend (we live 3.5 hours away). He left to go back home yesterday afternoon while I’m staying a few extra days because I have the time off. Just some background about my parents so that you can understand where I’m coming from…
I absolutely LOVE my parents. They are super supportive of everything I do and I have a great relationship with both of them. That being said, we don’t normally talk about uber personal aspects of our life (aka relationships). While my mom doesn’t really care and will kind of say whatever pops into her head, my dad is more conservative and will leave the room if he feels the topic is leaning toward anything remotely uncomfortable. I tend to take after my dad in that aspect and am pretty private about my relationship with boyfriend in front of my parents. I figure I have enough girlfriends to blab to about my boyfriend and I don’t need to tell my parents unnecessary details….
Anyways!! After boyfriend left to go back home, I was sitting in the kitchen with my parents (minding my own business by the way) when out of nowhere my mom looks at me and says “When are you getting married?” Yes. Those were her exact words. I was FLOORED. My parents have NEVER brought up engagement/marriage to me. Ever. And then all of a sudden, there it was… out in the open. I didn’t know what to say. My dad starts cracking up and says “Look at you! Your face is all red. You’d think she just asked you about your OB/GYN exam!” WHAT?!?! Who is this man pretending to be my father, because my dad would never, ever say something like that. Now my face is like 10 shades of purple and my mom responds with “Yea, it’s not like we’re talking about your sex life.. it’s just marriage!” If I could have just melted into the floor, I swear I would have. My parents are both laughing their asses off and I somehow manage to mutter something about not knowing when we are going to get married.
So then my mom tells me that I’m lying!! “You two have been dating for 5 years and you haven’t talked about getting married?!” She starts talking to my dad about how they only have 2 or 3 years left to save up money for our wedding… and I’m just like…. is she even listening to me?! I told her that it wasn’t coming anytime soon and that I’d tell her when I knew anything.
I immediately texted my boyfriend after this convo (how convenient for him that my parents cornered me about marriage AFTER he left) saying “My mom just flat out asked me when we’re getting married. I think I’m going to let you talk to her about this one.” Unsurprisingly, he didn’t respond…but at least he got the message and I’m sure he knows we’ll be having a chat when I go back home in a few days. But MAN OH MAN I wish he had been there for the convo so I wasn’t the only uncomfortable one in the room. Anyways, just wanted to get that story off my chest… hope you enjoyed it!
Has anyone else had awkward convos with friends/family about future plans??
Post # 3
Yep! But mine involve my parents and grandmother saying I am running out of time to have kids (I’m only 26). Luckily I know when Mr. Tacos meets my folks for the first time, he’ll be asking permission for my hand. :/
Post # 4
My dad asked me the same thing, and I get asked that all the time from other ppl, my BF and I have been together for almost 8 years, but we’re only 24, so it’s not really a big deal to me, it was a bit weird coming from my dad tho, I kinda brushed it off lol. I didn’t really feel awkward about it, but I did tell my bf, then he told me that he’s been asked that a lot lately too!
Post # 5
Um, yes. My dad told me not to worry about having a hysterectomy someday…that it hasn’t interfered with their sex life (aka him and mom). LALALALALALLALA
No boundaries sometimes. I mean, really.
Post # 6
LOL ejs, I think I would have pooped my pants if my dad said that to me! My parents always tease me if I don’t answer the phone. When I call them back, they tell me “no hanky-panky!” they’re teasing of course, but I still get grossed out at the thought of linking my parents with that at all!
And Krissy, entirely too funny about your parents who usually don’t do that kind of stuff flat out asking you. My mom isn’t so timid about stuff like that. I’ve heard since the day we got married, “When are you having a baby?” Married for over 2 years now…
Post # 7
omg, lol! thanks for sharing that story
Post # 8
@2PeasinaPod, yeah, i know. When i say something like, “Aw gee can we not talk about that?” he says somethign to me about being an adult and being mature about it.
Sex doesn’t weird me out. I can talk all day about “inappropriate” topics and be an adult about it. Talking about sex with my PARENTS weirds me out and crosses the line of “i don’t want to talk about this” especially when it’s sex for fun, not “hey mom and dad, DH and I are trying to get pregnant”. Even then, the specifics are not up for discussion.
Post # 9
My mom and aunt have seem to have given up on the “ZOMG when is it going to happen?!” and moved on to talking like we already are… Ah well. I think maybe my aunt is passing on tips to my mom on how to get things to happen? I’m not certain.
We were at his parents’ the week before last, and thank heavens his sister’s ex was around, they got all of the “so you two should totally get married and blah de bah” instead of us.
Post # 10
Oh wow! Why didn’t your BF respond? Have you talked to him about Marriage?
Honestly, right or wrong, it makes people uncomfortable when a couple dates for a really long time and doesn’t say anything publicly about their future together. It’s normal and human to wonder if they plan on getting married and when people aren’t conforming it’s natural to ask why not. Although I never would say it to their face! We have a couple friend who has been dating for longer than us and didn’t get engaged until about a week ago. Up until that point we always felt super uncomfortable around them b/c here we are planning a wedding and we dont’ feel comfortable talking to them about it. And we knew the girl was pissed when we got engaged, they fought that night.
Post # 11
haha, it seems like parents have no problems putting their own kids on the spot. my parents ask me all the time when we’re going to get married but they never ask the mister!
Post # 12
Ugh – I wish people would stop asking the ladies when they’re getting married. It’s such an awkward spot to be put into – you either make your man look like a jerk who hasn’t committed yet even though you’d like to get married (or conversely you look desparate) or you come off as a woman that’s not thinking about the future!
I’ve been put into this exact situation as well and I never know what the right way to respond is. =/
Post # 13
@euro … I’m 24 too so even though 5 years is a long time to be together, I still feel so young! An engagement is coming though, I just don’t know when!! Boyfriend isn’t really the best planner and he usually just brushes me off when I bring it up 🙁 That’s why I told him it was his responsibility to talk to my parents!!! 😉
@ejs … I would DIE if my dad said that to me. My parents and I are just really private when it comes to things like that… Which is why I was SHOCKED when my dad said that to me.
@modern … we’ve briefly talked about marriage on and off for the past few months. But deff not enough that I could answer my mom’s question and give her a concrete answer about when a proposal was coming or setting a date. I know we’ve been together for a long time, but I really want to finish school before we moved forward (I’ll have my masters in about a month!!).. I was just shocked with how blunt my parents were with this!
@umi … I think I came out looking like someone who isn’t planning for their future, and that’s really not the case!! I’m finishing up school, looking for a job, etc. so marriage talk has just been put on the back burner for the time being. I was surprised my parents were pushing marriage for me even though I’m still not quite done with school yet!
Post # 14
I have a neighbor who comes over frequently for wine nights with my mom, me, and my best friend. When it is just us girls, she refers to my boyfriend as my ‘husband,’ the ‘fiancee,’ the ‘hubby,’ or other such names. She knows we are not engaged (in fact she asks almost every time I see her if it has happened yet, just as I do for her). WELL one day, my boyfriend was visiting at my parents house, and she called him my husband in front of him. His eyes bugged out, and he exclaimed “her what??” Everyone was laughing as I melted into my chair. Later I had to explain that she just says those things sometimes. He was still pretty skittish about “the M word” (marriage) at that point in time.
Post # 15
ok…..it is confirmed, your parents are hilarious! I would have been mortified as well.
Post # 16
lol! ive had moments like that with my family….when it come to my aunts and uncles i dont talk about anything like that with them! well dad and some of his family had got together one day and decided to call and see how we were doing since my fiance had just got home from deployment….the phone got passed to my uncle lenny and without missing a beat he asked me this….you finally come up for air? it was done after that…every damn one of them had a comment for me. im glad it was over the phone and not in person since my face was as red as a tomato!!!