(Closed) Awkward gift situation- help

posted 5 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
857 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I would buy it for yourself. Then, if it shows up, you can thank her and take it to wherever you bought yours to return. 

Post # 5
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I agree with buying it yourself if you really want it, but if it was one of my close friends, I wouldn’t have any problem saying something like, “Oh my gosh, Amazon must be giving you a big hassle exchanging that broken fondue pot! I’m so sorry you’ve had to mess with it.” And leave it at that. If it has just slipped her mind, then it will remind her to send it, and if she isn’t giving it to you, she has an out to blame it on Amazon.

Now, it’s all about the intent you say it with and the kind of relationship you have with the person. You can’t be passive aggressive or frustrated, you have to genuinely believe that it probably is a store error. And you have to know your friend – I know mine would receive that just fine.

But yeah, if you think at all that would be awkward, just buy it yourself and write it off.

Also, 3 instances for fondue in a month – go you!

Post # 4
Member
11227 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Since she proactively discussed this with you at your wedding, I think it is perfectly acceptable for you to politely inquire about it. 

You could say something along the lines of, “You know, I remember that, on my wedding day, you were so kind and thoughtful to have taken time to tell me something about an issue with the fondue pot that you so generously ordered for us and that there was a problem with the packaging and that you needed to re-order it or something.  However, in all honesty, because of all of the confusion that day, I’m not sure I am remembering this corrrectly.  I’m so sorry to bother you, but, could you please remind me of what you said? Thanks so much! :)” 

 

Post # 6
Member
4442 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

Buy it for yourself IF she ever comes through with it, just return it.

Post # 7
Hostess
11178 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Are you absolutely positive that she got it for you? I had a friend tell a similar story to me regarding a birthday gift….a year later no gift. I would buy it yourself if it is really something you want and save the receipt so that if she happens to finally give you the one she purchased you can return it for a full refund.

Post # 8
Member
9147 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Buy one for yourself but I don’t see anything wrong with asking her if she mailed her gift because it may have gotten lost in the mail.  Unlikely, but possible.

Post # 9
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Brielle:  I really strongly disagree with this.  I think it would be rude to ask her about it.  Just go out and buy it if you want it.

Post # 10
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee

I say buy it. Two fondue pots are better than one! Chocolate AND cheese!

Post # 11
Member
3485 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

Buy it for yourself and keep your receipt.  If she does end up giving it to you, you can return her’s (assuming it’s unopened) with your receipt.  

Post # 12
Member
1123 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@mamadingdong:  +1 ! or save the one she gives you, if she ever does, for a regift?

Post # 13
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@mamadingdong:  Best idea yet! And it goes so well with your screen name. Two fondue pots actually could be totally useful.

Post # 14
Member
11227 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

  

@Beckster329:  And, you may indeed be correct about this.

I often comment on the etiquette board, and, there, I generally am citing an established rule of etiquette and often will even preface my comment with an explanation that I am doing so. 

However, in this particular instance, I actually did not — and do not — know if it is considered to be permissable for an intended recipient of a gift to follow up on a conversation that was initiated by a self-proclaimed gift giver, if the gift has yet to be received.  I agree that in any case, the intended recipient could not ever properly ask, “Where is my gift?”  However, I was using my own logic to theorize that it may be acceptable to ask the person who initiated the discussion to kindly repeat what was said during a quick conversation on such a busy day.

Post # 15
Member
6209 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

@mamadingdong:  +1000. You could also do two kinds of chocolate, two kinds of cheese, two kinds of broth,  or do two at two ends of a longer table so everyone can reach.

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