(Closed) Awkward MIL situation and I need immediate help.

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 4
Hostess
18624 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Ouch, I would just try to talk to her and say that he was telling you this story and you said it in a joking manner.

Post # 5
Member
636 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Yeah, I would go with the ‘I was joking and it came out wrong/it just came out – that’s so not how i think of you…’ That is if it comes up, assess her mood first, she might not think it is that big of a deal.

Post # 7
Member
950 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Ditto! I’d also ask for FI to help in this…maybe he could pull you both aside & explain to his mom, with you there, how the conversation went, how you’ve both discussed each of your mistakes, & then let you handle it from there.  It might help for her to have some context as to how you were “joking”.

Good Luck!

Post # 8
Member
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Oysh, he needs to keep your private convos private, lol. I would just apologize sincerely to her and tell her you didn’t mean it the way it came out…not much else you can do!

Post # 9
Member
2058 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t know that I wouldn say anything – – I mean you’re reacting to FH’s story for present day reasons. There is so much havoc happening today with kids sneaking off etc… Back when your FH was younger and this happened it probably wasn’t that big of a deal that his mom wasn’t right there, you know….

If you do say something – what would you say? You both apologized and its over…

EDIT – – just read the posts..Ok I would tell her what I wrote above, LOL  I am sorry this got a blown up…

Post # 10
Member
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would put it on your FI to smooth things over. He blew it when he said it to her, he needs to fix it.

Post # 11
Member
636 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Ahh, tough.  Okay, can you just try and explain that it was just a gut reaction to the story, you think she is a great mom, now that you think about it you can see how the incident could have happened, etc? I mean, if it is a story where she comes off badly she should understand that.  Being stung by the comment at first is one thing, but she should be able to get over it.  Good luck! I hope it goes alright 🙂

Post # 13
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

I do think that your FI should not have said that to his mother but since you can’t go back now I would either let your FI talk it over with her since he knows how to calm her best or if you feel you should speak to her just let her know that what he said was out of context and that in that situation you don’t necessarily agree with what happened but everyone makes mistakes and you do not think any less of her for the situation or let her know your sorry you hurt her feelings and that is not at all how you meant it to come out.

Post # 14
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Ooh yeah you may just suck it up! Youch. That said, I snuck out all the time as a teen, and I certainly wouldn’t have said it was any fault of my parents being irresponsible… Teenagers will be very resourceful in getting out when there’s fun to be had!! I hope you remember this one when you’ve teens of your own, lol, I for one am dreading it hahaha!

Post # 15
Member
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I would tell FI he needs to correct it…you didn’t tell that to her face, FI blurted it because he was mad at you.  that’s not cool.  I would tell FI that you are truly sorry and go with him so he can tell your mother that you didn’t mean it (even if you did).  You can even both explain it to her.  But as an aside, you need to tell FI not to do that again.  It subtly breaks a trust between you two as a couple, making you second guess what you say to him in the future.  And it really shouldn’t be like that.

Post # 16
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Assess the situation when you meet up with her tonight. If she seems upset or mad just pull her to the side and say that you are sorry about what you said/how you said it and you think of her as a great mother, otherwise you wouldn’t be marrying her son! Also tell her that you realize that what you said may have “crossed the line” and you will take care that it never happens again.

Not that I blame you for what you said (or how you said it), I just think that in this type of situation the only way you can come out without making her more angry is to essentially take all the blame. Its a tough situation to be in, but if she sees that you “know you were wrong” she might go ahead and let it go, thus saving you two’s relationship and a headache in the future. Good luck!

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