- 3 weeks ago
- Wedding: June 2018
Just swinging by for a little rant / advice.
So my wedding is next June near my home in Buckinghamshire, UK. My parents live up in Nottingham, which is about a two and a half hour drive away.
My folks haven’t exactly been particularly excited about the wedding (they’re Christians and unhappy I lived with my partner before marriage, but I’ve made my peace with that) but the other day my mum made a crack about the wedding being ‘so far away’. She said I’d made it very inconvenient for them. I said that I was hardly getting married in Timbuktu, to which she responded ‘it may as well be to us’.
For background at this point, my parents have never been to visit me. They haven’t seen our house, didn’t come to my flat in London when I lived there and have no intentions of coming down despite repeated invitations.
Back to the wedding, I made the point that they’d never been to see me and this was the single occasion they’d have to travel – to which my mum just said that the tradition is that people get married in the bride’s home town.
Now, the main reason they’re annoyed about it being two and a half hours away is because my dad won’t stay in hotels (don’t ask me why, he just won’t stay anywhere that isn’t his own home or his campervan) so it’ll be a five hour round trip. I’ve offered to pay for a hotel, and have also offered them my house, which will be empty on the night of the wedding. Despite this, they say they have to drive home.
My mum also says my dad has ‘lost confidence’ with driving to unknown locations, so I’ve offered to pick them up at a train station the day before and get someone to drop them back the day after, but obviously this doesn’t help because they won’t stay over.
I’ve also raised the issue of my dad walking me down the aisle and where he’d meet me given they’ll be traveling down on the day, as I don’t really want to be hanging around in the car park outside the venue! To this my mum said ‘oh, do you want him to do that? We weren’t sure what happened at non Christian weddings’ (I’m not having a church wedding)
All in all, the whole thing is quite disappointing. Everyone wants their parents to be excited, but mine aren’t. Also, I’ve feel like I’m bending over backwards to assist, given I’ve made the ‘incomvenient’ choice of location.
Thoughts? Should I just leave it now? Call them out on their lack of enthusiasm? Or just leave them to it to make their own arrangements?