- 4 years ago
- Wedding: February 2014
This is by no means a new issue … I think almost everyone deals with this at some point in their wedding planning – I’m just looking for some more support/advice.
I apologize in advance for the wordiness, I tend to ramble.
I have a very close group of friends (there are 6 of us) from high school. Firstly, I did not ask any of them to be in the bridal party … My fiance had a very strong opinion on having a smaller bridal party, and I couldn’t choose one or a few of the 5 without picking the others, so I decided not to choose any and incorporate them in other ways (formal shots with them before the ceremony and they get a table by the head table at the reception).
Anyway, onto what happened. Out of the five – one is newly married, two are in long-term relationships, one is in a new relationship and one is single. All of their parents are invited. The friend in the new relationship, let’s call her X (and her boyfriend Y), is the centre of my story.
My guest list has been a very careful balance of guests and venue capacity – going so far as having C- and D-lists (I have a very large international family that mostly cannot attend, but of course I had to invite them before inviting others). Obviously these girls were on the A-list. I had sent their invitations before I had met Y. I did not give X or my single friend plus ones.
As of right now, two months out of the wedding, I’ve only met Y once – he was very drunk and I don’t believe we said very much to each other besides “nice to meet you.”
My RSVP date has passed, so I sent X as text asking her if she and her parents were coming, and received this reply: “I haven’t mailed my RSVP yet cuz I’ve been meaning to talk to you about whether or not I can bring Y. If it’s gonna be a huge deal to add him I’ll just tell him he can’t come.” and I replied, “I’m not sure about my numbers yet, but if we have enough no’s then he’s more than welcome. But I might not know that till January.” And as far as I knew, she was fine with that and it was over. Fast forward four days, and the girls were all over for brunch (a get together before Christmas), and I asked X if her parents are coming. She said, “No, they can’t, so Y can come.” Which caught me off guard and I said, “Well, no, I still have other people to invite before I can invite him.” To which she responded: “Well, two people can’t come, why can’t he come?” I explained that I still had a few people left on my list to invite first and that I didn’t know him that well, which made her upset. She didn’t respond, and a few minutes later, she said “quietly” to another friend, “Whatever, I’m not going to fight her about it.”
This situation was SO AWKWARD, and I completely understand that she wants her boyfriend there. And I honestly have ONE MORE no to receive before he can come. Now I just have such a bad taste in my mouth about the whole situation.
Thanks for letting me get this out, it’s been bugging me so much!!