Awkward Reception Moment- What would you do?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

OH BOOYYY… IMO, both parties were to blame. I would of asked her directly if he was invited or not so that this situation didnt happen..

 

BUT, you replied with 2 guests, and they should have caught that…

If you wanna make things right you can always offer to pay for the missed meal..

Post # 5
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Many people do not offer +1’s to unmarried couples, no matter how long they have been together/how much they are in love/blah blah blah because it’s not considered bad ettiquite, and it costs money for every single guest (no matter how rude it must have felt to you). They probably wanted to keep the guest count down in order to stay on budget and simply may not have been able to afford to add guests for “singles”… don’t feel bad, this happens all the time.  I wouldn’t feel embarassed though, because you truly didn’t know he might not have been invited.  This situation really sucks, but in the future, if there’s no +1 on your invite, assume you are invited to come solo… or call 🙂 haha

Post # 7
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@mohbestie:  Haha I see why you were confused… I think most people are at a loss when it comes to RSVP’s.  Many times they are worded in a way that makes you not understand who is invited, or how you should indicate who is coming, etc.  The invite says number of people because they were likely all printed/written exactly the same and some have multiple people invited per invitation. Honestly, I have seen people send them back completely blank before. Hahaha

Post # 8
Member
2429 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I would have asked the people at the table to make room or looked for a cocktail table or more empty table to sit at.  I probably wouldn’t have left because after dinner a lot of people get up and go to the bar or mingle or whatever and there are always chairs.   I also would have called or shot her an email before the wedding just to clarify if he was invited or not.

Post # 9
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I am so glad you posted this, I almost put “number of guests attending” on my RSVP, but decided against it for this reason, but I wasnt sure if I made the right choice! 

Post # 11
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@mohbestie:  Honestly its a confusing line because only one name is on the invite but the RSVP asking how many total guests, I totally get the confusion.  Its not your fault though, they should have paid attention to what the RSVP said, and if they had an issue with you having a +1 they should have contacted you. 

Post # 12
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@kpcascio:  It definitely is considered bad etiquette to not invite SOs (especially long term ones).

Personally, I would have asked about him and just declined for both of us if they said he wasn’t invited. But in the situation you were in, I understand why it was confusing. At the wedding, you also could have asked someone working (a server or the coordinator or something) what you should do so that you didn’t have to leave but didn’t have to bug them. We went to a wedding where there were too many people seated at our table (it might have just been a mistake or other people may have been moving their seats around), and their coordinator just handled it. A few people had to wait a couple minutes to be seated but it wasn’t a big deal, and I don’t think the bride & groom even knew about it.

I would not offer to pay for your meal, but I think they were rude in the first place to not invite him.

Post # 13
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Oh, and for anyone reading this who hasn’t done their own RSVPs yet, this is why we did Number Attending ___ of 2 (or whatever the number invited was).

Post # 14
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Ahh how awkward.  Yes, you should have called and ensured that he was invited, but how did she not notice that you put 2? I definitely noticed when people RSVPd for extra people, and called them! She definitely should have either called you and said they didn’t have room for him, or added him into the seating chart. 

Post # 15
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@magicmoments:  I SO wish we had done __ of ___ attending.  Ughhhh.  Lesson learned.

Post # 16
Member
2884 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I think leaving was all you could do at that point. For future reference -an invitation is extended to the people listed on the invitation. If it doesn’t specifically say “and guest” or “plus 1” then it is only for one person. You cannot adapt an invitation to increase the number of guests. I also don’t believe a phone call is necessary to clarify number of guests – if more than one is invited it will be apparent

Often, unless a couple is married or engaged, their SO will not be invited. People debate whether this is rude or not but that’s besides the point. To avoid cringingly awkward scenarios like this one – don’t bring a plus one unless they are explicitly invited!!

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors