Awkward situation and Bridesmaids dress question!!!

posted 3 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

$40 shipping? From where, Siberia? She put you in a really unfair position. I’m not sure what I’d do tbh.

Post # 4
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Can’t you all order your boots/dresses at the same time (same order) and either split shipping, or perhaps that will put your order over the free shipping minimum (most places have one). That would bring costs down quite a bit.

Post # 6
Member
1861 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

$120 for the dress isn’t bad, IMO. (I do understand that you’ve just lost your job, which sucks.) But the boots thing is annoying, especially if you’re the sort of person who wouldn’t wear them again. (I’m imagining cowboy boots — I wouldn’t wear them again and would be annoyed to shell out for them.)

PP’s idea to coordinate your orders together to combine shipping is a good one, and should hopefully reduce your costs. Make sure to cruise around Zappos, Overstock, DSW, etc, to see if you can’t find her precious boots on sale.

Otherwise, you can either bite your tongue and shell out for it (and plan to resell the boots later, maybe?), or tell her (again) you can’t swing the cost and you’ll have to step down. This shouldn’t be a huge surprise for her, given your previous conversation.

Post # 7
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@leahlou:  I guess so.  Either way, how PA of her to just send a Facebook message and go away where she knows you cant contact her. If you can’t swing it, you can’t swing it. But, she will probably drop out of your wedding as a result 🙁

Post # 8
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I don’t think it’s unreasonable, except for the boots.  I would order the dress and wear your own boots.  That’s great she got a deal on your BM dress, but realistically, BM dresses cost more than $17.  More like $150 – 200. 

Post # 10
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t think she should have to pick a $17 dollar dress for her wedding just because you chose one for yours. The dress is actually really reasonably priced for a bridesmaids dress. The boots really aren’t expensive either. I understand that it’s a lot of money for you at this time, but overall it’s pretty in line with what it costs to be a bridesmaid most times. I’d find a way to make it work or let her know that you won’t be able to be in the wedding.

Post # 12
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

You already told her you can’t afford it, and she acknowledged receiving that message. I would get a similar style dress and boots in the same colors she requested, and leave it at that…

Post # 13
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@leahlou:  Unfortunately though it is kinda normal to spend at least that much money. Most bridesmaid dresses are not cheap. If you cannot afford the $180 can you not just say to her that you will have to step down?

Fair enough if you can’t afford it – being a bridesmaid though comes with a financial aspect to it and I understand if this close to her wedding and with the other girls already having ordered their dresses that she doesn’t want to change them. Can you find something pretty much identical cheaper elsewhere and send that to her as an option? Maybe put a pic of the dress up here?

Post # 14
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Isnt her FI still around? I thought he was close with your FI? Why dont they talk about it?

I honestly dont think the total cost is unreasonable but she should have been understanding of your financial situation. My bridesmaids’ dresses are $190 and my MOH is a single mom of 3 who had lost her job so I paid for her dress. I know not every bride can do this so maybe she can’t help you. Again, I suggest your FI talk to her FI.

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