Awkward situation as a wedding guest

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
9541 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

You’ll get to meet more people, and get to know your BF’s family more, and they will get a chance to know you!

Post # 4
3403 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@kouklina:  I’m a 21yr old wife, & although I think her behavior was immature, I honestly think she just wanted to be the first in the family to be married. I don’t think it was anything against you or your future FI.

I don’t completely understand her rationale, as my then-FI’s older brother was married before us (while we were engaged) & I could have cared less, but I guess my only point is that I don’t think she meant it in a rude way toward you & your your future FI, even though it might felt like it for you.

I bet she doesn’t even know you feel odd about the situation. I would just forget the whole thing & move on.

I can’t wait to see your ring & hear about your proposal story! 🙂


Post # 5
79 posts
Worker bee

Your not going for her. I know its hard when someone whose marrying into the fam before you ( sorry 🙁 ) is also a bitc* to top it all off.


but your going for your boyfriend and his family! She’ll get too much of a kick out of things if you dont go. it will look like you cant handle the wedding happening before yours… 


and who knows having your boyfriend in the wedding party might spurr on his wedding thoughts and youll have that ring on sooner than you thought so! 🙂


Good luck, and TRY be happy for the bride.. She might be a bit snarky, but theres got to be something good about her to be marrying your boyfriends brother and its her day too, so just try and share the joy 🙂

Post # 6
7978 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I think you need to pull your big girl panties on and stop being immature. You call the bride immature for one comment made a long time ago but you are still holding some imaginary grudge and not wanting to go to their wedding because you are jealous that she has gotten a ring before you? Personally I think you are being immature and need to be happy for this girl and your FBIL. 

Post # 8
7906 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@kouklina:  Why do you want to avoid going to the wedding just over that? And you and your bf had better get used to her because (all going well) she’ll be your relative for life.

Also, I’m guessing that what she said was joking. or at worst only half-serious.

Post # 9
9956 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Hi @kouklina:  first & foremost I see this is your DEBUT post on WBee… so a BIG Welcome to “the Hive”

Ok for the record (as I am an Etiquette Snob.. lol)

Once upon a time the concept that your FSIL presented to you was the norm… older siblings married first, and younger siblings were asked (ordered) to wait their turn.

So her saying what she did may have come out of that concept of “Traditional Etiquette”

Lol, or else she is a romanticized fan of Jane Austen where such “traditions / customs” are seen so clearly

OR she might be from another culture…  where these sorts of things still hold true

— — —

At any rate, I truly don’t get WHY you’ve let this whole thing upset you so much.

(Good gosh it happened over a year ago)

You need to get over it.

The comments are about her being young are sort of silly… when you are the one acting the way you are (trying to get out of going to a family Wedding)

So what… she’s getting married first … big deal.  Be happy for her, her dream came true.  And she’s marrying YOUR FBIL.  So now you’ll all be family.

Honestly you need to go to this Wedding and put on a BIG smile… as you are the Bride in Waiting… people will want to see you two also

Show them what a FABULOUS addition YOU will be to this family one day.

It is your chance to shine in your own little way as well

(Lol, just don’t shine so brightly as to steal any of the spotlight from the Bride… as that wouldn’t be a good thing)

Hope this helps,


Post # 10
9541 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

@This Time Round:  I agree, so what she is so young? OP, you will find A LOT of young brides on this site, and you will find that age is usually completely irrelevant!

Post # 13
9956 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

To @Jacqui90:  I agree…

OP, as you’ll discover the more time you spend on WBee, that there is no one definition of “today’s Bride”… there are incredible women on this Website who range in age from their late teens all the way to who knows where (I am one of the oldest currently, but there have been women in their 60s & beyond)

Being in Love, and wanting to get married, is something that can happen at any point in one’s lifetime.

You never know when LOVE will come a-calling.

And as an Encore Bride, I have to say that that is a good thing.  AMEN


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