Post # 1
Awkward situation here! DH and I are TTC but haven’t told anyone… I mean, besides the Bee I have a few fertility challenges like luteal phase defect, endometriosis, heavy awful periods, and practically no CM. I’ve got 3 chemicals and a miscarriage under my belt. Due to this, I am particularly touchy about people asking when we’re going to have kids or if I’m already pregnant.
So, last week I had a pretty scary accident – fainted, cracked my head, and had an irregular ekg and super low blood pressure afterward. So many people heard and asked on FB if I was ok that DH posted a status update – ‘Ellebeerob is fine, just a dizzy spell caused by low BP.’ A lady we go to church with wrote “SO I’M GUESSING SHE’S PREGNANT?!” and before we caught it, probably 11 people ‘liked’ her comment, and more people started calling/texting/writing FB messages asking if I was pregnant.
I deleted it, but she pulled my husband aside at church and asked him in PERSON if I was pregnant! I don’t even know her that well! He did tell her that no, I was not pregnant but I do have something going on health-wise and that I was referred to a cardiologist and its pretty serious…hence why I wasn’t there. He just wasn’t going to advertise that on FB. So what does she do? That afternoon she sends me several texts in a row of some craft project she’s doing, asking for my help. Didn’t bother to ask how I was feeling, nothing. So her pregnant-or-not questions seem to be based on her own looking for gossip rather than actually caring about my well being. It kinda pissed me off so I didn’t respond. Its like… Sure! I’ll be right over with my hot glue gun right after I finish reading this literature from the hospital about how I might need heart surgery.
After typing this I feel like I sound like a brat, but I seriously don’t even know what to do when I see her this weekend. I know she’ll ask me about it, but I don’t even know what to say. I’m the least confrontational person on this earth. PS, I hate Facebook.
Post # 3
@ellebeerob: I don’t have any good advice because I am super nonconfrontational myself but seriously how freaking rude is she? You are very just in your reaction to her. She is just plan rude and nosey.
Post # 4
If it were me, and I know it’s not, I would post a quick blurb about how “In light of recent events, I’ll be focusing on my own health and my marriage. Since this is a personal health matter, I’d appreciate it if everyone would please not pry. If and when there is new to share, please trust that I will do so in an appropriate manner. Thank you for your patience and for respecting my/our wishes.”
You shouldn’t have to worry about people prying, and she sounds like maybe she is either inconsiderate, or trying really (too) hard to communicate with you while avoiding any baby subjects. Hugs, hun!
Post # 5
I’m trying to gauge how nice I should be when I see her… I don’t want to act like nothing happened because I feel like she needs to figure out she needs to back off, but I also hate awkward situations. I would feel awkward if I *wasn’t* nice to her since that’s not my nature.
Post # 6
i dont have any advice, but i hate FB for this crap too…
and i hope youre ok!!! that sounds so scary 🙁
Post # 7
Um, I would be livid. Personally, I’m very open and honest about my life, so I would tell her how offensive that was and give a general reason because she clearly has no idea how insensitive she is being…
Post # 8
@ellebeerob: You don’t sound like a brat at all – that’s so ridiculously rude. Seriously, beyond rude. Sorry you’re dealing with that and I hope you’re feeling better!
Post # 9
@ellebeerob: this is possibly the least bratty vent i’ve read on the ‘bee!
I would expect her to ask “how are you” when she sees you, so I’d have a response planned, something like “actually, I’ve been struggling with a health problem, and your public question about a pregnancy has made it quite difficult to deal with, because everyone is now harrassing me about it. but i’m feeling a little better now, thank you”. Something that is straight and doesn’t give her anything to argue with. If you want to go back to being friendly, you could then smile and say “and how are you?”.
Post # 10
@ellebeerob: People honesltly lose all sense of tact when it comes to thinking/talking/typing about pregnancy. Honestly, that was BEYOND rude of her! Why do people do that sort of thing on a public forum like FB?!
I agree with @hamikay: that you should be poilite, but get your point across. Let her know that she put you in the difficult position of having to deal with people pressing you about a personal issue WHILE actually dealing with a serious health issue.
I am somewhat snarky and have a hard time holding my tounge, so I’d probably add in that “I assume that she was asking out of worry and a good place. But while it may have been good intentioned, Facebook is never the place to ask personal questions like that.”
Good luck- let us know how it goes!
Post # 11
I don’t know how comfortable you are with this, but when you see her and she pulls the baby card, I would flat out tell her that you have fertility issues.
“Actually, I’m not able to have children, so it’s kind of painful when people ask us that.”
Even if you are able to have kids with all of these health issues, she doesn’t know this, and being blunt will put her in her place.
Post # 12
Did you delete her comment from FB? That’s what I would have done.
Post # 13
I disagree with telling her that you have fertility issues. That will just lead to more stupid comments like “Things happen for a reason” and “It will happen as soon as you relax”. You don’t need that on top of everything else that is going on in your life.
I would just respond to her text with something like “As you might have heard, I am struggling with serious health issues right now, so I won’t be able to help you with your craft projects.” And then just ignore her.
Post # 14
Wow, that’s rude! You are not being bratty at all. I would either be polite but set clear boundaries, or maybe be a little passive-aggressive. (Generally not my style, but she was so rude first.)