- 6 years ago
Background – My SO (30) & I (37) have dated 19 months, we discuss marriage, kids, and future plans openly, he asked for my parent’s blessing in June (he told me afterwards); we looked at rings in July/August, and he indicated he was ordering the ring last week. Caveat – my parents are just as anxious as I am!! Here’s the latest scenario:
Friday PM: my SO took the day off work to golf with my Dad, so we stopped at his office before going to a friend’s party that night. On his desk, there was a small box (big enough to hold a ring box and packing material). I knew what it was (and saw the return label), but pretended to ignore it in case he wanted to keep it a surprise. At first he left the box at the office, then he legitimately forgot something else, went back to the office and grabbed the box (I saw him put it in the back seat, but pretended not to notice – hoping for some element of surprise!!).
Sat. AM, when I was talking to my dear mother (who can’t keep a secret, but has been a wonderful, supportive listener throughout this waiting process), I mentioned the box. She said that on Friday, when my SO was golfing with my Dad, he said something like, “Do I still have your permission? I think the ring will be here today.” So all weekend, I just waited for him to make a plan (he waffled from golfing to going to a bookstore to yard work) since we had three full days with no set agenda for a change.
Sat. PM, we met up with my parents for a friend’s BBQ. Ironically, we sat at a table with family friends with their 24 year old daughter who just got engaged a few weeks ago, so there was lots of wedding talk (figured it was my last bit of torture before my day came)!
Sun. PM-Mon. AM – we spent time with my parents at their cabin. I couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed nothing happened by today since there were some obvious signs.
Tonight, my SO said he thought my Mom was acting funny towards him (she’s really just anxious and kept checking my hands every time we saw her; my Dad keeps a Poker face!). I tried to make light of it and said, “I’m sure that will change in time.” He asked what I meant…I tried to back-peddle, he said he wanted to know, so I caved…just told him that my parents are anxious like I am on moving things forward (I never mentioned the box). He keeps telling me to “let things breathe a bit” (his way of saying RELAX!). But now I’ve created this awkwardness between him and my family because they are just as anxious as I am!!
Clearly, I need to cool it, so I’m open to guidance…thanks for reading/listening dear bees!