Awkwardly just invited myself to a wedding!

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4760 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Thoes friends are rude as hell.  If your FI isn’t dead set on going then I’d be totally for not going to that wedding. 

Post # 4
Member
2291 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Central Park

If they said it was okay then just RSVP for 2 and go enjoy the wedding.

 

Post # 5
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

What’s the big deal? They said you are welcome to come if you want.

Go if you guys want to and just don’t go if you don’t want to because it’s far.

Post # 6
Member
4812 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’d feel pretty awkward too.  I probably wouldn’t go.  It’s very rude of them though, I agree!

Post # 7
Member
6812 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Maybe they didn’t want to say that they didn’t invite you because they never met you and are trying to keep the cost of their wedding low.  Either way, you weren’t actually invited and now you know that, so I just wouldn’t go.  Honestly, my own FI probably wouldn’t go if I wasn’t invited, but I’d tell him to go, have fun and I would have myself a nice little girl’s night that night or a night to myself! 

Post # 8
Member
362 posts
Helper bee

That really doesn’t seam that uncommon to me, espeshally if its a small wedding (just family and close friends) and your a stranger they have never met.  I know I do not want anyone at my wedding that we both don’t know closely and are important in our lives and it seams like they made arrangments for your fiancé to hang with his old friends so he wouldn’t be alone.  Wouldnt he have fun just doing that?  I would either get to know them and meet them in person before the wedding or just decline.  Now if it is a larger 100 person plus wedding then that would be less understandable 

Post # 9
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would go if your fiancé is planning on going.  My fiancé always tries to attend every wedding he is invited to.  Enjoy yourself, don’t stress out about it.  Unless it is a small, intimate wedding, it should be all good.

What’s awkward is that my fiancé and I were invited to a wedding of one of his college buddies.  I had met him and his fiancée before, but when I got there, the groom mixed me up with one of my fiancé’s ex gfs and the bride didn’t even remember we had met before!!  O.o

Post # 10
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Weird move on their part. I’d go, if you want to that is. 

Post # 11
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Definitely a bit weird on their end, probably hoping he would just come alone and keep their costs down.  I wouldn’t feel weird going, though, assuming its not a tiny tiny wedding. 

Post # 12
Member
3442 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@howsweetitis:  Yeah, I totally agree with your feelings. I would feel the same way.

If they know you are engaged, which clearly they do, then not inviting you and inviting your FI alone is really really weird and would make me uncomfortable.

I also wanted an intimate wedding, but I definitely invited engaged friends FI’s even if I didn’t know the FI personally.

Post # 14
Member
2720 posts
Sugar bee

They’re rude and I wouldn’t go because they didn’t want you there in the first place. I don’t like going where I’m unwanted. If it were me and DH, he would probably decline since he doesn’t like going to weddings. 

Post # 15
Member
6859 posts
Busy Beekeeper

If your fiance is not insisting on  attending, I’d send along  regrets. I, too, don’t like to go where I am so obviously not wanted.   If he does plan  on attending, I supposed I’d hold my nose and go since these people are so graciously  (not) “allowing” you to come.   The thing that really bothers me is that the guy 1) actually  knew the etiquette involved and 2) was lying, nevertheless.

Post # 16
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@howsweetitis:  6 hours away and they aren’t close?  In that case I would send my regrets.

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