Post # 1
I’m having a bridal party dilemna. Two people I want in my wedding have very ill feelings toward two other people who for sure will be in the wedding. My FI has asked his best friend to be the best man, I want to ask one of my friends to be a bridesmaid but she just so happens to be best mans ex-fiance. He broke it off, she was crushed. We are really good friends and I’d love for her to be in the wedding but I don’t want her to feel awkward seeing him, especially at a wedding. Then dilemna 2 is that I want to ask another one of my best friends to be in the wedding but I have already asked her “arch-nemesis” to be a bridesmaid. The two had a huge falling out in college and no longer speak, and they still don’t have very nice things to say about each other. I trust that neither of them would say anything on the day, but I’m worried thats taking too big of a chance. Thoughts??
Post # 3
I think the best thing would be to check with your potential BMs to see how they’d feel, and if they think they could handle being in the Bridal Party with the other two. That way if they ultimately feel like they should decline, at least they know, you were wanting them to be in the Bridal Party.
Post # 4
I say you ask everyone you want to ask and expect them to act as mature adults and be respectful of one another. If you mean that much to these people they will do anything they can to make your day wonderful. Maybe when you are asking them to be BMs mention that you know how amazing and mature they are and that is why you didn’t hesitate asking them to be BMs given the situation, maybe it’ll sent a precedent from the beginning.
IF they do go the drama route, tell them how disappointed you are that they didn’t respect you enough to not cause drama considering it will all be in preparation for the happiest day of your life. Usually if you tell someone you are disappointed it gets the message across and they shape up. Although, I could see how that would cause stress on you.
I wish the best for you, I hope it all turns out well!
Post # 5
Ask who you want. Tell them who else is in the wedding. If they have a problem with it, they’ll let you know I’m sure, then you can politely say, “I’m sorry you feel you can’t be in the wedding because they so-and-so will be there.”
Post # 6
I think you should be talking to them. Explain how you feel about them all and maybe this can be a time to build some bridges.