Aww, I feel bad now!!

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
1951 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@HonoraryNerd:  Let your FI handle it. If I were in her shoes, I’d definitely be disappointed. You offering to compromise is more than fair. Hope it all works out!

Post # 4
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I’d leave that to your FI to settle with his family.  Discuss your thoughts with him but I wouldn’t want to jump into such a delicate family situation.  Like any family, they must have a lot of complicated dynamics at play. 

Post # 5
Member
8706 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’d be pretty disappointed if one of my brothers “snatched up” the family heirlooms.

Post # 6
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Maybe they wanted the sets to stay together?

Post # 7
Member
1864 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Just make sure your fiance knows that you are more than willing and wanting to give her her mother’s ring. I think it’s very nice of you to feel bad about this and not think of it as just for you. Quite frankly, I think that she absolutely should receive one of the rings and if her dad’s ring is too complicated to resize, then give the other one. 

Post # 8
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@HonoraryNerd:  I’d say let your FI and FILs solve it. It’s ok to feel a little bad, but it is not your fault.

Hope it all works out!

Post # 9
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Ranch

What I would personally do is give the ring to my FSIL. Not saying that is the right thing, but to me that would be the right thing to do. I know that it would have a lot more meaning to my FSIL than to me. I wouldn’t even think about it or question my decision. It sounds like she is nice since she didn’t even ask for the ring.

Post # 11
Member
474 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 1993

You can only do so much.  Offering to give her your ring would be the right thing to do but, if she is really kindhearted, she may refuse, not wanting to take something that had been already given to you.  Let your FI be the guiding light in this but you may just have to out and out give her the ring.  The best thing is to follow your FI’s lead in resolving the situation.  I’m sure it is an innocent mistake somewhere along the line but it is very hurtful to her nonetheless.  Your kindness and flexibility will serve you well with your future in-laws (her included) if you resolve it in a way that makes her feel special.

Post # 12
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Aw I feel bad for her.

Post # 13
Member
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 1993

Can you talk to his parents? See what they want to do.  Maybe they forgot. 

Post # 16
Member
474 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 1993

Then I would let it rest for a while and see how she is when you see her next.

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