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we're not allowing anyone under 16. suprisingly, ive had no issues. most parents enjoy a night away. but expect some backlash. some people will bevery offended that their children are not welcome.
you could arrange babysitting or reserve a room upstairs at the hotel for all the adults to drop off the kids...then they could pop in to check on them throughout the night.l
but once you make a decision, draw a line in the sand. if you allow some kids, you will have to allow them all. also, do you plan to have ring bearers and flower girls? family will ask, why are such and such kids allowed and mine arent?
its your wedding, if you dont want kids there, dont allow anyone to push you into it. you'll just be irritated every time you hear one cry (and believe me, there will be crying and there will be kids running around, possible sticking a gross, booger covered finger in your cake)
I think "no kids" makes most sense if the wedding you are having is small and intimate. But I think any more than 50 or so guests, and there's no reason to not invite children. Babies don't cry all the time, and hopefully your family/friends will know to escort the babies out.
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I agree with ThePinkSuperHero {hilarious name, btw} in that babies and kids don't always act up. They don't cry 24/7 and most kids know how to behave. It's your choice though, but don't be shocked if people don't come because they don't want to leave their young baby at home. I have no issue with it, but many people do.
On the flip side, our daughter was invited to a wedding in the Fall where she would have been the only other kid besides nieces/nephews of the b&g and I turned them down. LOL It's going to be quite the par-tay, so I want to be able to enjoy myself and I can't really do that if I have her with me. She's fun and easy, but still my responsibility if she's there. I'm such a bad mama.
I feel like babies under a certain age are okay because they won't be running around and creating chaos. The assumption is that the parents would take them out of the room if they start screaming. We aren't inviting any kids to our wedding with the exception of our neices and nephew (3, 5, and 8) who are in the WP, and my first cousins (11 and 15). However I have told our friends who have young babies that if they have to bring them, we're okay with babies... they aren't a "meal" and they won't be running around behaving poorly.
You can do several things- ban the children, allow the children or provide a babysitter for them at the venue.
My fiance is a pediatrician and I am a nurse- so we don't mind the noises kids make. We did however have one friend whose 3 year old child we KNOW loves to scream. So we flat out did not invite that family. (I know you guys will hate me for it but we didn't think it was right to say- "you can come but not your kids- but hey you know our other friends who are coming? They ARE bringing their kids!")
The age range we have is: 9 month old, 2 two year-olds, a four year old, a five yr old & a six and seven yr old. I don't think the parents would mind tending to their own kids. As a matter of fact I think because we are having a destination wedding there would be an increased anxiety for one parent to leave the kids with a babysitting service just to leave the kids....
So we considered having a sitter COME to the wedding venue during the reception and entertain the kids. So they get to see mom and dad but they also will be around.
Maybe you can find some teenagers to babysit and entertain the kids? I did some research and found some nifty lil activities kids can do while at the wedding that won't necessarily cause grief. and the parents can still take the time to check in on their young ones. The service I found brings ceramics, coloring, twister, scavenger hunts, board games etc to keep the kids occupied.
But I agree, some babies are so angelic and you won't even notice them. For the nine month old we are bringing a portable playpen so the mom can let the baby rest. And there is a bridal room I was going to let the mom go to if she needed to take time for the kiddo.
I think it will work out. Having babies around- the parents read their child's needs pretty well and will excuse themselves if necessary. And if the parents feel uncomfortable doing that to you or taking the baby maybe they won't attend the wedding or will send their spouse and leave one parent home with the baby....
After having been a mom for all in maybe five minutes..I realized that babies cry. And babies cry loud.
That being said, anybody who is a good parent will not allow their child to disrupt a ceremony for more than it takes to walk them out of the sanctuary or venue.
I myself have done that for my own son. As for if they'd just invited me and not my child, I probably wouldn't have attended a wedding at all.
Children also make some joyous outbursts at weddings and can bring a smile to many faces. Trust in the fact that hopefully your relatives also realize what I learned after immediately becoming a mom and that they will choose to be responsible parents and watch their children at your wedding.
<address>My neice was a baby when I married my xh. There were in fact THREE kids under the age of 2 and countless kids at the wedding. None disrupted anything. And they were so cute on the dance floor the (can't get the damn italics to turn off..sorry) with the ones who were able to walk.</address> Wedding_dress_for_sale.jpg (40.6 KB, 42 downloads) 1 year old IMG_0351.jpg (1472.2 KB, 32 downloads) 1 year old IMG_0350.jpg (1386.1 KB, 27 downloads) 1 year old 
We'll have about 10 children at our wedding (ages 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 10). Eight of them are in the wedding party (all neices and cousins). The others are children of dear friends from across country who simply wouldn't be able to make the trip without them.
Due to space limitations at our venue, we could not invite the children of other friends. With about 75% of our guests from out of town, a couple of folks have already declined and a few others will be coming without their wives (who are staying home to care for the kids).
Were it not for that, though, I'd say "the more, the merrier!" Smarty and I LOVE kids and we're treating our wedding as a fun and joyous celebration. (Heck, kids outnumber adults in our wedding party 2:1, and that's including me and FI!) We know that little ones don't always behave, and we're cool with that. For the most part, though, they tend to act better than some adults I know! Short of one of them puking all over my dress or maybe knocking the cake over, there's little that any one of them can do to ruin the day. I'm getting married, afterall! :o)
It's really your call, though. You know the little ones in question and what they're capable of. Your family should respect whatever decision you make.
I'm with you Craftypants!
I'm much more tolerant of a little one whose tummy might not feel too well after downing four cups of fruit punch and two slices of cake vs. a drunken uncle who had eight beers then danced like Tony from Saturday Night Fever on the dancefloor ...
Personally, I definitely want the little ones at me wedding. They are my family too and I can't imagine them not being part of this (to be fair, it's not a large wedding and none of my friends have kids so all the kids are family at my wedding). I love kids and I don't mind their cries, and I am more than used to having a ton of them running around cramped spaces like during all of our holiday gatherings. If the flower girls don't walk down the isle nicely (they're only 2!) I just feel like it will make the day even more memorable and give everyone a good laugh. I definitely understand that some weddings really just don't call for kids though. It's a personal choice and I don't think one way is right and the other wrong. Some parents may not be able to go though if their kids aren't able to either. As someone else mentioned, you could always have a kids only table and hire a babysitter or two for the night! We aren't having a kids only table, but I am being sure to sit them all close to each other and have activities on the table for them to do to keep them occupied because a sit down dinner just isn't that interesting for kids :p
If you aren't comfortable allowing children, I don't think you need to! Would they bring their kids to a $100 a plate charity dinner? NO! If it's a special and fancy occasion, I think you should make it clear that the goobers are not invited. But as stated above, the rule has to apply to everyone. Also, I think that if you say no kids you should provide a babysitting room w/sitter to accomodate your guests. Explain to the mom that you have planned a very fancy occasion, and you have chosen not to invite children. I don't think she'll be too disappointed. And if she throws a fit and doesn't attend just because her kids (who could give a $hit about it, really) aren't invited, then I say good riddance!
I'm all for having kids at weddings... that said it's your day and your decision to invite or not invite someone. Be prepared for the parents to decline the invite if they don't want to leave their kids home or can't make alternate arrangements for them - especially if they're travelling to your wedding. When sending invites, be clear to address it to Mr. & Mrs. only and be have a well thought out response for dealing with questions (telling a parent you think their kid will "ruin" your wedding might not go over so well!)
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I felt pretty strongly against the idea of having kids at the wedding. We will have my nephew and my FH's nephews and niece in the wedding party but are not inviting any other children. With our save-the-dates, we included information about the "no children policy" in order to give our guests plenty of time to make alternate arrangements. Unfortunately, if you invite some kids (with the exception of those in the wedding party) you have to invite all...that would have meant 30+ on my side, 5+ on my FH's side, plus about 50+ for our friends. That's more kids than adult guests! The most important thing is making a decision and sticking to it--and be understanding when some invitees decide not to come because of this decision.
I'm having an intimate island wedding, and we said absolutely no kids, no way. I love kids, but I don't want to hear them at the wedding, and I want to have fun with the adults. We want a fun celebration where everyone is relaxed, not watching and worrying about the little ones. Plus, kids kinda kill the romance, and we want super romance for everyone. And it may be rude, but I don't want the baby cry in the background of the wedding video. Our reception back home for 150 is adult only as well. I feel like, all my friends got to have their weddings without kids, and I should be able to as well. And my FI and I had a talk months ago, where we decided if someone doesn't want to come because their little one can't come, then so be it. We feel we could get a babysitter for one night, so they should be able to as well. We just want an intimate romantic environment.
Thanks so much for all of your advice. I forgot to mention one of the kids (15 month) cries all the time and the mother thinks it's adorable when he does. That is my problem with the kids at the wedding. I don't think she will be taken out of the room.
I personally do not want children at my wedding but the problem i am running into is that my 3 children and my fiances 2 girls will be in the wedding party. I know i am going to step on toes with my family but what else am i to do? Our family has a large number of kids and they would almost be half of our guest account if we invited them. Personal decision i guess.
I don't think there are hard and fast rules about this. You should do what you're comfortable with. If you think that there are people likely to just tote them along, you might consider providing childcare if your budget allows. But no, regardless of size I don't think you are obligated to invite anyone you don't want to...this includes children of other guests. Taht said, especially if they are OOT guests, doing what you can to help them out might be a good way of making sure the parents can attend.
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The only kid that will be at my wedding is my 4 year old son. I think that it is a peronal preference and what ever makes you happy is what you should do. I would just simply say that it is not personal that you love their children dearly but, you choose to not have children at your reception. How can they argue with the choice you made for YOUR wedding.
I think it is a personal preference too. We had four children in our wedding (our 3 year old daughter, our 2 - 3 year old nephews and our 2 year old niece). We had 2 baby sitters at the hotel to watch all the children during the reception. We did not invite any other children. We had an adult only reception and everyone had a blast. I did not get any complaints from any of my guests. You need to do what you feel is right.
We're not inviting children to our wedding. The only child there will be my fiance's 5 year old daughter who is the flower girl. It's going to be a formal occasion, and it's not to say that kids are going to ruin it, but, there are those children who would try their best to ruin it. If there are people who are not going to come because of their children, then I totally understand, but we gave people notice of a little over a year when we sent the save the dates out.
It will be clearly written on the invitations that no children are allowed. If they don't like that, then they don't have to come. I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but we're really doing a lot to ensure that we have a completely beautiful day for the both of us.
We are having a rather small wedding, primarily just family. Somehow 21 out of the 100 people on our guest list are kids. My FI is not a fan of kids & screaming, but I could not imagine excluding our cousins, niece, & siblings. Yeah, I'm not really that thrilled about the chaos that will probably ensue halfway through the reception, but I definitely want to share our special day with all of my family.
We are allowing kids that are family only (nieces, nephews, cousins). We are not allowed kids of friends. Our family would be respectful enough that if the baby caused a disturbance they would take them somewhere else.
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I agree that you should not have to invite children if you do not want to. We are choosing not to have children at ours because we want the adults to be able to have a good time without having to worry about watching their kids. Now, I know there are some parents that don't worry about watching their kids anyway in a wedding reception/family gathering setting ("There's plenty of people to keep an eye on them, I won't have to watch them every minute we're there!"), and we're trying to avoid that situation as well. Because we're having a videographer, I don't want the footage of our vows to be marred by a baby starting to cry.
And in regards to the people that won't come because their precious little child isn't invited, it makes me wonder if these people ever choose to go anywhere without their kid. How about to their company's annual adults-only, semi-formal holiday party? Do they sit out and pout because their little one isn't invited, or just take the kid anyway? No, they don't--THEY GET A SITTER! Why should your request for a child-free wedding be regarded any differently? It shouldn't--THEY SHOULD GET A SITTER!
Parents: Not everybody loves to see junior running around and hearing all the noises and sounds he makes as much as you do. Please respect the decision a couple makes to not include children. As you can see, with all the grief we get from friends and family, this decision does not come without difficulty.
I think if you don't want to invite children, you're not obligated to do so. I have found that many people have opinions (most of them strong) on this issue and you simply can't please everyone. I'd say think about it and talk it over with your fiance. Based on your venue, timing and guest list, make a decision and stick it it. If you don't want to include children, there's nothing wrong with that. I also get really upset/offended when people assume that if you don't want to include children at your wedding, it automatically means you dislike children. I love kids, but I didn't know if they would be comfortable at our evening wedding. We decided not to invite anyone under the age of 16 to our wedding and I'm still happy with our decision. Some people weren't pysched about it, but everyone dealt with it and there was minimal drama.
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I am on the no children side. That being said, we decided to allow children of parents who have to travel. In our case, this only applies to 3 families (7 kids) and we are pretty sure one family not be attending due to a new baby and the travel arrangements. However, one family for certain believes kids should be kids and generally allows their daughter to do what she wants which included loug giggling and playing under a chair at a friend's wedding. They have already asked if it would be okay to bring children(3yr old daughter and 8 month old baby at the time) since they wanted to make a week long vacation out of the trip so we didn't feel we could ask them to leave the kids at home or force a strange babysitter on them (the kids speak German). In the end, I explained that he church as a playroom/cry room if the kids have trouble sitting through the ceremony and there is a hotel across the street from the reception where they could stay and sneak out to tuck the kids in and we would help get a babysitter to watch them sleep and I don't think this will be so bad. I also warned them that we are not inviting other kids so their daugher (3 at the time) may get lonely. I guess you have to take these things on acase by case basis. If they plan to attend with kids, we will most likely ask if she would like to be a flower girl but if they decide they want a child free evening we won't have one. Luckily for me there anre no hcildren in the family.
I feel very strongly against babies (under one year) at my wedding. Unfortunetly my MOH is being very difficult on this matter so on MY wedding day (not to sound bridezillaish ;) ) she is insisting on bringing her baby or else she won't participate. I was a bridesmaid at her wedding the day after suffering a miscariage. I am super pissed that the baby will be coming but figure it is not worth loosing a friend over it, although it definetly makes me view her in a different light.
While babies don't cry all the time, parents can also be selfish and I have seen it time and again...not at weddings, but at movie theaters...parents bring a newborn and the kid cries and they sit there! Hello? Everyone else paid to see the movie too. Either go to the cry room or leave your baby home with a sitter!
So if you don't want kids there, I completely understand. I understand the backlash too, but people just need to be respectful.
I think children are apart of everyday life. If parents want to attend and can not find a babysitter you should at least allow them during the ceremony that way parents are not restricted from coming. Remember anyone who would probably babysit for that parent is probably coming to the wedding. But I am a parent so I am a little biast (spelling wrong I know) my children as well as all of my family's children will be there. Most parents will leave with their children before it gets late so that you will have a portion of the evening with just adults.
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Hello I am having a problem with family members wanting to bring their babies to my wedding. There is a 2 year old, a 15 month old, a 5 year old. I love them very much, but I don't want them to ruin my wedding. Does anyone have any thought of how i can handles this. Also do you gals believe that little kids should be at weddings. Thanks!!