- 9 years ago
- Wedding: June 2009
I am one of the many out there engaged (or married) to someone who has a child from a previous relationship. I love lil K and am so happy she is part of our life. We have a lot of problems with Lil K’s mom though. I really think she’s just insecure and afraid her daughter will love her dad more and that I wlll try to replace her. I of course would never even try to do that and am always careful not to overstep my boundaries. Her mom is a little unstable. She has severe mood swings and one day she is super nice to FI, but just as suddenly the next day she will hate his guts. It’s really hard to deal with because you never know what to expect.
The current drama is due to child support / taxes. Lil K goes to private school. FI agreed to pay half of tuition if he can claim her on his taxes every other year starting this year. Mom said ok. Well, FI fell behind (due to a job change) for a couple of months. Mom got mad and said he wasn’t claiming her. FI said fine.. I won’t pay for school anymore. Mom got scared and told him she needed to claim her she really needs the money. FI told her that he would let her if she agreed to sign a document specifying that no back child support is owed.
He doesn’t owe her back child support. However, there was a period in time, while they were kind of (on again off again) dating and being friendly, that he paid her in cash. She was in the red at her bank and didn’t want to be paid by check. He was working for cash so this was best for him too. Now everytime she gets pissed at him or he says he wants to modify the parenting agreement she says.. "go ahead.. try.. I’ll sue you for back child support". Totally not cool!
Well, now that she agreed to do this FI called his lawyer. It’s going to cost $2,500 as a retainer fee to get the lawyer to draft the document. We can’t afford that right now. What do we do? We need the agreement signed and the lawyer has told him in the past that people in similar situaions who did these type of agreements on their own got screwed becuase the babies’ mamas claimed that they only signed them becuase they were under diress and that they in fact were owed back child support.
I need some advice! sorry this is so long winded but any help would be appreciated. What should we do? How do we get this signed and make it official without the lawyers help? How do we word it?
Ps.. Right now we can’t even tell Lil K that we are engaged because we’re afraid that if her mom finds out she wont agree to sign the paper. She’s paranoid and she’ll probably think we’re having her sign it so we can take her back to court to get custody. I hate that the most important person in our lives can’t know that we’re engaged!