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I'd say it really depends on how you both handle stress and what kind of wedding you're planning! I wasn't pregnant while planning a wedding but had a very DIY low-key event, we also bought our house at the same time and have been renovating it this past year {while I have been pregnant}. From my experience it wouldn't have been too much to plan a wedding while pregnant, but I can't speak about trying to host one with a young child! That I imagine would be a lot more stressful... you'd definitely want a relative or close friend on baby duty during your event.
That said one of my cousins-in-law is doing just that, her baby turns one next month and they're getting married in the summer. It'll be a low-key backyard event, but it can definitely be done!
Good luck!
if you're planning something low key, i think you could do it. i would just be careful that you don't have the baby too close to the wedding, because i'm not sure you would want to leave your reception to go pump or breastfeed!
what about moving the wedding up a year? is that an option?
If you want to wait until the wedding and he wants to start now why not push the wedding up? What are the reasons its so far away? Could you have a small wedding in 6 months say and already be pregnant or just starting to try? I know people who've had a kid before the wedding and it really isn't that big of a deal. Whatever works for you and your family.
Why don't you guys just push the wedding up? I know weddings are expensive but so are babies. Just wondering what factors would keep you from getting married within the next two years, but aren't stopping you from starting a family immediately. It's kind of counterintuitive.
As a 33 year old woman myself, I completely understand the burning desire to start a family right away. Waiting the next 9 weeks to TTC is killing me, I can't imagine waiting another 2 years. Of course, that's why we're having a short engagement. :)
We had 3 babies before getting married. Our running joke was that every time we'd discuss planning a wedding or start looking at venues, etc., I'd get pregnant again and we'd backburner it.
We ended up with a last minute, unplanned JoP ceremony with our kids, parents and siblings. It was perfect and exactly right for our situation.
@kitzy: That is one of my concerns..,., It would be just my luck having the baby too close to the wedding.. I would say we are planning a small wedding.. $15k budget... nothing over the top... Just thinking about moving the wedding up a year which will be in 7 mths makes my tummy hurt... I am sure it is an option...
I think this weekend we are going to have to set down and really map out how we went everything to transpire.
That's the thing ... you don't know how long it will take to get pregnant. You might get lucky the first try or it might take a year or more. You might be pregnant on your wedding day!
I would def find a way to push your wedding up. Even if you have to take a few things out to make it happen.
@Mz.MM: It's not hard to plan a wedding in under a year. My engagement will be 7 and a half months when all is said and done and it hasn't been difficult at all.
I'm sure it'd be a LOT harder with a baby, though. Honestly, it doesn't make sense to have a two year engagement when you:
1. Don't need to for budgetary reasons.
2. Are anxious to start a family.
3. Are older and thus, aren't waiting to finish school or anything like that.
I say bite the bullet and start planning, girl! It's really not as scary as it seems.
FH and I have a 17 month old daughter together. We unexpectedly got pregnant when we were engaged, and I didn't want to be pregnant at my wedding, so we decided to wait... then my dad's job moved him to Germany for a year and he had a limited number of days he could come back to the US without losing his overseas tax break, and I just didn't want to risk him not being able to be there. So when he came back, we finally started planning again and it's not been hard with the baby. I mostly do my planning while she's napping or after she's gone to sleep, and when I've met with vendors, either her dad or another family member keeps her so I'm not distracted. One thing I'd caution is I'd get married BEFORE having the baby only because once they come, you feel so guilty spending any money on yourself. Every penny I commit to this wedding I think, "But how could that have gone to Channing.." and it sucks! Typical parental guilt, all parents do it. But it would be so much easier to just plan the wedding you want and not feel bad about it.
Thanks Ladies... I guess we could move the wedding up.. I originally wanted to plan a 11/11/11 wedding but thought 9 mths was not enough time to fully excute a wedding... since I am soo undecisive and all...
Up until 28 years of age I was very adament that I did NOT want any children. But within the last year or two it is all I think of...
All of your imputs really put things into perspective and it really helps see things in a different light... 
@lezlers: your response made me smile.. 
and you just may make my hubby to be smile too!!!!
Yay! Glad to help. :D
I'm telling you, 7 months was/is PLENTY of time for me. In fact, I wish the wedding was sooner! Short engagements are also great for indecisive brides, as it forces you to make decisions in a timely manner. Less time to hem and haw = easier time making decisions.
Hmmm.... My good friend is currently due in March and will have their wedding in September but it's too early to say how that's going to work out planning wise. My engagement was 8 months long (Jan to Sept, we spent $12k) and honestly, it could have been shorter. It all depends on how you work I guess. 9 months is plenty of time to find good deals and get things in order. Shoot, if you can grow a baby in that amount of time surely you can plan a wedding! ;-)
As long as there is enough time between baby and wedding you should be fine. I think by the time the baby is 3 months old you are probably into a routine and can start planning a wedding. 6 months is more than enough time to pull together a wedding assuming you already have your thoughts/ideas gathered.
I was engaged for 11 months, but the first 6 months I was working full time, finishing grad school, and we purchased a house. We used that time to casually collect thoughts but really all of our planning was done in the last 5 months with plenty of time to spare.
Assuming you have 19 months until your wedding you could do something similar assuming you got pregnant easily. You would be pregnant for 9 months (plan for baby and a wedding), take a few months (3-4 months) off of wedding planning to enjoy the baby, and then have the rest of the time (6-7 months) to finalize the details!
If I may give my humble opinion, I'd get married first. Legal protections, same last name, health insurance stuff. Having a baby takes up A LOT of time and potentially money. Plus right or wrong, some people still hold a stigma against unwed mothers. I of course do not have a problem with it, but some people do. When my daughter's father and I did not get married before the birth of the baby, it was pretty scadalous to my older relatives.
I have to add another vote for moving the wedding up. Even though we had a 1 year engagement we did about 90% of the wedding planning in the last 6 months. Actually we booked all of the major things (venue, photog, dj, decorator) in about 10 days. (We were long distance to our venue so we had to do it quickly, but if you're indecisive like me then having a short deadline really helps. Good luck!
We planned our wedding in 4.5 months. Engaged at the end of April, married in mid-August. Also, we decided before that to either get married or have a baby. I got pregnant first with Moose. It was a really bonding experience. I say you can do baby and then wedding, but you could, as PP stated, move the wedding closer. Which ever you feel most comfortable with doing.
@TheFutureMcBride: Wow @ 4.5 mths... oh my I get nervous @ just thinking about it.. Thx
Don't have children out of wedlock. Just do it the right way -- start trying on the night of your wedding.
why don't you just go to the courthouse and get married, and then have the bigger ceremony after? that way your child is born in wedlock, same last name, no healtlh insurance issues. it's just easier...
I dont see a problem having children out of wedlock..its totally up to you and what you believe. I think its a good idea to move the weeding up..you can do it!! Good Luck in whatever decision yall make!!
@Mz.MM: When we picked our date, it was based on having another baby and when our family could all be there. I'd never heard of long engagements until I came here.
I'm due in march and i had my wedding in nov. We had gotten engaged last feb. and when we found out i was pregnant in july we moved up the wedding to nov. It wasn't that hard to plan and we had a much smaller budget. I think in all we spent at the most 5k. I'm sure you could make it work in 7 months and it will be beautiful.
Another vote for moving the wedding up. If you two are this eager to have a family ASAP, why not get married ASAP?
Regardless of your personal beliefs, it's completely rude to say that there's a "right" way to have children. There's more than a few women on these boards who had children with their SO's before marriage, including myself, and it's judgmental and hurtful to insinuate we did it the "wrong" way.
Being very traditional, I don't "agree" with kids before marriage. I totally understand that people have their own reasons for doing so and sometimes it just happens, no big deal. I personally wouldn't do it if I had the choice though.
That being said, if you are both in agreement and want to get a jump start, go for it. 19 months isn't really that long of a wait, so holding off could be a good option... especially since planning a wedding is so stressful. Being pregnant and planning a wedding? Ehhhh. You wouldn't have long after the baby to get your baby weight off either. If you were almost 40, I'd tell you to get crackin on that kid!
I say you should do it if all the other stars are aligned. Like, financial readiness, stable environment, that kinda thing. Having a child out of wedlock is something I've never been against. Especially when you're obviously in a committed relationship. If you're ready, do it. I have had friends plan weddings with children and it's beyond doable. You just have to know your budget and manage your time well. I actually had a friend give birth in October and get married that December- crazy! You'll be fine!
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Good Morning Ladies "BEES"
This is my first time posting to the boards so I hope I am doing it correctly. I am in a bind!!!! So I am in my early "30s" with no children and so is my fiance. Well last night he told me that he wants to start having a family NOW! He does not want to push it off until after the wedding. Our wedding is scheduled for Sept 2012 which is 19mths away... So his plan is that we can get pregnant now and have the baby before the wedding... My concerns are.. Being new parents and planning a wedding may be stressful... I was looking for feedback for brides or brides to be going through the planning that are either pregnant or have young babies throughout the wedding planning process... I guess we are not getting any younger and he wants atleast 2 or 3...
Any thoughts??? Suggesstions?? Advice???