Post # 1
Haven’t been on since Baby G came 1 week ago today! I went in for a normal OB apt last Tuesday in the AM and due to his fluid levels they had to do an emergency C section that night, baby boy was breeched and it took a lot to get him! But he arrived heathly as can be. He is amazing and I am so in love with him. I could stare at him for hours, I never thought I could love something so much in my life!!
Sadly, I having the baby blues though. I felt amazing “mood wise” in the hospital, I was in a ton of pain but I felt on cloud 9. We got home on Sat from the hospital. The first night home was okay. He was a little fussy a bit a night but slept for the most part. I am breastfeeding as well. I didn’t sleep much since I was up staring at him and every sound he made I was on edge. In the hospital we had him in the nursey at night and they would bring him in for feedings so I wasn’t used to the little noises he makes.
All of a sudden Sunday night out of NO WHERE I started to just cry and cry and cry. I started to really freak out about SIDS, to the point where I was in hysterics. I then calmed down but I had horrible anixety. I wasn’t freaking out about the SIDS but I just felt anxious, like I was somone else in someone else’s body. I don’t feel normal and like myself since that happened. I didn’t sleep at all Monday and then my anxiety got so bad I went into hysterics again but for this time I had no idea why. It got bad enough that my Darling Husband called my parents at 2am, I talked with my Mom who helped calm me down. I then tried to sleep for a few hours which didn’t work much. By 5am I was in hysterics again with crushing anxiety, I called my Mom again who helped calm me. I then was able to sleep until 7.
My Mom ended up staying with us last night and Darling Husband and I got a lot of rest and sleep. I got anxeity really bad before she got there and was able to calm down when she arrived. She slept in the room with the baby and would bring him in for feedings and I was finally able to sleep.
Tonight it’s just me and Darling Husband and I have already had a few bouts of anxiety and hystrics, I am normally okay durning the day but as soon as it starts to get darker around 4 I start to feel this horrible anxiety and impending doom. I know a lot of this is hormones and such but I am scared and just want the anxiety to go away. My Darling Husband is home with me for another week but I am terrified of when he goes back. He has helped out so much and I have become so dependent on him I am so worried about him going back and me being home all day with this anxiety.
I dont feel any ill feelings towards the baby at all, I don’t feel like a danger to him at all, if anything I can’t stop worry about him i just so scared and emotional right now. I want to feel normal again.
I need support and advice from the mommy’s out there,
Post # 3
I’m not a mommy but I grew up with anxiety exactly like you’re experiencing. You might not want to hear this but mine only got better when I went to see a psyciatrist. It helps to talk it out and describe what you’ve been feeling with someone who has experience in the field. I too would be fine during the day and fall into anxiety when it got dark at night. My mom was the only one who could calm me down completely and make me feel safe. I suffered through this from childhood to college when I finally decided enough was enough and I did not want to live like that anymore. What it is, is an imbalance of some chemical in the brain and my psychologist game me a perscription that helped to right that. Now I get to live normally without my anxiety. It feels so good to not fall prey to it anymore and to be the one controlling my life instead of my anxiety. I hope some of this has helped, I don’t want you to feel this way, especially when you should be allowed to be so happy with a new precious baby. 🙂 Good luck and don’t feel like any less of a strong and independent woman if you seek help, doing so only makes you stronger and more independent for your baby, Darling Husband, and yourself!
Post # 4
The baby blues really surprised me, too. I was expecting to be a little sad for a few days and then for it to pass. My experience was NOT like that at all. It first hit me like 3-4 days after Dirty Delete was born, and like you, I felt this crushing anxiety and weight. I felt like I could not relax and like I would never feel “normal” again. Mine mostly hit in the afternoon, but I had a really hard time sleeping at night, too, because my anxiety and thoughts would keep up all night, even if the baby didn’t.
What helped me was daily walks outside and a very sympathetic husband. It made me feel a lot better to hold my baby when I started getting upset because being away from her (even like 2 feet away from her) made me feel more anxious and upset. My husband also used to “talk me down,” reminding me that my hormones were making my emotions worse and that I’d feel better soon. He also took care of everything so that literally all I had to do was sit on the couch with the baby; I never even had to get up for a cup of water. It helped a lot to be taken care of in that way.
If you are truely experiencing baby blues (not PPD or PPA), it should go away within the next few days to a week. In the meantime, do whatever works for you, in terms of keeping you calm and relieving the anxiety. If having your mom around helps, can she come to stay for a few days? If having your baby around helps, keep her close by; if she makes you more anxious, and you feel ok with it, consider asking your husband to take the night shift for tonight while you take a sleeping pill. If you can, try to get outside for a little walk and fresh air; it’s good to get outside. Anything you can do that helps keep you calm (a bubble bath, maybe journaling your emotions, crying it out, if need be, etc…) is a good thing. Also, if anything worsens or changes or if this doesn’t go away, call your doctor. Some women do get Post-Partum Anxiety, and that needs to be treated with medication and/or therapy.