Post # 1
My son is almost 5 months old. He is happy, healthy, and a very good eater.
It seems like at the slightest bit of fussiness, whether it’s been 5 minutes or 1 hour since a bottle, everyone (meaning my mom and my husband) gives him another bottle. It’s like the go-to method. Half the time he will suck on it a couple of seconds and then quit drinking or he will keep the bottle in his mouth, but turns his head side to side. Don’t get me wrong…they do play with him, but the fact that it’s only 12:30 and my son has had several bottles this morning just because he’s been fussy kind of bugs me.
I don’t want to do CIO or anything like that, but I don’t think that just because he’s ornery he should get a bottle warmed either. It’s like everyone but me is afraid he will cry. Half the time he isn’t even hungry. He is on formula, and we only warm the bottle twice, so once it gets warmed up that second time if he doesn’t drink it, it gets thrown, and I hate that because formula isn’t cheap. So that is one of my biggest complaits about just wamring up a bottle for him when he isn’t even showing signs of hunger.
DS is also beginning the teething process, and I’ve tried explaining this to my mom and husband, so he is going to be fussy, but that doesn’t mean he’s hungry. I guess I can suck it up and keep my nose out of it if that is what they want to do, but I don’t know if this will cause problems down the road like dependency on the bottle every time he makes a peep.
Should I be letting this go or should I be doing something else? Any constructive advice appreciated.
Post # 2
I don’t have kiddos, but I feel like this would bother me. My whole family has a food obesssion and I’d really like to break that cycle. I think I would be inclined to suggest they offer him a teething ring, or frozen toy FIRST, before the bottle, even if the only reason is that formula is expensive and he’s likely not actaully hungry. But take that with a grain of salt, because I havent been in that position.
Post # 3
megz06: Can the three of you come to some sort of agreement where if he cries within a certain time period after feeding-say one hour- the first assumption can be that it’s not hunger? Everyone will try to settle him in another way if he really seems distressed. Sometimes if they are not losing it but just fussing a little, they are quite fine to settle themselves.
If he won’t settle and really seems hungry, they can offer another bottle with only 1 oz of formula so you are not wasting so much. There will be times when he is going through a growth spurt where he really does want more to eat.
Post # 4
Do you use pacifiers? If he’s just wanting to suck for comfort that might help.
Do they even try to settle him other ways first? If I know it hasn’t been long since LO has eaten I always try to soothe in other ways first (like a nap, playing, giving attention, walking around with her on my shoulder, going for a walk, etc) before offering a feeding because it’s usually something else she needs and not food. Will they not even attempt to try that first?
I would at least see if you can talk them into not putting much in the bottle. Like PP said, I bet it’d be helpful to only put 1oz in the bottle. That way it’s pretty easy to determine if baby is hungry or not without wasting formula.
Post # 5
This would bother me to no end. I hate when other people think they know what YOUR baby needs. You know what he needs and I’d tell them that! I think if they give him a bottle every time he fusses it will create aproblem in the future so I’d nip that in the bud ASAP! Talk to your family and tell them it’s your baby and you know their needs not them and to please respect how your choosingfeed soothe him wo a bottle!
Post # 6
megz06: Ohhh darling! We also seem to have the same issues. You know I had the same issue with my mom. For some reason her go-to method is a bottle, and my DS doesn’t turn away just yet even if he isn’t hungry. I would have a talk with him if I were you because you don’t want this to be something DS gets use to and then he’s over-eating or whatever the case may be. If it was me, I would simply say they should try such and such method before trying to feed him again. For example, 90% of the time when my DS is fussy and my mom thinks he’s “hungry”, he’s usually just sleepy! He has a strict schedule. You know your son best so give him tips and pointers on what else to do other than feeding yet again.
I know how expensive formula can be as well so I know I would be PISSED! lol
I hope everything works out gem.
Post # 7
I’ve sort of dealt with this too, not from DH tho. Every time my DD gets a little fussy, my dad insists she wants a bottle. It drives me crazy. I think he forgot how babies act. My mom just rolls my eyes at him, I try to ignore him but it drives me crazy. He thinks the answer to all fussiness/crying is a bottle.
Post # 8
My husband is the same way. We have had fights over this ‘bottle’ thing. I kept explaining to him that babies cry for ALL reasons, not just hunger. It took him months, but he now sees that usually there are other solutions to calming a crying baby. Also, from day 1 I put my foot down and no one was allowed to give my baby a bottle off schedule unless I ok’ed it.
You are the mom, you make the rules. I made that clear right away, and you should too.
Post # 9
Thanks, everyone. He doesn’t like a pacifier, but he does like to chew on things. They usually try one method of playing. So DH’s go-to is to put him in his rock star piano gym thing, and if that doesn’t work, to the bottle he goes. My mom just hates hearing DS cry. He will make one peep on the floor, and she will immediately move him to his high chair. One little peep and he’s back in her arms and getting a bottle. So they do try other things, but they don’t let him fuss enough is the issue. Sometimes he gets bored for a few seconds and then finds a way to entertain himself again.
I will let my mom know to just do a 1-2oz bottle to start. She can have a 6oz one ready to go in the fridge, but don’t give him that unless he’s drinking the 1-2oz one with no head turning or batting the bottle away. Thanks again, Bees!
Post # 10
My daughter had a lot of gas issues due to a milk allergy we weren’t aware of. Her crying was easily confused for hunger, and she would take more milk, but it actually compounded the gas problem. Honestly the best thing we did was make a food schedule by dividing up the necessary ounces of milk. It is easy to give milk but it is expensive and at times can do more harm than good. We did let her cry it out for a little but she really enjoyed and did well on the schedule.
Post # 11
megz06: My little son is only a month old, and when my MIL was here and he’d fuss she’d ask me “why is he crying?!?” as if it was weird for a tiny baby to cry. I’d either tell her, “I don’t know- I’ve only known him a week” or “uwell, he’s a baby, they cry.” I’m sure someone would’ve have shoved a bottle in his face if that was an option! No advice here, just that I feel for you. Good luck!
Post # 12
Ugh. This must be our parent’s generation of dealing with babies. My mom keeps insisting that my exclusively breastfed baby who is gaining weight beautifully (1lb in 10days!) needs water, rice cereal, and formula. Im actually in the mists of a battle with my mom because of it. Ugh ugh ugh.
Anywho, in your situation I think you need to get infant feeding info and give it to both and explain it. In fact the packet I got at my ped visit today said to not stick a bottle at baby if they aren’t hungry as it could lead to them comfort feeding and eventually food issues when they are older. I can send you a copy if you can’t find anything.