Baby fever but I'm worried it's too soon (sad rant)

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee

What do you think having a child will prevent you from doing?

Post # 4
Member
935 posts
Busy bee

@Ruby-Redshoes:  its never the right time to have a child, period. u may think you are ready but no one ever really is even though there are times that are more preferable to others.

talk with your SO and express your concerns, and if you are still having second thoughts then maybe consider waiting, after all you have tons of time. 

Post # 5
Member
763 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

First – if you think circumstances will change in a few years and you won’t want TTC, do you think those circumstances will be any better if you already have a kid or two? 

As mckey430 said, I don’t think there is ever a “right” time, but I think there are definite “wrong” times.  If you want to have a few more years child-free, then wait.  You are in your mid-twenties and still have plenty of fertile years ahead of you!!!

Post # 6
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Ruby-Redshoes:  We pushed back our timeline by 6 months and it is 100% the right decision. DH wanted to run a marathon and I would train (and run the race) with him. I will not commit to a marathon while TTC– I have been on continuous birth control for 5 years and haven’t had a period in years– I can’t predict how I will feel. We are using the extra time to travel and enjoy our time, but can’t wait for kids.

Post # 7
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

If you are unsure- wait! Live your live and do the things you want to do first. My life as a Mom is amazing but there are lots of things I wish I would have done first. Be selfish and spontaneous while you can 🙂 

Post # 8
Member
4043 posts
Honey bee

@Ruby-Redshoes:  While there is never a “right” time, there are better times than other times. Like if you think you will be more financially stable, further in your career, at a better point in your relationship, etc.

If you are worried that waiting might lead to less than ideal circumstances to TTC, I don’t see how having a child would make the situation any better….unless you are worried about fertility issues.

Personally, I am 25 now, and though we have been together for 10 1/2 years (married for 4 months, we are not ready to TTC. If we have children, it will likely be around 30. We are financially and emotionally stable, have a great relationship, have established careers, but we are not ready for sacrifices of parenthood. Sure, life doesn’t end when you have a child…but it does change! We want to spend the next 5 years traveling, buying a home, sleeping in, hanging with our pups and being a couple.

Do what is right for you OP, but if you have any hesistation, what is the harm in pushing back your deadline by 6 months to a year?

Post # 9
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Ruby-Redshoes:  My husband and I were married in August 2013 and we decided not to take a honeymoon right after our wedding because we had just started jobs and didn’t want to ask for more time off. We have decided to hold off on TTC in an effort to become more financially stable, have a proper honeymoon, and most importantly to enjoy one another as husband and wife! We plan on taking a honeymoon in March or April and then TTC in May. I am 28 and he will be 30 by then. I think if you’re apprehensive about TTC so soon after your wedding, please share that with your FI. There is nothing wrong with waiting, and I do not believe in TTC out of fear (i.e., financial or fertility issues). Just do it when you’re ready and take things from there. Hope this helps. 🙂

Post # 10
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@Ruby-Redshoes:  I really mean this in the best way but—You have baby fever or you don’t Undecided

I’m 30+, I have baby fever, I’m not worried about if/when it’s the right time or what will happen in the future at all……Is it ever REALLY the right time?!?  Not really!!  Meditate on it Smile Don’t get in your head to much about it.

If you are worried about it, you are only 25, maybe just wait a year? 

It’ll be okay, hang in there!!

Post # 13
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@Ruby-Redshoes:  I think maybe you should wait, your most recent post shows that you care more about backpacking through South America for 6 months, eating out every night and drinking after work.

YOLO!!  Might as well wait, you are still young.

You can always freeze your eggs Cool

Post # 15
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@Ruby-Redshoes:  Woah woah woah!!! I’m sorry if you took offense, I meant it in the best way.  I don’t have an ego; I don’t think I’m morally superior;

I’m 30+, and made the choice to freeze my eggs so I could enjoy my 20s.  I’ve always wanted kids too, but I made the choice to become, as you put it ‘A Well Traveled, Fulfilled Adult Before I Have a Child’.

Now I’m older, and I’m not all ‘I wonder if I should or not because I might miss out on things’.

Sheesh! Undecided

 

Post # 16
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@Ruby-Redshoes:  I think it’s great that you’re considering all the angles before making your decision as if there are major items on your bucket list that you would like to cross off first there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I’m bumping it up in my schedule but I’m 33 and know I don’t have a ton of time to sit around wondering if we’re ready. I had a Dr once that said you’re never ready and there’s never the perfect time it’s a completely personal decision.

I would draw up a list with your SO and brainstorm all of those adventures that you may want to have like backpacking. Once you have the list you can go through it again and make decisions on what you really want to accomplish and what’s more of a nice to have. Then make your plan!

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with waiting another year or more if there are some definite must do’s on your mutual list!

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