Post # 1
Life has led me to a wonderful man and I’m extremely grateful and excited to be with him but… I’m anxious to start our family. I already know our time line. We should get a communication award. I’m comfortable with this time line most days. Not today! Today my coworker came in and told me his wife is expecting another baby. I was happy for him and then I got this “feeling” I don’t even know how to describe it. It isn’t jealousy. Its more like I want to jump out of my chair, drive to SO’s work, take him home, and start TTC right now. I get this way whenever something reminds me of how much I want to be a mother. I’m 30 and I have had plenty of time to think about what I want, a family ended up at the top of my list. I was 30 in the blink of an eye and 31 is creeping up fast. My clock isn’t ticking anymore, buzzers are going off. I’m sick of hitting the snooze button. Grrrrr
Then my realistic side kicks in. Ideally I’d prefer a year of just he and I as a married couple before we have children. We aren’t moving in together until a ring is on my hand and I want that adjustment time. I’m thinking about having some eggs frozen to take some of the urgency I feel off my shoulders. Perhaps if I know I still have a chance even if life throws a curve ball at me I wont feel so anxious and waiting while the ducks line up wont suck this badly.
Post # 3
Im 31, and also hear the clock ticking. When I feel like this, I look around at all the older than me 1st time moms and remind myself that I have time to start a family. Your womb doesnt shut down at 30!!! There is plenty of time, and in the meantime, its fun to practice 😉
Post # 4
OMG, I could have written this post!! Fabulous SO, living together, and definite talks of marriage/timelines, etc. And although I look forward to the day where I FINALLY get to marry my best friend, I often wish to fast forward my life a bit, and stop at ‘starting a family with my best friend’ moment in time.
I am also 30 going on 31. My friends are all having babies, and I relish in being around them, and I cannot wait to be a mom, etc. And yet, I know I have time, and I know I want a marriage before children (if that is ‘God’s plan’ for me), and I know that I want to take time and enjoy an engagement, and enjoy just him and I time when we do get married! And certainly, life is too short to wish away 🙂
HOWEVER, I say 7 times out of 10, my desire to start a family with this man far outweighs my desire to have a wedding, but I prefer one before the other. It certainly makes the ‘wait’ seem that much longer!!
Post # 5
I’m in the same boat. I’m 34 and he’s 37. I’d love to be married for a year before we start trying, but I really don’t think that’s going to happen. At this age, we don;t really have that luxury if we want two kids!
Post # 6
I’m 29, will be 30 in January, and I hear you! My SO is always talking about wanting to have babies, too, and there’s a high incidence of miscarriage in my family after 35, so those things definitely don’t help the clock tick any less loudly…
I would also love to be married for at least a year before TTC, but he keeps saying he doesn’t want to be an old dad (he’s 32) and we should just get started now. Whenever this comes up I point at my ring finger, ’cause I need two rings on that puppy before any wee ones come into our life.
Random note: I’ve heard that freezing just eggs isn’t as effective as freezing eggs that have been fertilized. That being said, you’ve still got time – egg preservation is probably a little extreme at this point.
Post # 7
@DomesticDiva: Plus it’s expensive!
Post # 9
@mrssoontobeh: Practice makes perfect right?
@DomesticDiva: You’re probably right, it may be a bit extreme. My mother worked in fertility most of my life so I’m desensitized. Eggs, sperm, donors, surrogates, these were normal household topics. It probably adds to the sense of urgency I get when the baby bug bites. The good thing is both our SO’s seem to be on same page as far as wanting children sooner than later.
@OUgal0004: You’re like my soul sister right now.
This is why I love the bee. No matter what I’m thinking or feeling I can come here and find people who relate. Can’t beat that.
Post # 10
@ScenicRoute: I feel you for sure. But as other bees have said, things don’t turn off at 30. You’ll still have time even given your timeline. And it will be all the more amazing given what you’ve gone through in your life. It will happen. You will have beautiful children with your amazing sounding future husband.
A dear friend of mine just gave birth to her second baby a few weeks before her 40th birthday. Both kids are happy healthy and AMAZING. And 40 is TEN WHOLE YEARS away for you.
I’m a couple years younger than you and have always wanted to start having kids in my early thirties. Fi on the other hand once said “I want to have kids when I’m 38.” My response “um, well you better either find someone else or find a way to start aging faster than me!” (we’re the same age).
Recently though, he’s started to get it. I think…
Post # 11
@coffeeeeee: Haha! My FI is 37 and I’m 27 and I’ve got the fever! I want baby #1 by the time I’m 30, but I do wish he were a few years younger so he’d be <40 by the time we have the second. Oh well, we all do things differently in life and he’ll be an amazing father 🙂