(Closed) Baby-making is apparently the most important thing in my family…

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Gah that’s horrible!  My aunt is a bit like that, though I don’t live near her so I don’t really see it thankfully.  At least the rest of your family is proud of what you do and are doing!

Post # 4
Member
5658 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

If it is just that one aunt making a big fuss, I wouldn’t worry about it. Surely most of the people at your wedding were there for you and not the baby. I can understand your feelings with your aunt going on and on about this baby (I agree that she is a bit over the top), but I think you should focus on your own happiness and remember the people who are proud of you for your accomplishments. You do not need validation from this one aunt.

Post # 6
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

ooo i feel for you. that is her grandkid correct? i can understand her enthusiasm…my sister had a baby (he is 9 months) and though i have to agree with your aunt that it was the most special thing to happen to our family – he isnt the only baby that is going to come along, he is just the first. My FSIL got engaged last january – Married in August and is already preggo – I got engaged to her brother in july – Marrying him in Feb! and lord knows im not going to be preggo in april…i want tthat time to enjoy being married before jumping in to having kids but i couldnt help but feel a twinge of jealousy when she announced it – not jealousy but more like hello…do i get a moment in the spotlight? selfish i know – i got over it quickly.

I wouldnt let her bother you too much – clearly she is starting to get annoying with all the baby talk and im sure you guys arent the only ones who see it.

Be proud of the things you accomplished and that you are taking the path that is right for you.  🙂

Post # 7
Member
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

That is probably your Aunt being defensive. She is jealous that you are so determined in life and all her daugther can do it pop out a baby. I think it is just straight up jealously. It would def peeve me off though!

Post # 8
Member
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

That would totally make me want to kick her in the shins. More than likely I would find some way to repress the urge (hopefully) but gah… how annoying.

Post # 9
Member
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Wow…..sounds like we might be remotely related!  My father’s family has quite a similar story.  ::HUGS::

Post # 10
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think the fussing over the baby is normal.  Some people are just like that, though though it is annoying.  And if your cousin didn’t accomplish anything else and is not likely to, it makes sense to me that your family would make a big deal out of this. 

The “you’ll change your mind about having kids” thing is annoying.  I’d probably be tempted to go for the shock factor and tell people that your doctor told you that you would die if you had kids, or something.  That should shut them up, lol. 

Post # 11
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I really don’t understand the whole “babybabybaby” thing a lot of women/families have going on. There is a big, fascinating, complex world to tackle outside of procreation, and I intend to suck those opportunities dry before giving birth. You can be both a multi-faceted interesting person and a mother. It is much harder to do that if you are a mother early on in life, which is why the birth rate for the super-high educated women is lower and later in life. Hold true to yourself, and take it as a sign that your aunt has no other reason to gush over your cousin. Get out there and have it all, Mrs. Grape!

Post # 13
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Here’s the thing:  I LOVE babies.  LOOOOOVE them. I love their little fingers, I love the way their heads smell, I have self-proclaimed baby fever.  On Christmas Eve, I remarked to Mr. BrassBand that I was about to get my “baby fix” when my relatives arrived.  I hope to work in my intended field primarily with babies and young children, and cannot wait to have a couple of my own someday.

That said, I would be fuming if I were in your position.  I think I would be willing to give a little more leeway if the baby were your aunt’s grandchild, but since it is not, I think she is acting awfully strangely, in the very least.  I think there may be something to a remark a PP made about your aunt possibly being threatened by your education/drive/etc…it has been my personal experience that some women, particularly those who believe that procreation is a woman’s highest calling or have not pursued higher ed or a demanding career (read: my FMIL) can be threatened by women such as yourself.

My other point of curiosity is this: does she have children of her own?  Is it possible that she can’t/didn’t have kids, or her kids can’t/don’t plan on having kids, and she is just living vicariously through your cousin?  I’m not saying that this excuses her behavior either at your wedding or at your great-aunt’s passing (my condolences, btw), but it provides another perspective from which to view her behavior.

 

Post # 16
Member
1891 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m glad your DH has a sense of humor about this whole thing.  I really love babies and lots of women do (and since your aunt works at a school and doesn’t have children of her own, I imagine she’s pretty crazy about babies) but if I were you I’d be pretty pissed off by her behavior too.  I’m sorry to hear about your great aunt and your health problems too–the last thing you need is some well-meaning but slightly crazy relative making you feel even worse. 

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