Baby names Mom hates? How to talk.

posted 2 years ago in Babies
Post # 2
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Dean is our #1 boy name pick! hehe.

Realistically there’s not alot you can say to make your mom hate the name less, she has a strong association with that name. But, if you LOVE it, pick it! She WILL get over it, and start a new name association with her grandson instead of her less than desireable cousin.

Honestly tell her that it means a lot to you and our husband and this a decision that both of you have made together and while she does not have to like the name… she does need to respect your decision as a married unit as you start your family.

Post # 4
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I wouldn’t bother having the difficult conversation until you are pregnant, know it’s a boy, and still want to name him Dean. At that point she’ll probably be really excited about the new baby, and that would be a good time to do what winterwoodlandbride suggested. Why fight through it beforehand though? Who knows, you might end up with all girls 😉 

Post # 5
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Haruyou:  it is your kid it doesn’t matter if she likes the name or not. This is why we don’t share names or even contenders until birth!

Post # 6
Member
4024 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Haruyou:  Honestly, I would drop it for right now. It seems like this is in the future, so if it is brought up again I would just say “Why don’t we forget about it until the time comes.” There’s no point causing a conflict when it’s not necessary. I get that she really doesn’t like the name. Name associations are hard, I get it-I’m a teacher. Sometimes people just ruin a perfectly good name. BUT, if you do end up with a son and name him Dean, that is a brand new, wonderfully positive association for that name. She will have to get over it. 

Tip: Never tell anyone your baby names (it’s hard, I know). Or if you want to talk about it with someone, just throw around a few but don’t commit to any of them. 

Post # 7
Member
7075 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’d let it go for now, but honestly I think it’s best to just keep your names between yourself and DH. You will never please everyone with your choice.

Post # 8
Member
7195 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Haruyou:  Stop talking baby names with your mom! (Or anyone else except your partner).

Then after baby is born, tell her the name. (Whether it’s Dean or anything else). Even if she initially dislikes it, she won’t be able to say anything, and she will come around. (True story: SIL gave her son the same name as my ex! (And she knew). Initially I was horrified, but I’ve come to love my newphew and it doesn’t bother me anymore).

The trouble is you think long and hard on a name, and then the other person (mom or friend of anyone else) dismisses it on a first impression. So talking names with your mother is counterproductive.

Post # 9
Member
3359 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1997

My mum had a negative comment for EVERY name we considered for a child, boy or girl. Finally DH and I decided we would choose a name and not tell her or anyone else until the papers were signed and the name was given. We told her the name after the baby was born and she LOVED it. In reality, I think she loved the baby and it wouldn’t have mattered what the name was.

Post # 10
Member
3200 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Haruyou:  My friend named her baby Dean! It’s a great name! Well, for the mom situation, you already did yourself a great diservice. When you truly fall in love with a name, don’t share it with anyone but your DH. What I would suggest is this: Keep quiet about it. Don’t bring it up anymore. When you get pregnant, don’t discuss any names. Once the baby arrives, and it is a boy, name him Dean if you like. I promise you when she is holding that brand new baby (her grandchild!!!) her dick of a cousin will be the farthest person from her mind. 

Everyone will have an opinion on baby names. Everyone’s styles completely differ. I am a total snob, so when I hear certain names either while out or if my friends choose them, it is hard for me to remain quiet. My friend wanted to name her baby Londyn and my head almost about damn exploded. FI and I disucss baby names all the time and no one likes one of our girl names. I take that as a good sign–no one will beat us to it!

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