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I haven't registered yet but I think I'd be irritated too. While its sweet that they're thinking of you and generous to purchase a gift... do people really not understand why we go through all that time and effort to make a registry??
Ok- I'm curious- if the items weren't on your list how do you know that they bought them? Like do people's random purchases end up on your registry? Like if you buy hemorroid cream and Ramen noodles at Target while shopping for a baby registry can people find out? Maybe I am completely misunderstanding?
Yea, I don't get how you know that they bought things not on the list?
I'm sure that would irritate me a little, too! I always try to buy things from a registry. The only baby items I get off the registry are stuffed animals. :)
@Lillindy: Just curious, what types of things were bought that were not on the registry? Is this your first baby? I'm thinking that maybe the people in question are parents, and bought the things that they think are necessities that maybe you didn't have on the registry. Ie, things you didn't think you'd need, so didn't register for. I'm sure they meant well. If it was just ugly, superflous stuff, though, I'd be of the same opinion as you. Like, wtf were they thinking? Lol.
Honestly, it wouldn't bother me. When I had my daughter, I was so happy people wanted to help.
I would just chalk it up to a good faith effort on their part.
I just started my registry but I worry about this too. I'm a 1st time mom, so I need the stuff on my list, not other things. But I'll take what I can get because I have nothing!LOL
Haha....I've had so many calls from my mom in the past couple days about people calling her and wanting to know what else besides the stuff on my registry we want. I have lots of practical stuff like changing pad and crib sheets on there, which apparently aren't fun, and cloth diapers, which apparently people think are weird, and then like just baby care products like sunscreen and body wash, which I guess falls into the not fun category. I donno, I'm torn because when she calls I'm like that's the stuff we really need and I'd be most excited about. But having a little girl I'm prepared for the barrage of cute little girl clothes, which will be fun but I already have a closet full of.
A lot of things that I see given regularly at a baby shower I didn't register for because I figure a lot of people just have their favorite goodies to give, which is good, we need all those basic baby products too but I'm just confused about the phone calls, apparently I made a bad registry.
I hosted a baby shower recently for both of my FSILs. They registered at various stores. I think I was the only one who bought something off of their registry. Registries are a convenience for the mothers, but that doesn't mean people don't want to pick out their own stuff to give you. I guess it was a revolt again someone telling them what to buy. I know it can be aggravating, but I think those people would be pretty sad that you don't appreciate them picking out things on their own. Plus, they could be seasoned mothers who feel certain things are useful/helpful that other mothers wouldn't think of. I dunno, I'm not trying to be mean or anything.
My girlfriend who is throwing my shower called me to tell me she sent out the invitations today and was like "What's something NOT on your registry you want?" I'm like "STICK to the registry! That's stuff we NEED!"
I don't understand why people always want to buy off-registry. It's one thing if there's not a good price range but seriously I'm not creating a registry to kill time, I'm creating it so we get what we need. Isn't that the point of a baby shower? To give us the stuff we NEED for the baby? I don't care how "cute" an outfit is - it's not going to look cute for long if we don't get any diapers.
Luckily she's staying with us the day after the shower so I told her we'll go "returning".
Honestly, I'm looking to use our registry for two purposes: that 10% completion discount, and as a resource for family members who want to get us bigger items. I didn't expect to get much off my registry for the shower (though I was actually pleasantly surprised that many people did use the registry).
Sorry, I'm one of those totally impractical non-mothers who insist on buying something "cute" for your baby. I just have zero interest in buying diapers, diaper genies, bottles, random plastic baby stuff that I have no idea what it does, or anything else boring and useful. I feel like parents should buy that stuff. I'll get you an adorable pair of 12-month Pedipeds and a book, or those ridiculously overpriced but darling socks that look like maryjane shoes and a cozy little blankie. A gift is a gift!
This is what it looks like when someone doesn't buy off your registry:
@eeniebeans: So yeah, if someone buys something like hemmoroid cream and ramen noodles while giving the cashier the paper with your registry barcode to scan it will show up on your registry, lol. Things like this, though, I doubt people bought for themselves.
@Wonderwoman217: I don't consider the bear a necessity, just something someone thought was cute. Guess they don't realize stuff animals that don't have a purpose make me crazy and the dust they collect drives my allergies nuts.
they might have small children in their family or another pregnant friend they bought the other things for.
@Lillindy: I agree - stuffed animals are a total waste. Anything like that will be returned if possible.
I understand ppl wanting to pick something to give me on their own. But it seems like a waste of money to give me something I can't use and or have to store for 12 mos. I'm going to be 100x more excited/grateful to get something we need than I will for something we don't (seriously I got super excited to get a nice skillet at my bridal shower because I use that EVERY day).
@Lillindy: Lots of people bought things that were not on our registry. I think every mom has her favorite go-to items and we got exposed to a lot of wonderful things we wouldn'te have otherwise known about.
I think people feel more free with baby stuff to go off list :)
My shower was this past weekend and we literally got 7 things off our registry. The rest was clothes and otherwise fairly useless items- most of which I can't even return. Very frustrating! My mom bought one package of bottles and a bottle brush and otherwise everything else was cutesy typical baby things and none of the "non fun type things". Luckily we got our completion code in the mail the following day which was helpful in buying the things we really needed like crib sheets and bottle nipples etc.
Well, I guess on the bright side, at least you're getting gifts, right?! I know, it's a small consolation. As irritating as I'm about to be, people technically don't have to get you anything for you or the baby, let alone registry items. You just have to slap a smile on your face and thank them for thinking of you. Then inwardly curse and exchange it all for the things you need.
P.S. While reading this I suddenly had an intense craving for sourdough bread. What I would give for a Spaghetti Warehouse right about now!!
Buy Buy Baby and Bed Bath and Beyond have rediculous registry set ups. A customer needs to make separate purchases for registry items and things they might be buying for themselves, or the items not on the registry get added to it and show up online. We had a few wedding guests add some weird stuff to our registry on accident.
I think most other stores have a system smart enough to just check off what was purchased from the registry and ignore the rest.
Anyone else HATE that Bed Bath abd Beyond and Buy Buy Baby give you store credit on a stupid receipt? I can never keep track of the darn paper and had to have them look it up for me 3 times. The last time it took them weeks to locate it in their computers. I wish they'd get with the times and use a gift card.
I too am an annoying non-mother who can't resist buying the cute outfits. I do usually try to even it out by buying a box of diapers or wipes or something useful to even it out. I HATE trying to figure out a registry, so 9 times out of 10 I just totally avoid them.
I agree with Sand Dollar...a baby registry is a suggestion of things you want/need, not a shopping list for your shower guests. I know it's annoying that people spend their money on things you know you won't use, but that's the folly of getting gifts sometimes- you get things you would never pick out for yourself. While I do think stuffed animals for newborns are kind of dumb, a gift is a gift. It's just lucky you can return it for something you need.
I am due in late Sept and I don't think I'll have a baby registry. We are planning on buying all of the big things we need ourselves. I'm kind of a control freak anyways so I want everything when and where I want it. If anyone asks what we want we'll probably just say little things like diapers.
I'm kind of hoping some people shop off registry. Of course I want the stuff on my registry too, but if a mom has something that she loves for her baby, I probably just didn't know about it so I didn't register for it. Also, I'm not registering for clothes b/c I'm assuming people will buy them for me anyway. Otherwise our baby will be naked.
Shower is tomorrow, and can't wait!
So, we got a gift this week from someone who can't attend. They didn't shop off our registry because they said, "They hate shopping off those things because I like to buy what I feel like." She's an older aunt, so hasn't had kids for quite a while, but got us some cute stuff. One thing that did bug me, though, was that she got a baby robe and hubby doesn't want to return/exchange things from family out of guilt. It's stuff like that which makes me frustrated people don't shop off a registry because we didn't register for any baby robes and there's good reason for that...one, my sister said you don't really use them and she has a 2 and 1 year old so I figure she knows, and also because she handed down 7 of them to us, two of which still have tags so I don't think we would ever need more than that.
@Lillindy: That stinks. I would say your husband should get over it. Its not like the aunt will ever know if you used that. If it ever comes up after the baby is born just say, well the baby didn't like the robe we already had so we had to return it.
The one thing I will do sometimes is not buy off the registry because I know I can buy the item cheaper at a different store or with coupons. I am not going to pay more money just so an internet list can check it off for you.
@SecretName: I'm the same way I'll buy something somewhere else if I can get it for cheaper, but I guess I'm just more of a person that sticks to someone's wish list.
@Lillindy: My husband was like that too. When we were engaged his mother sent me a shower gift, and honestly everything in the box looked like it had been purchased from the dollar store. It was kitchen items, and half of it were plastic that was scratched or something. I ended up throwing over half of it away, and he was so offended! haha he got over it eventually, but they need to let it go.
If the person knows you well enough, not following the registry can be helpful. like I knew my sister didn't register for any baby clothes because she figured she'd get them anyway, so I got her some outfits and she loved them.
But she's also into organic baby products, and someone who didn't follow her registry got her a johnson & johnson bath kit, and she ended up giving it away because she wouldn't use it! If you want your gift to matter, ask the person directly what they want!
I'm worried about this as well :( my mom's whole side of the family NEVER buys anything from the registry lol
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Beekeeper
So, I'm stalking my baby registry today like I used to with my wedding registry...and don't look at me like that, you know you all do it! LOL
Anyway, I see that someone went shopping last night and even though they clearly knew how to buy off our list because they bought 2 small things, they got a number of other things that were not on our list and things we in no way would want. I'm not trying to sound ungrateful, but does that annoy anyone else?? Do they not realize that my very large self is going to have to waddle back to the store to return all that stuff because they are buying us things we don't need?! It's like why look at someone's list and say to yourself, oh I'm going to pick out things I like better since I don't like the stuff they like/want.
/vent
Thanks for listening ladies!