@bwaychick: I registered for nipple cream and breast pads and other stuff like that. My mom, who was with me when I registered, said it's something that your mom or a close friend would get you. As for putting where you're registered on the invitation - since you're not throwing yourself a shower, that's something that's out of your control. It seems a bit silly, cause how is anyone supposed to know where to shop for you?! A friend of mine registered at 3 places and I didn't think it was tacky at all. I'd think 3 is perfectly fine - esp if the "extra" is for cloth diapering stuff. Just remember, all the people who will be looking at your registries or getting the invitation love you and are excited for you during this time. They won't (or shouldn't anyway) judge you based on silly little "etiquitte" things.
I can see registering for 3 if you have people in different areas. I picked two places - BabiesRUs and Target. I was looking at BuyBuyBaby as well but since it is over 45mins from me I decided against it. It's not tacky though - I did register for 3 places for the wedding too.
Some people are bothered registering for nipple cream, breast pads, pumps, etc. It's really if you are embarassed or not to receive it as a gift. Honestly, I don't really care, so I put it on mine. My sisters both told me to register for it, as did a friends mom.
As the person above said, you aren't throwing your own shower, so it's really out of your hands with the stating where you are registered. Every shower I've been invited to has had it listed.
The majority of people know nothing about etiquette anyway, and what they think they know is wrong. If it's not the norm in your crowd, then skip it, otherwise just register for it.
@snoie: Thanks for the reply! I do have people all over the country- we live in a different state than our parents, and they live in different states. My good friend is throwing the shower, and he has asked for my input in all areas. He's a gay guy so this is his first shower, so I know he'll need some help ;-)
@Candy_Nee: Thanks for the advice- my gay BFF is throwing the shower so he as asked for my input in all areas as this is his first one- that's why I asked about invitation stuff.
Put everything you need on there, including the embarrissing stuff, while its not fun it is needed. Just a thought, I just hosted a shower where the mother registrered at Target and my biggest issue was you had to pay for shipping, and a lot of their items were not available in store. I just get worried for the last minute shoppers, I know i had a ton of them, and what happens if everything left is online purchases only.. Just a thought, some people love online shopping! Including myself! I was just amazed that Target still charges shipping regardless of the total purchase amount.
Also including a registry card with the invite is up to you. I did it for my wedding and for my shower. I think its helpful, and the norm in our area.
@carriejuly: Thanks! That's good to know about Target. We mainly want to register there because we shop there a lot anyway, and that's the only store that's near us that other people can go to to buy things. But if they don't have much in the actual store, it might be pointless!
@bwaychick: I've never seen a SHOWER invitation without registry info. The whole point of a shower is to shower the guest of honor with love and presents! Now if I saw a wedding invitation with registry info on it, I would raise an eyebrow.
And remember return policies without receipts. Target here is a huge PITA for returns, even with receipts. I'm almost wishing I registered at BuyBuyBaby as they are related to Bed, Bath, and Beyond (who was SO easy to return to).
As for shipping - a lot of companies don't offer free shipping for less than $50, or you have to have a membership account. IE Shoprunner, Amazon Prime, having a Target RedCard, etc. Shipping is expensive, and if they offered it on every single item they would have to increase item prices. Even with the discounted rates they get it's still pricey. This is coming from someone that ships all the time for work. While we get great rates, it's still pricey.
Target and BabiesRUs both have the option to "locate in store". I'd start checking that if you do registering online. That way you can see what is available in each area. For my first shower I tried to find things available in that area (PA/DE), then went ahead and modified it after it was over to things available here (VA). I found different stores stock different items, which is a pain, but the locate feature is nice for people all over. Don't forget not everyone will shop at your local Target/BabiesRUs - they may go to the one a town over.
I made a universal registry at myregistry.com and then linked to my registries at Babies R Us, Walmart, and items from other stores that I did not want to create a registry for (aka I only wanted 1 thing from that store). It was really convenient because all my mother did was post my registry link on the shower info and people could see all of them at once. People also said it was very easy to not have to go to multiple stores or registries to see what I was looking for as it was all in one place. Additionally I wanted to add, if you don't have an ethical problem with Walmart (I know some people do), check there and at Kmart, you can often get the exact same items for much cheaper than at BRU, BBB, or Target. I got the exact same $400 crib for $190, which in my opinion is a pretty huge deal!
@Schatzie821: I did the same thing with the universal registry, but I used Amazon.com (or .ca in my case) and tried to pick local stores where people could either get well priced delivery or go pick things up directly since my guests will be fairly spread out. Delivery to Canada can be really pricey, so that's why I tried to pick local places.
I also registered at Babies R Us just because it's pretty accessible for everyone as well, where the one other store I wanted to register at is only convenient for about 1/4 of my guests, so the universal registry meant I could pick items from that store as well. I tried really hard to have a big price range in the items I chose, just like we did when we registered for our wedding. We have lots of stuff in the $10-50 range.
My mom is including my registry info in the shower invite, I've never been to a baby shower where the registry info wasn't on the invite either. I think the etiquette for baby showers is a lot less "strict" than for a wedding, so I wouldn't worry too much about it :)
@snoie: Thanks for all of that info- I was considering buy buy baby as well, because we have one here, and most of my friends that i'm inviting live here, like 90 percent. I've never been to the store before, but I will have to check it out.
@Schatzie821: Thanks for replying, I've never heard of myregistry.com- I will definitely have to check that out.
@babybuzz: Thanks for the response- I didn't even know that there was an "etiquette" for baby showers until I googled "how to register for a baby shower"! I am the first of my close friends to have a baby so this is all new to me.
Did you ladies only invite people that you knew could come to the shower, or did you also invite friends of the family that you know won't come, but would probably want to get you a gift? For example, my mom's best friend who's like an aunt to me. Or do you just trust that they will make it their business to find out if they want to get you something?
@bwaychick: I invited anyone that I would like to have there, even if they won't be available. It also depends on who is hosting and how many people they want. My first shower was just my family, since they are all out of state and had it back in my home state. I had no say in the invite list for it and felt like I barely knew some of the people there (as some of the relatives are a little more 'distant').
My next one is a local one with friends/DH's family, and MIL/SIL/friend that are hosting told me to feel free to invite who I would like to have there. I gave them a list of my close friends, plus a friends Mom, MIL's neighbor (who DH and I really like), and I think a few others. I knew my friend from TX would not come, but I wanted her to at least know I was thinking about her and would have loved to have her there.
@bwaychick: Because I told my friend that hosted to only evite to keep it simple, I only invited people I knew could attend. Since all the guests can see accept/decline, I felt it would look wierd if there were a ton of no's on the RSVP. However, I sent the registry information with a short email about when I was due, nursery theme, and gender of the baby to my mom and MIL so they could share with other relatives scattered across the country. As it turns out my MIL didn't really "get it" and never told people so a few of them were surprised when she mentioned the shower during a visit and I had some smoothing over to do - so just be extra clear that they should share the info if you have a sweet but spacey MIL :-)
If I had gone with paper invitations I would have asked to have my far-flung close friends and relatives who would appreciate baby news/registry info sent one as sort of a keepsake/nice piece of mail.
I only registered at Amazon.com and used Universal Registry. I did not put personal care items on mine, but I had a pretty small shower and wanted to put more fun stuff on the registry. However, about 50% of people didn't use my registry to purchase gifts. They bought clothes, toys, and books, so I'm relying on the completion discount for a lot of the practical items like crib sheets. One thing to note with the completion discount on Amazon.com is that only items sold by (not just shipped by) Amazon are eligible. Often if they are not the primary seller listed in search you can click on the "View more purchase options" under the place where you click to add to your cart and see if Amazon does sell it, maybe for a few cents more or something.
With most stores, inlcuding Amazon, you can add things to your registry before you complete it and get the discount that way. Most of them have some sort of expiration, just research that wherever you decide to register.
@Nickles9911: Thank you so much. This was really helpul as Amazon is the only registry that I'm Sure I want to use. I was wondering how their completion discount worked with all of the third party sellers, so that makes a lot of sense. I really appreciate your input!
@bwaychick: No problem, I had to carefully read their terms a few times to get it straight. They have some funny time limits too, like you can't use the completion until 30 days before your due date, so if you think you will want to order things sooner then make sure to put your due date as earlier than it really is :-)
Oh, and you can only get the discount on one cart-load, instead of some places which let you order/shop multiple times and get the discount. So, just make sure you add all the stuff you want (especially if you don't put things like nipple cream on your registry for the shower) before you place your completion order. I even added a wedge pillow to use in bed for night-time feedings!
@Nickles9911: Thanks again, that is all such great advice! I really appreciate it!
I registered for everything. 1. it will be almost exclusively women looking at your registry. 2. at BRU, the discount is ONLY on things on your registry before your due date, so if you want that discount, it needs to go on there. 3. someone gave me breast pads, so I'm glad it was on there.
For cloth diapers I would highly recommend sighing up for Zulily.com, every so often they will have a sale on cloth diapers and trust me they are good. I registered at Target and Amazon as well, it made things a lot easier and yes you can put where you register on the cards sent out, it's not bad etiquette because honestly....people WANT to know. You can put anything you want on it, doesn't mean you get it and if people feel uncomfortable lookin then they'll get you a gift card. :D Have fun!
Register for EVERYTHING and people will buy what they want. I received nipple cream, breast pads, maternity pads, diapers, etc. It was all super useful. Women who have had babies will buy you those things, because they know how much you'll need them.
@pattycake79: That site is really cool! Thanks for the tip!
@mrsSonthebeach: You raise a good point, I hadn't thought about the fact that it will be mostly women looking at the registry.
@Peach_Cobbler: I signed up for zulily the other day for that very reason!
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Hi! I have a few questions for the pregnant bees who have completed their registries and the bees that have recently had babies. I'm only 12 weeks, so I'm still pretty far from making mine, but I was just reading a few things online about registry etiquette, and I wanted to get some opinions. A few of the articles I read said not to register for smaller items, or items that are slightly embarrassing like nipple cream or breast pads. My question is, what did you do? If you don't register for those things, do you still get a discount when you go to the store to "complete your registry"? I know, when I was married, we registered at bed bath and beyond, and when I went to complete my registry I also got a discount off of anything else I wanted to buy in the store, but I can't remember if the discount was as good for things that weren't on my registry. Also, some of them said not to print where you are registering on the invitation, but that etiquette-wise, it's ok to do a separate print out that you mail with the invitation. Did you guys do that? (I ask about the invitations because by gay BFF is throwing the shower, and it's his first one. He's asked for my input in all areas.) Another thing they said was not to register at more than two places. I was thinking Amazon.com and Target for us, but then we want to cloth diaper, so I was considering doing a third for that... Now I don't know! I know that they have some cloth diapers at Amazon and Target, but they don't have everything that we'd need on those two sites. So, I've thrown a lot of questions at you! Any help you experienced bees could give would be great! Thanks!