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Every baby shower I've ever heard of has taken place before the baby was born.
I think it might be useful to check in with the parents-to-be about what they need. We're due in April, and we already have most of the things we'll need for a newborn. We received a ton of newborn stuff as Christmas gifts from family, bought some stuff used, and inherited a lot of other things like clothes and blankets. I already have probably twice as many 0-3 month sized clothes than I need, and my shower isn't for another month! There are also lots of things that we'll need, but that I'd rather wait to buy till after the baby- I'd rather try out a friend's swing or bouncer before buying one for our kid, we'd rather do a cloth diaper trial right after baby and then decide which brands we want, etc. So personally, I would have preferred to do ours probably 4-6 weeks after the baby is born. However, if there's a lot of stuff that these parents would need right away that they don't have yet, I think it makes good sense to do it now!
@maryjane: Even though I voted for before, I think that in your case it may be better to do it after. I know that I was SUPER uncomfortable 6 weeks before my due date and I really wasn't in the mood for a party OR very many visitors.
The new "trendy" thing to do now is host a "Sip and See" where people come over after the baby is born to see the baby and perhaps bring a gift.
I think having the shower a month before she's due would be fine. It only gives you two weeks to plan but it doesn't have to be that elaborate. Unless like the PP said - they have a ton of stuff. I think I'd prefer to deal with organizing and returning stuff if necessary before the baby was born. Plus they may be exhaused for a good while after the baby is born and not really feel up to having the shower.
In my culture, vietnamese, I hear they prefer to have a party after the baby is born, so people can also see the baby. I would still like to have a baby shower before giving birth but I would just know that my parents probably wouldn't be very interested in coming or giving gifts.
I've only been to baby showers before the baby was born. I've also heard of people doing a "Sip and See" after the baby is born, but that is basically for people to see the baby, not to receive presents.
I've never heard of a shower after the baby is born, except for those times when the baby is ready before its parents were! In that case, a lot of people gave their gifts sooner and just came to see the baby and enjoy the party a few weeks later.
But, I'd most definitely prefer the shower before the babies arrival. I want everything purchased and in place before the baby's arrival. It's really hard for me to wait to see what everyone will get us. I keep feeling an impulse to make my list of things needed and start buying it all... which is really silly since I'm just now approaching 12 weeks.
I think for a first time mom it might be best before. I have loved going to baby showers when the baby is actually there but as far as practical goes it makes more sense beforehand. I have my lists of everything I need at this point before the baby is born but since I'm not sure what all people will get at my shower I have my lists on hold so I can order anything left on my list after the shower. Hopefully that will lead to less duplicates and less returns. For my second kid I think I'll just have a the baby is here party to introduce them to the world instead of a shower beforehand.
For my sister's first, we hosted a shower after my niece was born. It gave everyone a chance to come and visit the baby about a month after the baby was born. It was nice because it actually cut down a lot on random visitors during those first few weeks when they were trying to adapt to their new life/routine. We had a library themed shower, where everyone brought their favorite children's book and we all made personalized book plates to put in the books for the new baby. My sister and brother in law really didn't want a bunch of "baby stuff" as they had been passed down lots of things, and chose/purchased the new stuff they really wanted themselves.
I had a shower before the baby was born local and a 'sip & see' in my home town when he was about 3 months old. The sip & see was informal open house style and a chance to show him off to my family and 'Gramie's friends' :)
Thanks for all your comments! I keep thinking before would be better, though I personally like to go to the 'after' ones a little better. I asked the mom-to-be, and she really doesn't have a preference and isn't even sure what they need. So I actually think I might call *her* mother--the grandma to be--and ask what she thinks would be best for my friend.
@maryjane: so I'm pretty anti-traditionalist... Usually, I would say it doesn't matter, either would be fine...
But there was something so unbearably wonderful about being surrounded by those that love me just a few weeks before our life changed forever. I soaked up every single one of the well-wishes and used all that positive energy to channel into the birth process. It helped me think of all the women who have gone before me and all the amazing people who would have my back in the good times and the bad.
So in this case I'm a total traditionalist and vote before the birth!
we always do work showers after so that everyone can see the baby. for my friends, it's always before.
Due to my special circumstance, we're having Wombat's shower after his/her birth. Otherwise, we'd have it before.
in some cultures (jewish) - its considered bad juju to have a shower before the baby is born. i think though most people do anyway since its the american thing to do....
why don't you just ask the expectant mom what she prefers??
In Chinese culture it is also bad luck to have a shower before the baby is born, but personally I think I would prefer before. My DH is Chinese-American but I am American so I don't know how that will work out when the time comes. My family has always done them before, and I think I'd be too "blah" too soon after having the baby and I'd be paranoid about people being sick and germs and wanting to hold the baby and stuff. I think I'm going to be the over protective mom type so I'd find it overwhelming to have all those people around my new baby all at the same time. And tucking away to breastfeed during a party in mine, dh, and baby's honor wouldn't be fun either. In all likelyhood I won't end up having a shower at all though, unfortunately, but who knows because TTC is still quite a ways off. But my vote is for before.
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Just wondering, for all you new moms, pregnant gals, and anyone else who wants to chime in.
Do you/would you prefer your shower to happen before, or after the baby's born? In my region it's common to do both. On one hand, more people come to the shower if the baby is there. on the other hand, the baby is exposed to a lot of germs and you need to wait until he/she is at least 3 weeks old, at which time the parents have already bought most of the things they'll need. So just wondering what you think about this. I have a friend who's due in about 6 weeks and I need to get cracking on planning something!