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i voted for a shower before the baby comes just because that is what i would prefer. i know people are having "sip n sees" more and more these days but i just think showers are so sweet and fun and really add to the whole vibe of getting ready to be a mommy. you never know what will happen with the weather... i think close friends and family will do whatever they can to get to your shower and spend what they can.
I did both and prefered the "before." You get the gear early and can wash things and be ready, so you don't feel like you have to stop at the store on the way home. Also, I struggled with breastfeeding at first and was so worried about him getting sick after being handled by a lot of people. My son lost 10% of his birth weight and I was exhausted by the time my shower happened, almost a month later.
Also, I was able to enjoy the shower instead of worrying about feeding schedules and lack of sleep.
I say before. I know NOTHING about northern winters, but I do know if it's after Christmas, ppl will be able to find a lot of things on sale So although they are buying things for family, they'll find huge baby sales going on too. You don't sound selfish. I know I'm hoping I get a ton of diapers off my registry for when baby goes to daycare.lol
Here is the thing. People who live in the midwest know how to drive and function in the midwest. Don't worry about blizzards or people not coming. They will be there.
Second, you are going to be tired, stressed, and nervous after you have your baby. Your baby is going to be on a set schedule and may not react well to being held by 20 different peope and passed from person to person. Also, if you are on a feeding schedule you will probably have to interupt your shower to feed the baby. I woud most definitely go with the shower pre baby rather than post.
I was just thinking about this the other day. I went to a shower recently, and it was about a month after her baby was born. It was really nice to see the baby, but I know I won't want to do the same when I have my own child. She was bottle feeding, but I hope to breastfeed, so I don't want to have to sneak away for a half hour to feed. Personally, I'd rather just enjoy the shower stress free. I wouldn't worry about the weather. If you live in Minnesota, everybody there knows how to drive in the ice and snow! It'll be fine.
I think it's totally up to you. I think that I would prefer a shower before just because I tend to be a little introverted, and I could see a large shower being a little much for me and the baby so soon. And like others have said it's nice to have everything organized, and get the things you need before the birth. But if you're comfortable with having it after, I think that would be fun too. I'd love to go to a shower where I actually get to hold the baby!
It's actually Jewish tradition to do the shower after the baby is born, we don't like to jinx things! Nothing baby related is allowed in the house until the baby is there.
I'm way too much of a planner though to follow that... so we had the shower before. I was way to anxious to have the baby's room together, and I feel good now that it's done and I won't have to worry about it when she gets here. (Other then the crib, my husband refuses to put that up until she's here so we will be sticking with a tiny bit of the tradition). Also, I would worry about having a lot of people around my baby when she's so tiny, especially during cold and flu season.
An old coworker of mine had hers after the baby was born, but I think it was more because of the health risks to her son. He had a slim chance of surviving, but by the grace of God he did!
I live in a similar weather area and frankly the weather still sucks in March.
I vote for do it before, how about in Novemeber before Christmas if you are that worried about that?
I went to a shower in the winter and never gave it a second thought. If you live here it's not a big deal!
If you live where it gets icey and snowy in the winter, then people know how to deal with it (I would know - I grew up in northern IN). Plus, the weather still usually isn't very good in March anyway so there isn't much of a difference.
I would prefer the shower before the baby is born. That way you can have everything organized and ready to go to minimize stress once the baby does arrive.
@Gerbera: I see you live in NY :) do you live in upstate? I actually lived in NY on Long Island for a year after I graduated HS. I went to work as a nanny for a year, and it's where I met my husband! We dated six months, I said I was moving home, so he proposed! haha so cute. So I married a New Yorker, he gets teased mercilessly about his accent here :) (it was the other way around for me in NY!)
I say before for the simple fact that you don't know how you're going to feel after having a baby. :)
awe. What a sweet story!
I actually got married on Long Island! :) Lived in NYC all my life and went to school in Upstate -WNY- and stayed here because my husband is here. :)
But yea we get nasty winters here and it's not a biggie >:)
I would say before, just because I like to be prepared, but we did both. Family threw one for me in the winter (I was about 5 months preggo) so my sister could come, and my "extended family" (people in the community I grew up knowing as extra grandparents & honourary aunties) threw a sip n' see about a month after my son was born, and it was actually alright -- not too long, relaxed etc. The reason the second one was after was because those ladies wanted to make/buy gender specific gifts I think.
Where I live we always do showers after the baby is born so that is my vote. To me it makes more sense because everyone gets to see the baby and you know the sex of the baby so people can buy appropriate gifts. However, if your tradition is normally before the baby is born and thats what you would prefer I wouldn't let the weather deter you. I live in Canada so I know about bad weather and crappy road conditions. But if people are used to driving in those conditions they don't let that kind of thing stop them.
Honestly I think you will want it before. That way you can get everything all set up and organized. Nesting will kick in and if your anything like me it will drive you nuts to not have everything in order. I dont think weather will be that big of an issue. Y'all live there so Im sure you are used to the cold weather.. even tho it stinks. Not to mention. If you were going to have it after that baby arrives you wont have everything you need at first and you arent going to want it right away bc you will need to have some time to adjust after the baby comes home from the hospital. So I vote for before the baby arrives :) Good luck!!!
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Sooo another question. (I feel I am bombarding the babies thread haha!)
I am due at the end of Feb, 2012, here in the midwest January-February are the worst weather months. negative temperatures, blizzards, storms, cooooooold, icy streets, millions of car accidents etc etc. My baby shower would probably be the beginning of January, right? (most are about 6-8 before the baby's due date)
Well, that's a terrible month to have a shower. Would people be able to come? What if there's a blizzard that day? You never know! Also, it's right after Christmas, and tho sales are usually good, it also means people's wallets are empty and I know that seems a really selfish thing to say but honestly first-time moms depend on showers to get the thing they can't afford! Right? Alright, I really hope I didn't sound selfish there! sorry :-/
Anyway. I was considering a "meet the baby" shower instead? It's probably be mid-March then. Several moms told me for their first few weeks, you don't really need a whole lot for the baby anyway - they eat, poop and sleep. Really.
What would you ladies prefer?
If you were invited to a shower in January in Minnesota, would you want to go? Or would you rather wait til March?
And as a mom, would you like a shower before or after?