Post # 1
I am hosting a couples shower for my best friend and will be providing dinner for everyone. We are expecting around 30 people, so the cost for beer can really add up fast, espically since the dad-to-be brothers, uncles, and friends can really throw them back. I do plan on making a spiked and unspiked drink, but want guests to BYOB. In this circle all of our parties are BYOB, but since this is a shower, I want to know if this is socially acceptable?
Also, the mom-to-be offered to cover the cost of the beer, but I don’t want her to do that, so should I tell her ahead of time that I am making it BYOB, or ask her if that is okay? Or just make the decision since I am the host?
Post # 3
It’s for a baby shower? Do people need to drink that much? LoL I would talk to to mom to be and ask what she thinks. I dont think a shower should be BYOB. We have BYOB parties all the time but it just seems a little tacky in this case.
Post # 4
Maybe you should cut down on food costs to allow for a larger alcohol budget? Hamburgers and hotdogs or maybe even heavy apps? Maybe ask some of her best friends if they would mind bringing an appetizer or desert. I think that is acceptable.
Post # 5
@SaraP2012: I would have to agree. This is a special occassion, which you offered/agreed to host. I think you should provide the alcohol.
Post # 6
Make punch. Makes the alcohol stretch a but further.
Post # 7
@AnnieAAA: personally I don’t think it’s appropriate to be drinking a ton at a baby shower. I would see no problem with you just having your planned drinks and NO beer. But if the mommy offered to buy beer it isn’t appropriate to ask people to bring their own.
Post # 8
@AnnieAAA: I disagree with the others, if you are provided a spiked drink and a non-spiked drink you are just fine. If they do not want the non-spiked drink they can bring their own. But that is just my humble opinion.
Post # 9
@AnnieAAA: I have to disgaree with some PP–I don’t think you are obligated to provide alcohol other than a spiked and unspiked punch. However, I wouldn’t do a BYOB. I would talk to the mom to be and just tell her you are doing a punch, but not buying any additonal alcohal for the ocassion and see what she says.
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
@AnnieAAA: I’d ask your friend what she thinks. If everyone is pretty chill and parties are usually BYOB, I don’t see why it’d be a problem.
We hosted a couple’s shower BBQ for our friends recently. We bought a case of beer and a few bottles of wine, but also said “feel free to bring some drinks if you want”… It was great and I don’t think anyone thought twice about bringing stuff. Our group likes to drink and people always bring a 6-pack or bottle of wine to parties at other people’s places.
Post # 11
I can’t help but wonder is alcohol at a baby shower even appropriate?
Post # 12
I don’t think you’re required to provide alcohol – you host what you can afford. If the guys don’t like it, they can go make a beer run themselves, but I wouldn’t make it BYOB. If it were me, I’d pick up like a 30 pack or 2 and call it a day. I’m guessing there aren’t more than a handful of men coming? I’d have enough so they can have 2-4 beers each. It’s a baby shower, not a frat party. They’ll live!
Post # 13
@lolot: out of curiosity how did you relate the “bring extra drinks if you want” message?
Thank you all for the suggestions about the punch, which I do plan on doing, but for the men (and a good handful of the women) in this group, I know they will want beer.
I do think that most will bring their own beer, because this is the norm in our circle, but I don’t want anyone to come and expect beer when there isn’t any; so I am trying to think of a way to present it.
Post # 14
@MrsWBS: I was thinking about that too – since we expect about 30 people, and all of those 30 guests drink (except for mommy-to-be of course) if I bought two 30 packs that would at least be 2 beers per person.
Also, alcohol is the norm for us, if this was a ladies only shower we would skip the alcohol or only have something like sangria as an option; but the mom-to-be wants this couples shower to be a laid back/bbq style shower, which means beer.
Post # 15
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
@AnnieAAA: we did a FB invite, and my direct quote (yes I looked back on “past events” to figure out how we handled it!) was “Food, drinks, and general merriment provided (but you can also bring some beer if you want).”
The day before or day of, people also asked me what they could bring, and I’d say “We got some beer and wine but you could bring some extra if you want”, to the people who I knew would want a few drinks.
It definitely wasn’t a very formal or stuffy affair and it sounds like yours is similar, so I think it’s totally acceptable etiquette. The people wondering if it drinking is appropriate are kinda cracking me up… my friends would be pissed if they showed up to a dinner and alcohol wasn’t allowed 😉
Post # 16
@AnnieAAA: I think you can spread it via word of mouth!