Weddingbee boards

I have a baby shower dilemma and need some help. Here's the situation: no one was offering to throw my SIL a baby shower, so I happily offered. It's not going to be the traditional women-only thing, but co-ed, familes, kids, etc. and guest list is sizable (40-50). When I offered, I was thinking of renting a private room somewhere and having it catered. I work really long hours and honestly, it's the only way I'll be able to throw one - I don't really have the time to cook, setup, clean up, etc. But SIL and her husband think anything catered is too fancy and want something casual, which I think in their minds means easier and they want me to throw it at one of their parents houses. I don't know his family at all, so just don't feel comfortable throwing it at their house (and he has several sisters, so I feel like one of them should take over if that's where they want to have it). I know my parents in law, but their house really can't handle 50 people. I have no problem making it casual, but in my opinion, once you reach 50 people on a guest list, casual is still a ton of work and I'd rather just cater. I'm not sure what to do - I want to still throw it for her and I want her to have a party she's comfortable with, but I honestly don't have the time to do something non-catered. What's the etiquette on this one? Am I allowed to say no, sorry, we're doing it my way? Should I back out? Or do I really need to do whatever she wants? Help! By the way, my apartment can't handle 50 people either.

I got married last year and only had 30 people at my wedding : ) I think because it's the only shower, she's trying to fit in everyone (and both familes are large). It's definitely a challenge!

Oh and I forgot to mention, she does keep offering to ask some of the guests to help out, but I don't really think it's cool to invite guests to a party and then put them to work. But maybe that's just my own issue...

How about hosting it at a park and bringing in some platters from Whole Foods etc?  That way you get casual (what she wants) and not as labor intensive (what you want).  Either that or just explain to her that you are happy to host but for time purposes need have it catered and work with her on menu.  Lots of caterers can do comfort foods or something not typically considered fancy.  Good luck! 

I love the idea of having it outside, in a park or something, and bringing the platters from grocery store or deli.  I have never been to a shower where we had an actual meal... not sure if that is the norm but every baby (or wedding) shower I've ever attended or thrown has been appetizers or some finger food only, plus cake.

I would second the suggestion of Mimi's Cafe or some other restaurant that is close to you.  I have had really good luck with this.  Many restaurants have a private room, and if you do it in the middle of a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, it is usually the slowest time and not difficult to reserve the room.  You can order a few appetizers or a couple of sampler trays and they've always let me bring in my own cake.  Plus if people want to order a beer or cocktail, they can do it and pay themselves.  And you don't have to clean.  I have done this in Old Chicago's and Rock Bottom Brewery.  I bet if you looked around, depending on your area, you'd find a place that could hold 40-50.  Good luck!  Let us know what you decide!

I dont think a catered meal is too fancy especially if it's easier for you and you are the one planning it. However, I'll agree with some abovie posters and say you could always do a backyard/park bbq if she insists that she doesnt want a catered meal.