Post # 1
Please help me decided…
post-wedding I have a renewed appreciate for showers. It’s not that I didn’t like them before, I just see the importance of attending this once-in-a-lifetime type event.
That said – a distant friend (more of an acquaintance) is having a baby shower for her 3rd baby this Saturday. Apparently, invites went out (I never got one in the mail) and I got a follow-up ‘reminder’/please RSVP email two days ago (Saturday). This shower is for this Saturday.
My issue is, I made brunch plans with a friend weeks ago. I could very easily ask the friend if we could push it to lunch (which I think I’ll plan to do), but I’m feeling kind of bitter about the last-minute type invite, plus feeling strange that she’s having a 3rd baby shower (I don’t think she had one for her 2nd, and I didn’t go to her 1st (I don’t think-can’t remember!).
So, besides feeling like a second-class guest and it being the 3rd kid and already having plans…. I’m wondering if I’m over-reacting (in being a tiny bit bitter about it).
Thoughts? Would you go?
Post # 3
If she’s not a close friend I probably wouldn’t go. That’s a very last minute invite and you’ve already made plans. I’d just send a nice card and wish her the best with the new baby.
Post # 4
Do whatever you want. I’ve had trouble giving a list of who to invite to the shower because there’s these acquaintances I don’t know what to do with. I don’t want to seem like I’m just inviting someone for a gift but at the same time I don’t want to exclude someone who’s kinda a friend and them feel like I don’t think of them at all like a friend.
Post # 5
Hmmmm, I don’t think you should make the decision to go based on your hurt feelings, if that makes sense. Is attending/not attending going to hurt your relationship with this person in future? Do you have to socialize with her a lot or do you have a lot of friends in common that would make it uncomfortable for you if you don’t attend? If so, I would say just go, because you’ll be saving yourself from more hurt feelings in the future. If you are not close/hardly ever socialize/don’t see yourselves getting close in the future/etc… beg off with the excuse that you had already made other plans. It’s the truth, so it’s not like you’re lying, and you can always send a small, practical gift.
Post # 6
I’d RSVP “No” – just because you already have other plans and EVEN if you were suppose to get the first invitation, you didn’t. If it’s someone you’re not close to then don’t sweat it, I’m sure they don’t expect everyone invited to attend.
I skipped a wedding shower (that I didn’t really want to go to) because I never got an invite till a few days before, it ended up that I had to work but I wasn’t sad about having to decline.
Post # 7
I probably would not go, but really the choice is up to you…a baby shower for the 3rd child, you were on the “B” list, and you already have plans. I think it is okay to pass and I agree with chexmixDC and say, send a card congratulating distant friend on the new addition to the family, but saying that unfortunately you already made plans.
Post # 8
Maybe RSVP “no” but still send a gift & card?