Post # 1
I am due at the beginning of October and my mom has recently mentioned to me that she would like to host a baby shower for me in August. I am so grateful that she wants to put together a shower, but I have two concerns. For my bridal shower, my sister-in-law threw me a party at her house and it was lovely, but only about 10 people came. My co-workers also hosted me a work shower, and because most of my friends in the area are people I also work with, they didn’t want to come to two showers, so my personal and family shower ended up being relatively small.
My family is pretty small and spread out, and my husband is from another country and doesn’t have any family here. Many of my college friends also live outside the area. So, if my mom hosts a baby shower, it would only be my mom, sister-in-law, a few aunts, and a handful of friends I would invite who I don’t work with. The baby shower would again be small, probably 10 people (possibly less given that it’s summer and people are away a lot on weekends).
I don’t know if I should just have my mom scrap the shower idea. But I also don’t want to “count on the fact” that I’ll be getting a work baby shower. I could have my mom host the baby shower and invite co-workers as well as family and outside friends (20 people) but just go in assuming it will be small and be ok with it. Or should I tell my mom to save her money and scrap it, assuming that any family members or other friends who would like to do something for baby will do so regardless of the shower?
Another complicating factor is that while my mom is happy to organize, she isn’t great at decorating and told me I could be in charge of picking out whatever details and decorations I wanted. This is fine with me because I love decorating for parties, but I don’t know if it’s going to end up being an added stressor or not.
In the end, I would love to have a baby shower even if it is small so I can have some lovely pictures to look back on. But I just don’t know if having such a small shower is worth all the work and money that will go into it, and if it only ends up being 6-8 people will I feel silly that no one came after all that work?
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Post # 2
would any of your friends want to organize with your mom to throw a combined shower?
Post # 3
I think you should have her go for it! My family and DH’s family are scattered throughout the country. My BMs threw me a (small) bridal shower with some friends, my mom, and my MIL in attendance. It was great. Don’t pass up this chance to celebrate with the people who ARE around you! And then if there’s a work shower too, even more fun. I actually think smaller showers are better because you can actually talk to all of the people there…. if there are 30 people in attendance, that’s not going to happen.
Post # 4
I would have your mom contact your closest work friend and say that she is interested in throwing a shower, but knows there was cross over with invitees for the wedding shower and was hoping worker friend would like to cohost a baby shower with her.
then you get a shower, there’s no worry of double inviting people, and all is well. and 20 isn’t that small. My baby shower will have that many or less.
Post # 5
I had 12 people at my baby shower and it was a lovely lunch and I really enjoyed it. A small shower can be really nice, and if it is kept simple it shouldn’t be too much work or stress for anyone!
Post # 6
I have a small group of friends and had about 10-12 at my shower. It was a lot of fun and nice, because it didn’t last FOREVER, like it would have if there were a ton of people there.
I say go for it 🙂
Post # 7
i like the idea about your mom co-hosting with a close work friend. I chose not to have a shower because my bridal shower was a hot mess and i didn’t want a repeat of that. Since i didn’t have a shower a lot of my close family didn’t give us gifts for the baby. In fact my sister said since i wasn’t having a shower i was depriving her of the joy of giving gifts to her niece. I never thought that i had to attend a party or event to give someone a gift and often give gifts once baby arrives even if i wasn’t invited to the shower. But apparently my family felt that no shower=no gift. I still don’t regret my decision to not have a shower.
Post # 8
Thanks for the replies everyone. I had agreed to go ahead with the shower and we were just about to put the deposit down when my mom got word that two of my aunts would be unable to attend, so th shower would be even smaller than I originally anticipated – maybe only 5 or 6 people. I told my mom to scrap the idea. She suggested contacting a co-worker to do something together, and I might entertain it, but right now, it looks like I won’t be having a shower. I am a little sad but I know most of the friends I would invite are really busy this summer anyway and I’d rather have none than throw something and only have a couple people show up.
Another idea I had was to throw a little man-shower for my husband. His 30th birthday is literally a few days after our due date, so we had been talking about doing a party a month or so in advance. I’m wndering if we could combine baby shower/birthday party somehow without it being tacky!
Post # 9
Maybe you could do a “sprinkle” and just invite people out for a nice lunch or something?
Post # 10
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
I don’t think the shower needs to be a big elaborate affair with lots of people and lots of money spent on it. Honestly, getting together with just a few close friends and family to celebrate the baby coming sounds great to me.