Post # 1
My BIL and his wife are having their second baby, and have invited me to a baby shower. Because it’s my husband’s immediate family, I feel like it’s probably important that I go. However, if I did go, I wouldn’t be bringing them a gift.
What outweighs the other? Should I go because I’m family, or sit it out because I’m not giving a gift? I’m pretty sure that the answer is to sit it out, but I’m not totally sure.
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Why no gift? If you can’t afford it, surely you can make something or spend $10 at a used book store on kids’ books.
If you don’t like them and don’t want to give a gift for that reason, then I wouldn’t go to the shower for the same reason.
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
I don’t understand not giving a gift at all. Even a card congratulating them would be fine.
Post # 5
Just wondering, why aren’t you giving them a gift?
Post # 6
@likewoah: Maybe a couple used books from the thrift store? Easily under $5 and it’s something for the baby!
Post # 7
Can I ask why you’re not giving them a gift? Making painted wooden letters that spell the baby’s name that match the nursery is super cheap to do, just takes a little bit of time.
Post # 8
Why wouldn’t you be giving them a gift? Going to a shower without a gift seems awful tasteless, as does NOT going beacuse you don’t feel like giving a gift.
Post # 9
I’m not giving them a gift because I am still waiting on any sort of acknowledgement for their wedding gift, baby shower gift, and baby’s 1st birthday gift. I’d be happy to give them a card and my well wishes.
Post # 10
I would either make up a reason that you cannot attend, or suck it up and buy a small gift.
Post # 11
Oooooh. I wouldn’t give them a gift, either, in that case!
I would still probably go, though, unless you can manufacture a REALLY good excuse for why you can’t be there!
Post # 12
Okay, so they aren’t acquainted with the “rules of etiquette” regarding milestone acknowledgement.
Why would you “punish” the new baby for the parents misstep?
Most definitely, I would purchase a baby gift as well as a gift for the older sibling.
Celebrating the birth of a baby is a joyous occasion and I will always give a gift whether or not it is acknowledged.
Post # 13
I think a card with well wishes would definitely be okay in this instance since they haven’t thanked you for any gift you have given them.
Post # 14
I’d probably just bring a card in this instance!
Post # 15
I’d go but not bring a gift since they already had a baby shower so idk why they are having another one.
Post # 16
You are not wrong to feel uninclined to give these people a gift, but showers are really the one occasion where they are indeed an obligation, so I would not attend in that case. It’s not your place to correct a grown person’s lack of manners or to call them out, however.
If it were me, and I liked the person or was going to be related, I’d very likely go and give a small gift, anyway.